Deryck was travelling around the world looking for the best place where he wouldto live out the rest of his life. Deryck was traveling around the world looking for the best place to live out the rest of his life.

Deryck was travelling around the world looking for the best place where he wouldto live the rest of his life. Deryck was travelling around the world looking for the best place to live the rest of his life.

This time, Deryck comwas passing through the Retame Kingdom when he decided to spend the night. This time, Deryck was passing through the Retame Kingdom when he decided to spend the night.

This time, Deryck comwas going through the Retame Kingdom when he decided to spend the night. This time, Deryck was going through the Retame Kingdom when he decided to spend the night.

He stopped at village tavern, ordered an ale(,) and enjoyed the evening atmosphere. He stopped at village tavern, ordered an ale(,) and enjoyed the evening atmosphere.

He stopped at a village tavern, ordered an ale and enjoyed the evening atmosphere. He stopped at a village tavern, ordered an ale and enjoyed the evening atmosphere.

After a few hours, he heard an intensive discussion. After a few hours, he heard an intense discussion.

One middle-aged man with the axe and red beard was arguesing with an old man about something. One middle-aged man with the axe and red beard was arguing with an old man about something.

One middle-aged man with thean axe and a red beard argues with an old man about something. One middle-aged man with an axe and a red beard argues with an old man about something.

Remember your articles, you've forgotten them a few times in this piece.

Cruel Hand (that's the axe man's name)The man holding the axe, Cruel Hand, stated that all men from the village should gather together and go to the forest to finish whatever its causes theing problems. The man holding the axe, Cruel Hand, stated that all men from the village should gather together and go to the forest to finish whatever is causing problems.

The original, while correct English, is a little unnatural in the context of storytelling/creative writing

Cruel Hand (that's the axe man's nameas the man with the axe was called) stated that all men from the village should gather together and go to the forest to finish off whatever itwas causesing the problems. Cruel Hand (as the man with the axe was called) stated that all men from the village should gather together and go to the forest to finish off whatever was causing the problems.

"that's the axe man's name" is grammatically fine, but I think "as the man with the axe was called" fits the storytelling style you're writing better.

Deryck approached to their table. Deryck approached their table.

Deryck approached to their table. Deryck approached their table.

"approached" already has the meaning of "to" built in, so we don't write "to" with it.

Old man with confidenceThe confident old man points thea finger at Deryck's face and asks: "You a're the hunter, right? The confident old man points a finger at Deryck's face and asks: "You're the hunter, right?

Old man wWith confidence points the, the old man pointed a finger at Deryck's face and asks: "You are thea hunter, right? With confidence, the old man pointed a finger at Deryck's face and asks: "You are a hunter, right?

"a finger" instead of "the finger" as you haven't previously mentioned a finger.

We need a help". We need help".

We need a help". We need help".

"help" as a noun is uncountable, so it doesn't take an article

Cruel Hand yells: "How on earth 1could one hunter will solve this? "How on earth could one hunter solve this?

Cruel Hand yells: "How on earth 1can one hunter will solve this? Cruel Hand yells: "How on earth can one hunter solve this?

When writing a story, it's more natural to put numbers into words than digits, especially numbers with short names like 1-12, 20, etc.

We even don't know what we should expect!" Cruel Hand yells. We even don't know what we should expect!" Cruel Hand yells.

We even don't even know what we should expect!" We don't even know what we should expect!"

"Yes, but perhaps he'll fouind out and we wi'll know what to do next". "Yes, but perhaps he'll find out and we'll know what to do next".

"Yes, but perhaps hwe'll fouind out and we will know what to do next". "Yes, but perhaps we'll find out and we will know what to do next".

Your character is talking about something in the future from their perspective so they should use "find" instead of "found", as found is past tense,

Deryck agreed to help the villagers. Deryck agreed to help the villagers.

Deryck agreed to help the villagers. Deryck agreed to help the villagers.

They told him that somewhatthing captured their forest - all beasts started to attacking people without a reason. They told him that something captured their forest - beasts started attacking people without a reason.

They told him that somewhatthing captured their forest - all the beasts started to attack people without a reason. They told him that something captured their forest - all the beasts started to attack people without a reason.

"somewhat" is a modifier that means "a little". I think "something" is the word you were looking for.

Maybe it's a druid who rules the forest and doesn't like it when someone reachescomes into his territory. Maybe it's a druid who rules the forest and doesn't like it when someone comes into his territory.

Maybe it's a druid who rules the forest and doesn't like when someone reaches his territory. Maybe it's a druid who rules the forest and doesn't like when someone reaches his territory.

Third person singular use "doesn't" instead of "don't"

Hunter (Deryck) thanked them for the information and went to finish this mission alone. Hunter (Deryck) thanked them for the information and went to finish this mission alone.

HThe hunter thanked him for the information and went to finish thise mission alone. The hunter thanked him for the information and went to finish the mission alone.

"thanked" needs a target ("him" in this case). If you want to omit a target, you could say "the hunter said thank you for the information"