today
smart phone
Today,I bought new smart phone.It is more improve performance than before own smart phone. And,it only take cost 1 yen monthly. I'm really surprised！ After,I bought earphonrs. I feel today is good day.
今日、私は新しいスマホを買った
それは前持ってたものよりも性能が良かった。
しかも、それは月々1円しかかからない
本当に驚いた。
その後、私はイヤホンを買った。
今日はいい一日になると感じた。
Correction Settings
sSmart phone
Smartphone
This is one word
Today, I bought a new smart phone.
Today, I bought a new smartphone.
It is more improvehas better performance than before ownmy old smart phone.
It has better performance than my old smartphone.
Your previous smartphone = "my old smartphone"
And, it only take costs 1 yen per monthly.
And it only costs 1 yen per month.
More natural
I'm really surprised！ I'm really surprised！
Since you're describing a story here, it would be a little better to put this in the past tense, "I was really surprised." Having it in the present tense puts more emphasis that you are still surprised about it as you write your text (which is fine)
After, that, I bought new earphonres.
After that, I bought new earphones.
I feel like today is a good day. I feel like today is a good day.
Feedback
Great job
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smart phone
This is one word |
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Today,I bought new smart phone.
Today, I bought a new smart |
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It is more improve performance than before own smart phone.
It Your previous smartphone = "my old smartphone" |
|
And,it only take cost 1 yen monthly.
And More natural |
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I'm really surprised！ I'm really surprised！ I'm really surprised！ Since you're describing a story here, it would be a little better to put this in the past tense, "I was really surprised." Having it in the present tense puts more emphasis that you are still surprised about it as you write your text (which is fine) |
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After,I bought earphonrs.
After |
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I feel today is good day. I feel like today is a good day. I feel like today is a good day. |
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