June 22, 2022
Journal
The apartment that I presently live in was built in 2012. It was not built by a commercial real estate company but rather a state-owned company.
My second oldest brother works for a tobacco company in my home county. The headquarters of his company is in the city I now live in, and it has eight branches which are located in several different nearby districts and counties.
That year, the leaders of the tobacco headquarters decided to build an apartment complex for the workers in the headquarters and the eight branches. The way to build the apartment complex is fund-raising cooperatively.
Therefore, the cost of the apartment is about half the price cheaper than those commercial apartments.
According to the policy set by his company, he could buy two apartments, but he had enough houses to live in, so he gave the eligibility to me.
Compared with other commercial complexes, the main characteristic of this complex is that it keeps a reasonable distance from downtown and has fewer buildings in it.
Therefore, no matter if you are in or out of the complex, you won't feel crowded and noisy, but rather peaceful and spacious.
In front of my apartment, is the headquarters' office which has no tall buildings, so I have a good view from my front windows and the wind on summer nights.
The streets around the complex also have fewer taller buildings, fewer cars and passengers. They are quiet and peaceful.
That is why I prefer living in this apartment.
Journal
The apartment that I presently live in was built in 2012.
It was not built by a commercial real estate company but rather a state-owned company.
My second oldest brother works for a tobacco company in my home county.
The headquarters of his company is in the city I now live in, and it has eight branches which are located in several different nearby districts and counties.
That year, the leaders of the tobacco headquarters decided to build an apartment complex for the workers in the headquarters and the eight branches.
The best (or decided-on?) way to build the apartment complex is fund-raising cooperatively.
Saying just way sounds a little bit funny to my ears
Therefore, the cost of the apartment is about half the price cheaper than those commercial apartments.
According to the policy set by his company, he could buy two apartments, but he had enough houses to live in, so he gave the eligibilitypermission to live in them (or ownership of them?) to me.
Compared with other commercial complexes, the main characteristic of this complex is that it keeps a reasonable distance from downtown and has fewer buildings in it.
Therefore, no matter if you are in or out of the complex, you won't feel that it is crowded andor noisy, but rather peaceful and spacious.
In front of my apartment, is the headquarters' office which has no tall buildings, so I have a good view from my front windows and can feel the wind on summer nights.
The streets around the complex also have fewer taller buildings, fewer cars, and fewer passengers.
They are quiet and peaceful.
That is why I prefer living in this apartment.
Feedback
Honestly I would nearly think you’re a native speaker
June 23, 2022
The best (or decided-on?) way to build the apartment complex is fund-raising cooperatively.
I wrote it wrong. “The apartments were built by raising money from the company’s employees”
June 23, 2022
According to the policy set by his company, he could buy two apartments, but he had enough houses to live in, so he gave the eligibilitypermission to live in them (or ownership of them?) to me.
He had the right to buy two apartments, but he didn’t buy. He passed the right to me, so I bought two apartments from his company.
June 23, 2022
Thank you for your encouragement. I will continue to work hard to make my writings look like they are written by a native English speaker.
June 23, 2022
The best (or decided-on?) way to build the apartment complex is fund-raising cooperatively.
The correct expression should be “the apartments were built by raising money from the employees in that tobacco company”
Journal
The apartment that I presently live in was built in 2012.
It was not built by a commercial real estate company, but rather by a state-owned company.
My second oldest brother works for a tobacco company in my home county.
The headquarters of his company is in the city I now live in, and it has eight branches which are located in several different nearby districts and counties.
The "which are" is not incorrect, but I feel this sentence flows better without it.
That year(?), the leaders of the tobacco headquarters decided to build an apartment complex for the workers in the headquarters and the eight branches.
Which year?
The way to build the apartment complex is fund-raising cooperativelyCooperative fundraising was used to secure the construction costs.
Therefore, the cost of those apartments is about half the price cheaper than thoseas much as commercial apartments.
According to the policy set by himy brother's company, he could buy two apartments, but he. However, he already had enough houses to live in, so he gave the eligibilpassed the benefity to me.
Compared with other commercial complexes, the main characteristic of this complex is that it keepis a reasonable distance from downtown and has fewer buildings in it.
Therefore, no matter if you are in or out of the complex, you won't feel as if it is crowded and noisy, but rather peaceful and spacious.
In front of my apartment, is the headquarters' office which. It has no tall buildings, so I have a good view from my front windows, and the wind comes through on summer nights.
The streets around the complex also have fewer taller buildings, and fewer cars and passengers.
They are quiet and peaceful.
That is why I preferlike living in this apartment.
I changed "prefer" to "like" because "prefer" is often used when comparing things. Even though you did talk a bit about more commercial apartments, I don't get a strong feeling of comparing, for example, your previous life in such buildings and your life in your current building.
June 22, 2022
That year(?), the leaders of the tobacco headquarters decided to build an apartment complex for the workers in the headquarters and the eight branches.
2012
June 22, 2022
That is why I preferlike living in this apartment.
When I used “prefer”, I was thinking about my other two apartments. But I didn’t mention them in this essay.
June 22, 2022
Thank you very much for correcting my journals.
The apartment that I presently live in was built in 2012. It was not built by a commercial real estate company, but rather by a state-owned company.
My second oldest brother works for a tobacco company in my home county. The headquarters of his company is in the city I now live in, and it has eight branches located in several different nearby districts and counties.
Back in 2012, the leaders of the tobacco headquarters decided to build an apartment complex for the workers in their company. Cooperative fundraising was used to secure the construction costs.
Therefore, the cost of those apartments is half as much as commercial apartments.
According to the police set by the headquarters of my brother’s company, he could buy two apartments. However, he already had enough houses to live in, so he passed the benefit to me.
Compared with other commercial complexes, the main characteristic of this complex is that it is a reasonable distance from downtown and has fewer buildings in it.
Therefore, no matter if you are in or out of the complex, you won't feel as if it is crowded and noisy, but rather peaceful and spacious.
In front of my apartment, is the headquarters' office. It has no tall buildings, so I have a good view from my front windows and the wind comes through on summer nights.
The streets around the complex also have fewer taller buildings, and fewer cars and passengers. They are quiet and peaceful.
That is why I like living in this apartment.
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Journal This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The apartment that I presently live in was built in 2012. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was not built by a commercial real estate company but rather a state-owned company. It was not built by a commercial real estate company, but rather by a state-owned company. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My second oldest brother works for a tobacco company in my home county. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The headquarters of his company is in the city I now live in, and it has eight branches which are located in several different nearby districts and counties. The headquarters of his company is in the city I now live in, and it has eight branches The "which are" is not incorrect, but I feel this sentence flows better without it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That year, the leaders of the tobacco headquarters decided to build an apartment complex for the workers in the headquarters and the eight branches. That year(?), the leaders of the tobacco headquarters decided to build an apartment complex for the workers in the headquarters and the eight branches. Which year? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The way to build the apartment complex is fund-raising cooperatively.
The best (or decided-on?) way to build the apartment complex is fund-raising cooperatively. Saying just way sounds a little bit funny to my ears |
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Therefore, the cost of the apartment is about half the price cheaper than those commercial apartments. Therefore, the cost of those apartments is about half This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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According to the policy set by his company, he could buy two apartments, but he had enough houses to live in, so he gave the eligibility to me. According to the policy set by According to the policy set by his company, he could buy two apartments, but he had enough houses to live in, so he gave |
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Compared with other commercial complexes, the main characteristic of this complex is that it keeps a reasonable distance from downtown and has fewer buildings in it. Compared with other commercial complexes, the main characteristic of this complex is that it This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Therefore, no matter if you are in or out of the complex, you won't feel crowded and noisy, but rather peaceful and spacious. Therefore, no matter if you are in or out of the complex, you won't feel as if it is crowded and noisy, but rather peaceful and spacious. Therefore, no matter if you are in or out of the complex, you won't feel that it is crowded |
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In front of my apartment, is the headquarters' office which has no tall buildings, so I have a good view from my front windows and the wind on summer nights. In front of my apartment In front of my apartment |
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The streets around the complex also have fewer taller buildings, fewer cars and passengers. The streets around the complex also have fewer taller buildings, and fewer cars and passengers. The streets around the complex also have fewer taller buildings, fewer cars, and fewer passengers. |
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They are quiet and peaceful. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That is why I prefer living in this apartment. That is why I I changed "prefer" to "like" because "prefer" is often used when comparing things. Even though you did talk a bit about more commercial apartments, I don't get a strong feeling of comparing, for example, your previous life in such buildings and your life in your current building. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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