May 17, 2025
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俳句と川柳 俳句と川柳
俳句と川柳
俳句（冬のイメージ）
白い雪
窓の外静か
寒い朝
川柳（昨日の朝日と読書）
昨日の朝
日の出を見たあと
読んだ本
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なかなかやるな。
May 18, 2025
ありがとうございます。
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This is just a critique from a layman's perspective, but since snow is white and the fact that it's snowing means it's definitely cold, I think it would result in a better haiku if you thoroughly cut out such redundant expressions and sublimate them into different expressions. That said, if you ask me specifically how to do it, I don’t know because I’m an amateur.
May 18, 2025
Thank you. I will try to write a better haiku next time.
ありがとうございます。 次はもっとうまくやるようにするよ。
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俳句と川柳 This sentence has been marked as perfect! 俳句と川柳 俳句と川柳 俳句と川柳 俳句（冬のイメージ） 白い雪 窓の外静か 寒い朝 川柳（昨日の朝日と読書） 昨日の朝 日の出を見たあと 読んだ本 |
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