alexwong2164's avatar
alexwong2164

Feb. 2, 2021

0
Just ask me

Just talk a new friend from internet.

This afternoon she went out (Japan) for lunch.

By the way, I am live outside Japan.

Thanks to her, internet and smartphone…

Thanks to her she go this place and told me exactly what happen in real time.

Just like many other places, many shops are closed due the virus impact.

She went to a restaurant and have a lunch.

Thanks to her high quality smartphone, the pictures especially about foods are look so beautiful.

Thanks to the internet she sends more than 10 pictures to me without any time delay.

Hey, if you wants to know what happen to my town.

Just ask me.

Corrections

Just talked to a new friend from the internet.

This afternoon she went out (Japan) for lunch in Japan.

I think it is unclear what you meant by (Japan), so I changed it to mean this person is in Japan, and went out to eat. The other interpretation might have been she went out to eat Japanese food, but not necessarily in Japan, just at a Japanese restaurant.

By the way, I am liveing outside Japan.

Thanks to her, internet and smartphone…

I think this should be included in the next sentence,

Thanks to her she gthe internet and her smartphone, she got to this place and told me exactly what happened in real time.

Just like many other places, manylots of shops are closed due the virus impact of the virus.

I will note most English sources refer to the current pandemic causing virus as either COVID19, COVID, or sometimes but less correctly, coronavirus. In that case the correction might be:

Just like many other places, lots of shops are closed due the impact of COVID.

There's also a stylistic change, where I made the second many into "lots of" because I wanted to avoid repeating the word "many", but that is not a grammar error, just a preference.

She went to a restaurant and have ad lunch.

Thanks to her high quality smartphone, the pictures, especially the ones about foods are look so, were very beautiful.

Thanks to the internet she sendst more than 10 pictures to me without any time delay.

Hey, if you wants to know what happen tos in my town.

Just ask me.

Feedback

Overall, good essay. I think I noticed a trend of mistakes relating to putting words in the correct tense. Most of the time when recounting past events, keep things in past tense, and use present tense only for things in the present. It can be tricky for diary entries, because you usually use present tense for the things you are thinking about while you write the entry, but should use past tense for when you are describing what has already happened.

Just ask me


Just talk a new friend from internet.


Just talked to a new friend from the internet.

This afternoon she went out (Japan) for lunch.


This afternoon she went out (Japan) for lunch in Japan.

I think it is unclear what you meant by (Japan), so I changed it to mean this person is in Japan, and went out to eat. The other interpretation might have been she went out to eat Japanese food, but not necessarily in Japan, just at a Japanese restaurant.

By the way, I am live outside Japan.


By the way, I am liveing outside Japan.

Thanks to her, internet and smartphone…


Thanks to her, internet and smartphone…

I think this should be included in the next sentence,

Thanks to her she go this place and told me exactly what happen in real time.


Thanks to her she gthe internet and her smartphone, she got to this place and told me exactly what happened in real time.

Just like many other places, many shops are closed due the virus impact.


Just like many other places, manylots of shops are closed due the virus impact of the virus.

I will note most English sources refer to the current pandemic causing virus as either COVID19, COVID, or sometimes but less correctly, coronavirus. In that case the correction might be: Just like many other places, lots of shops are closed due the impact of COVID. There's also a stylistic change, where I made the second many into "lots of" because I wanted to avoid repeating the word "many", but that is not a grammar error, just a preference.

She went to a restaurant and have a lunch.


She went to a restaurant and have ad lunch.

Thanks to her high quality smartphone, the pictures especially about foods are look so beautiful.


Thanks to her high quality smartphone, the pictures, especially the ones about foods are look so, were very beautiful.

Thanks to the internet she sends more than 10 pictures to me without any time delay.


Thanks to the internet she sendst more than 10 pictures to me without any time delay.

Hey, if you wants to know what happen to my town.


Hey, if you wants to know what happen tos in my town.

Just ask me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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