More and more people attempt to settle down in cities such as New York or London, in their pursuit of better life, happiness and success.

The idea of "settling down in cities such as New York or London" is not a separate thought from "in their pursuit of a better life", so the comma isn't necessary here.

In this essay, I will look at the both sideboth the pros and cons and draw some conclusions.

"Both sides" is weird here, because it implies two stances of an issue. If your prior sentence had been something like "There are people who are for living in a big city, and people who are against," you could use "both sides" here. As it is with "positives and negatives" it doesn't flow very well.

Let’s start by looking at some of the positive aspects.

One of the significant advantages is a greater number of work opportunities.

Considering the fact that large cities attract all kinds of industries, everyone who have ambitionus people can find histheir place and succeed in one of the many companies.

You could also say "can find their place". The use of "he" for a gender neutral hypothetical person has fallen out of favor for use of the singular they. Previously, you would often see "his or her place" but that's just clunky.

"Everyone", despite implying a plurality, is actually a singular noun. "Everyone has," "Everyone does," "Everyone knows."

In addition, working inat such companies allows you to have more impact on the society.

Ah, "at," my favorite preposition.
You can't say "working in a company", it has to be "at". I'll try to explain why.
"At" is used generally for places that are more an idea than a specific location, and its various usages imply this.
For example, before flying, you must arrive at the airport. The airport contains a lot of areas, like the dropoff, the airport itself, security, baggage, etc. If you say you're "at the airport" you mean you are generally in an area that could be defined loosely as "the airport." "In the airport" means you are physically inside a specific location, in this case, specifically inside the airport.
You can be "at the bank" which could imply that you're in the parking lot, or in the surrounding area. "The bank" just like "the airport" becomes a concept, of which there are many physical locations implied.
So, that being said, you can't really work "in" a company. You can "work at a company", just like you could "work at a bank" or "work at a store," or "work at a school." In these cases, you are substituting the physical location of the work being done (company, bank, store, school) and instead implying something about the concept of these things. For example, would you still work a company if you didn't work at the main office?
I want to make one further point: if you said something like "I work in a store," it could be understood that you maybe don't work for the store, you just work physically in a location that happens to be inside stores. Maybe you work for a food company that stocks your product on grocery store shelves. The same if you said "I work in a school." It could be understood that you don't work for the school, or you aren't a school employee. Maybe you're a technician who doesn't work for the school, but does work inside schools.

This is very nuanced, and you'll get it with practice. Sorry for the complexities. 😅

Another major benefit can be is that the city proposes a wider choice inoffers more options for shopping, hobbies and entertainment.

It doesn't flow as well to say "a wider choice." Choices can't be wide. Maybe "a wider selection of shops" or "more options for shopping" or so on.

This could be centralimportant particularly to the young people, who want to broaden their horizons and try new experiences.

No need for "the" here. Also, since "who want to broaden" applies to the young people, you don't need a comma here.

To the turningurning to the other side of the argument, living in a large city could be much more expensive.

The more you earn, there more you need to pay.

This may lead to a stress and anxiety, forcing people to make wrong decisions in their life and career, just to make ends meet.

In mostsome cases, the environment in some large cities is far from being pleasant.

"In most cases" contradicts "some." Use only one or the other.

As a result, it affects negatively onaffects health, increasing medical expenses and making the life of the citizens poorer.

All aspects considered, living in a large city could add some values to the people's’ lives but also has some inevitable drawbacks.

So "people" is a different word from "peoples." In this case, you aren't talking about "peoples" but about "people". A way to discern this would be to break the phrase up using a prepositional phrase: "lives of the people" vs "lives of the peoples". Since the former makes sense, then the phrase must be "people's lives".

While big city life is always going withto have more opportunities, the negative aspects could outweigh the positive for some of us.

"Outweigh" needs to have both what is outweighing and what it being outweighed. So, in this case, "negatives outweigh the positives".

I believe that for a mindful and joyful human- being, it is not the matter ¶
of where you live but rather how you feel inside.

More and more people attempt to settle down in cities such as New York or London, in their pursuit of a better life, happiness, and success.

In this essay, I will look at the both sides and draw some conclusions.

One of the significant advantages is the greater number of work opportunities.

Considering the fact that large cities attract all kinds of industries, everyone who haves ambitions can find his place and succeed in one of the many companies. located there.

In addition, working in such companies allows you to have more/a larger impact on the society.

Another major benefit can be is that the citycities proposes a wider choice in shopping, hobbies, and entertainment to enjoy.

This could be central particularly to the young people, who want to broaden their horizons and try new experiences.

To the turnurning the opposing side of the argument, living in a large city could be much more expensive.

The more you earn, there more you need to pay.

This may lead to a stress and anxiety, forcing people make wrong decisions in their life and career, just to make ends meet.

In most cases, the environment in some large cities is far from being pleasant.

As a result, it affects negatively onaffects health, increasing medical expenses and making life of the citizens to be poorer.

All aspects considered, living in a large city could add some values to the peoples’s lives but also has some inevitable drawbacks.

While big city life is always going withcontains more opportunities, the negative aspects could outweigh the positives for some of us.

I believe that, for a mindful and joyful human- being, it idoes not the matter where you live, but rather how you feel inside.

More and more people attempt to settle down in cities such as New York or London, in their pursuit of a better life, happiness and success.

In this essay, I will look at the both sides and draw some conclusions.

Considering the fact that large cities attract all kinds of industries, everyone who have ambitions can find histheir place and succeed in one of the many companies.

In addition, working in such companies allows you to have more impact on the society.

This may lead to a stress and anxiety, forcing people to make wrong decisions in their life and career, just to make ends meet.