June 29, 2025
Part 2: It Was Not a Coincidence
One day, I started to hate her cousin without a reason. Daniela would said that her cousin was "so beautiful" , and how I was an insecure teenager, I appropriated this jealous without noticed.
After, I had a boyfriend for two months. We didn't share a lot of time, but I got my hopes up. When we ended our relationship, I watched a Facebook post that hurt me: my ex and Daniela's cousin appeared together, happy, and showing their relationship.
I felt a direct knife in my heart. Daniela knew everything. Now, I understand that it was not a coincidence.
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Part 2: It Was Not a Coincidence
One day, I started to hate her cousin without a reason.
Daniela would saidy that her cousin was "so beautiful" ," and how I was an insecure teenager,. I appropriated thiccepted that this was jealously without noticedmuch thought.
Daniela would say that her cousin was "so beautiful," and how I was an insecure teenager. I accepted that this was jealously without much thought.
AfLater, I had a boyfriend for two months.
Later, I had a boyfriend for two months.
We didn't sharepend a lot of time together, but I got my hopes up.
We didn't spend a lot of time together, but I got my hopes up.
When we ended our relationship, I watched asaw a post on Facebook post that hurt me: my ex and Daniela's cousin appeared together, happy, and showing off their relationship.
When we ended our relationship, I saw a post on Facebook that hurt me: my ex and Daniela's cousin appeared together, happy, and showing off their relationship.
It felt like a direct knife into my heart.
It felt like a direct knife to my heart.
Daniela knew everything.
Now, I understand that it was not a coincidence.
June 30, 2025
Hello! Thanks for your feedback! I really appreciate it and your comments are so helpful to me :D I will write the part 3 today hahahaha
Daniela would saidy that her cousin was "so beautiful" , and how I was an insecure teenager, I appropriated this jealous without noticed.
Daniela would say that her cousin was "so beautiful" , and how I was an insecure teenager, I appropriated this jealous without notice.
Iit felt a directlike a knife in my heart.
it felt like a knife in my heart.
June 30, 2025
Hello! Thank your for your feedback :D
Part 2: It Was Not a Coincidence
One day, I started to hate her cousin without a reason.
Daniela would saidy that her cousin was "so beautiful" , and howbecause I was an insecure teenager, I appropriated thisbegan feeling jealous without noticeding.
Daniela would say that her cousin was "so beautiful" , and because I was an insecure teenager, I began feeling jealous without noticing.
Either "would say" or "said" could work here; it just depends on if she said it more than once. I think you mean that you felt jealous because you were an adolescent and didn't really understand your feelings, not that your friend would tell you with words that you were insecure?
AfLater, I had a boyfriend for two months.
Later, I had a boyfriend for two months.
Could say "later" or "afterward".
We didn't share a lot of time together, but I got my hopes up. We didn't share a lot of time together, but I got my hopes up.
Add "together" for this to be clearer.
When we ended our relationship, I watchedsaw a Facebook post that hurt me: my ex and Daniela's cousin appeared together, happy, and showing off their relationship.
When we ended our relationship, I saw a Facebook post that hurt me: my ex and Daniela's cousin appeared together, happy, and showing off their relationship.
Would say "saw" rather than "watched" because a social media post is something brief. If you say "showing off," it would be more like "presumir" or "exhibir" instead of "mostrar," which might be more what you mean because of how people use social media to brag.
I felt a direct knife in my heart.
Daniela knew everything.
Now, I understand that it was not a coincidence.
Feedback
Well-written story! Between part I and II, I really felt it when you were betrayed by not just one, but two important people in your life. Just some small adjustments to clarify meaning. Good use of phrases like "knife in my heart," and interesting to learn Colombian slang.
June 30, 2025
Hello! I'm trying to write an interesting story hahaha I going to write the next part today. I like to write using Colombian words.
And a really appreciate your feedback, it is really helpful to me :D
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Daniela knew everything. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Now, I understand that it was not a coincidence. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Part 2: It Was Not a Casuality |
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One day, I started to hate her cousin without a reason. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Daniela would said that her cousin was "so beautiful" , and how I was an insecure teenager, I appropriated this jealous without noticed.
Daniela would sa Either "would say" or "said" could work here; it just depends on if she said it more than once. I think you mean that you felt jealous because you were an adolescent and didn't really understand your feelings, not that your friend would tell you with words that you were insecure?
Daniela would sa
Daniela would sa |
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After, I had a boyfriend for two months.
Could say "later" or "afterward".
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We didn't share a lot of time, but I got my hopes up. We didn't share a lot of time together, but I got my hopes up. We didn't share a lot of time together, but I got my hopes up. Add "together" for this to be clearer.
We didn't s |
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When we ended our relationship, I watched a Facebook post that hurt me: my ex and Daniela's cousin appeared together, happy, and showing their relationship.
When we ended our relationship, I Would say "saw" rather than "watched" because a social media post is something brief. If you say "showing off," it would be more like "presumir" or "exhibir" instead of "mostrar," which might be more what you mean because of how people use social media to brag.
When we ended our relationship, I |
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I felt a direct knife in my heart. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
It felt like a direct knife |
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