April 29, 2020
Leisure
It may sound shameful to the people who devote themselves to working that we work in order to enjoy leisure. I think, however, it is leisure that opens the door to the joyful life and establish a good work-life balance.
われわれはレジャーを楽しむために働くのだと言えば、仕事だけの世界に生きる人たちには不道徳極まることのように聞こえよう。しかし、レジャーこそ人間的自由への門を開くものであり、かえって仕事の世界を成り立たせる基盤ではなかろうか。
Leisure
It may sound shameful to the peopltrange to those who devote themselves to working that we work in order to enjoy leisure.
The only real correction was "shameful" to "strange." The other changes are stylistic suggestions. I changed people to "those" because in context, it's clear that you're referring to people.
I think, however, it is leisure that opens the door to the joyful life and establish a good work-lifegives/lends life happiness and balance.
This is just a suggestion. I will say in general that "joy/joyful" aren't used by native speakers as often as you might think. The more "native-sounding" concept would be happiness. "Joy" has religious connotations that the language learner rarely wants to communicate, in my experience.
Feedback
Overall, great entry. Well done.
May 4, 2020
I've never heard that "joy" has religious nuance. That's interesting... Thank you!!!!!
Leisure
It may sound (shameful doesn’t quite work here, try absurd) to the people who devote themselves to working that we work in order to enjoy leisure.
I think, however, it is leisure that opens the door to the joyful life and establish(es) a good work-life balance.
April 29, 2020
thank you!!
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Leisure This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It may sound shameful to the people who devote themselves to working that we work in order to enjoy leisure. It may sound (shameful doesn’t quite work here, try absurd) to the people who devote themselves to working that we work in order to enjoy leisure. It may sound s The only real correction was "shameful" to "strange." The other changes are stylistic suggestions. I changed people to "those" because in context, it's clear that you're referring to people. |
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I think, however, it is leisure that opens the door to the joyful life and establish a good work-life balance. I think, however, it is leisure that opens the door to the joyful life and establish(es) a good work-life balance. I think, however, it is leisure that This is just a suggestion. I will say in general that "joy/joyful" aren't used by native speakers as often as you might think. The more "native-sounding" concept would be happiness. "Joy" has religious connotations that the language learner rarely wants to communicate, in my experience. |
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