June 24, 2022
Journal
The first time I took a public bus was when I graduated from middle school to go to my county seat to take the high school entrance exam.
My hometown is 35 kilometers away from the county seat. There were only two buses a day that went to the county seat. One bus departed in the morning, and the other departed in the afternoon.
The road conditions were bad. They were paved with brick slag and gravel, and there were many potholes in them. Today, the whole trip, but back then, it took almost two hours. Overloading the bus was strictly prohibited, so when my classmates and I went to the county seat to take the high school entrance exam, our school chartered four buses for us.
If I hadn’t taken the high school entrance exam, I don't know when I would have had the chance to take a bus.
Journal
The first time I took a public bus was when I graduated from middle school to go to my county seat to take the high school entrance exam.
My hometown is 35 kilometers away from theis county seat.
There were only two buses a day that went to the county seat.here.
One bus departed in the morning, and the other departed in the afternoon.
The road conditions were bad.
They were paved with brick slag and gravel, and there were many potholes in them.
Today, the whole triptrip is quick, but back then, it took almost two hours.
Overloading the bus was strictly prohibited, so when my classmates and I went to the county seat to take the high school entrance exam, our school chartered four buses for us.
I made it shorter to avoid repeating county seat.
If I hadn’t taken the high school entrance exam, I don't know when I would have had the chance to take a bus.
June 25, 2022
Thank you very much.
Journal
The first time I took a public bus was when I graduated from middle school to go to my county seat to take the high school entrance exam.
My hometown iwas 35 kilometers away from the county seat.
You were just talking in the past tense so stick to this tense, even though the information may still be relevant now/in the present
There were only two buses a day that went to the county seat.
One bus departed in the morning, and the other departed in the afternoon.
The road conditions were bad.
They were paved with brick slag and gravel, and there were many potholes in them.
'brick slag' - what is this?
'in them' is unneeded here
Today, the whole trip, but back then, it took almost two hours.
This sentence does not make grammatical sense.
Are you trying to say something along the lines of: "It would take the entire day to get there today but back then, it took almost two hours."?
Overloading the bus was strictly prohibited, so when my classmates and I went to the county seat to take the high school entrance exam, our school chartered four buses for us.
If I hadn’t taken the high school entrance exam, I don't know when I would have had the chance to take a bus.
Feedback
Well done! Not so many mistakes this time, just issues with tenses but it's good practice! Keep it up
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Journal This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The first time I took a public bus was when I graduated from middle school to go to my county seat to take the high school entrance exam. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My hometown is 35 kilometers away from the county seat. My hometown You were just talking in the past tense so stick to this tense, even though the information may still be relevant now/in the present My hometown is 35 kilometers away from th |
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There were only two buses a day to go to the county seat. |
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One bus departed in the morning, and the other departed in the afternoon. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The road conditions were bad. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
They were paved with brick slag and gravel, and there were many potholes on them. |
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If it was nowadays, the whole trip would only take one hour. |
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Back then, it took almost two hours. |
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Overload was strictly prohibited. |
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When my classmates and I went to the county to take the high school entrance exam, our school chartered four buses for us. |
|
If I didn't take the high school entrance examination, I don't know when I could get the chance to take a bus. |
|
There were only two buses a day that went to the county seat. This sentence has been marked as perfect! There were only two buses a day that went t |
|
They were paved with brick slag and gravel, and there were many potholes in them. They were paved with brick 'brick slag' - what is this? 'in them' is unneeded here They were paved with brick slag and gravel, and there were many potholes |
|
Today, the whole trip, but back then, it took almost two hours. Today, the whole trip, but back then, it took almost two hours. This sentence does not make grammatical sense. Are you trying to say something along the lines of: "It would take the entire day to get there today but back then, it took almost two hours."? Today, the |
|
Overloading the bus was strictly prohibited, so when my classmates and I went to the county seat to take the high school entrance exam, our school chartered four buses for us. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Overloading the bus was strictly prohibited, so when my classmates and I went to I made it shorter to avoid repeating county seat. |
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If I hadn’t taken the high school entrance exam, I don't know when I would have had the chance to take a bus. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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