dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

Dec. 17, 2021

0
Libretas

Hey, my real name is Anita, but my secret name is Libretas. I am superheroine and my simbol is a black thunder.
My costume is all black like a dark with white thunder on my chest and I also have a black mask that only covers half of my face. Because I don't want people to see and recognize me. My powers are simple I am able to think, act, move in seconds or less far faster than normal people could think of. I also have weapons because my powers aren't strong enough.I have weapons all over my body like a simple handgun, battle staff and bracelets that discharge electricity.People didn't see me because I only transform when the last sunlight sets and the first rays of the moon come out.
I have many enemies, but my worst enemie is Quicksilver. He takes electricity from neighboring cities to keep the whole world in darkness, but I stop him from doing it every time and sometimes I win and bring electricity back to the city, but I think he will never stop until total darkness comes into the world.

Corrections

Libretas

Hey, my real name is Anita, but my secret name is Libretas.

I am superheroine and my siymbol is a black thunderbolt.

By "thunder" did you mean lightning bolt? (They can also be called "thunderbolts") I'm not quite sure. For reference, this is what I think you meant: https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.8NOSdbw12tvGJWxpfyFp1wHaHp&pid=Api&P=0&w=300&h=300

My costume is all black like a dark, with a white thunderlightning bolt on my chest, and I also have a black mask that only covers half of my face.,

I'm not sure what you meant by "with a dark" here.

Bbecause I don't want people to see and recognize me.

Better to link this part with the previous sentence.

My powers are simple I am able to think, act, move in mere seconds or less, far faster than normal people could think of.

Just added a word for the flow.

I also have weapons because my powers aren't strong enough. (on their own). I have weapons all over my body like a simple handgun, battle staff and bracelets that discharge electricity. People didon't see me because I only transform when the last sunlight sets and the first rays of the moon come outfall.

1. Added a phrase for flow (the one in brackets)

2. One usually says "rays of X *fall*" (depends on the dialect though)

I have many enemies, but my worst enemiey is Quicksilver.

He takes electricity from neighboring cities to keep the whole world in darkness, but I stop him from doing it every time and sometimes I win and bring electricity back to the city, but I think he will never stop until total darkness comes intovers the world.

Changed a word because it sounded more natural.

Feedback

Quite well-written, good spelling, and generally well-structured sentences with some mistakes. Keep on writing, I really like when you do! :)

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

Dec. 18, 2021

0

I am superheroine and my siymbol is a black thunderbolt.

That is what I meant. A thunderbolt.
Thank you

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

Dec. 18, 2021

0

Thank you so much for taking your time!

Faizyrooma4's avatar
Faizyrooma4

Dec. 19, 2021

1

No problem!

Libretas

Hey, my real name is Anita, but my secret name is Libretas.

I am a superheroine and my siymbol is a black thunderbolt.

My costume is all black like a dark with a white thunderbolt on my chest, and I also have a black mask that only covers half of my face.

BThis is because I don't want people to see and recognize me.

My powers are simple: I am able to think, act, and move in seconds or less; far faster than normal people could think of.

I also have weapons because my powers aren't strong enough. I have weapons all over my body, like a simple handgun, battle staff and bracelets that discharge electricity. People didon't see me because I only transform when the last sunlightsun sets and the first rays of the moon come out.

I have many enemies, but my worst enemiey is Quicksilver.

He takes electricity from neighboring cities to keep the whole world in darkness, but I stop him from doing it every time, and sometimes I win and bring electricity back to the city, but I think he will never stop until total darkness comes intotakes over the world.

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

Dec. 18, 2021

0

Thank you so much for taking your time!

Libretas


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Hey, my real name is Anita, but my secret name is Libretas.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I am superheroine and my simbol is a black thunder.


I am a superheroine and my siymbol is a black thunderbolt.

I am superheroine and my siymbol is a black thunderbolt.

By "thunder" did you mean lightning bolt? (They can also be called "thunderbolts") I'm not quite sure. For reference, this is what I think you meant: https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.8NOSdbw12tvGJWxpfyFp1wHaHp&pid=Api&P=0&w=300&h=300

My costume is all black like a dark with white thunder on my chest and I also have a black mask that only covers half of my face.


My costume is all black like a dark with a white thunderbolt on my chest, and I also have a black mask that only covers half of my face.

My costume is all black like a dark, with a white thunderlightning bolt on my chest, and I also have a black mask that only covers half of my face.,

I'm not sure what you meant by "with a dark" here.

Because I don't want people to see and recognize me.


BThis is because I don't want people to see and recognize me.

Bbecause I don't want people to see and recognize me.

Better to link this part with the previous sentence.

My powers are simple I am able to think, act, move in seconds or less far faster than normal people could think of.


My powers are simple: I am able to think, act, and move in seconds or less; far faster than normal people could think of.

My powers are simple I am able to think, act, move in mere seconds or less, far faster than normal people could think of.

Just added a word for the flow.

I also have weapons because my powers aren't strong enough.I have weapons all over my body like a simple handgun, battle staff and bracelets that discharge electricity.People didn't see me because I only transform when the last sunlight sets and the first rays of the moon come out.


I also have weapons because my powers aren't strong enough. I have weapons all over my body, like a simple handgun, battle staff and bracelets that discharge electricity. People didon't see me because I only transform when the last sunlightsun sets and the first rays of the moon come out.

I also have weapons because my powers aren't strong enough. (on their own). I have weapons all over my body like a simple handgun, battle staff and bracelets that discharge electricity. People didon't see me because I only transform when the last sunlight sets and the first rays of the moon come outfall.

1. Added a phrase for flow (the one in brackets) 2. One usually says "rays of X *fall*" (depends on the dialect though)

I have many enemies, but my worst enemie is Quicksilver.


I have many enemies, but my worst enemiey is Quicksilver.

I have many enemies, but my worst enemiey is Quicksilver.

He takes electricity from neighboring cities to keep the whole world in darkness, but I stop him from doing it every time and sometimes I win and bring electricity back to the city, but I think he will never stop until total darkness comes into the world.


He takes electricity from neighboring cities to keep the whole world in darkness, but I stop him from doing it every time, and sometimes I win and bring electricity back to the city, but I think he will never stop until total darkness comes intotakes over the world.

He takes electricity from neighboring cities to keep the whole world in darkness, but I stop him from doing it every time and sometimes I win and bring electricity back to the city, but I think he will never stop until total darkness comes intovers the world.

Changed a word because it sounded more natural.

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