June 7, 2022
Journal
Sleep Outside
When I was a child, the happiest time would be during summer nights.
The wheat harvesting season in my area is usually at the end of May or the beginning of June. Before then, villagers need to build threshing ground to thresh wheat.
At that time, it was already summer and the temperature would be 20 to 35 degrees Celsius.
The threshing ground was already done and the weather was hot so our "camping time" started.
The reed mats were very popular back then (this stuff was made of reed used for sleeping on).
Every night, other children and I would automatically go to the threshing ground with the reed mats on our heads and quilts under our armpits.
We would talk with each other about whatever we would know. But usually, it was that the order children tell old stories that they heard from their parents or the legends about the stars that they saw in the sky to young children. We often didn't know when we fell asleep.
Sometimes, we would hear a generator's voice and we would be very excited because it meant that some villages were playing movies. Then we would walk towards where the sound was from and get to watch movies.
Usually, after the movie, it was already midnight, so we often stayed up late.
The benefits of sleeping in the fields were that we could have a lot of fun and enjoy the cool. The drawbacks of it were that we had to suffer the mosquitoes and wake up early.
When I was a child, the happiest time would be during summer nightsummer nights were the happiest times.
"times" and "nights" should agree and both be plural.
Before then, the villagers need to build a/the threshing ground to thresh wheat.
these sound better with articles since you are referring to specific place/people.
The reed mats were very popular back then (this stuff waese things were mats made of reed used for sleeping on).
stuff is noncount; it should agree with mats which is plural. I took out on because it is not correct to end a sentence with a preposition.
Every night, other children and I would automaticallylways go to the threshing ground with the reed mats on our heads and quilts under our armpits.
It's not wrong but automatically sounds a bit strange here... like you are robots
We would talk with each other about whatever we would knoew.
But usually, it was that the orlder children tell old stories that they heard from their parents or the legends about the stars that they saw in the sky to the young children.
Sometimes, we would hear the sound of a generator's voice and we would be very excited because it meant that some villages were playing movies.
Then we would walk towards where the sound was coming from and get to watch movies.
Feedback
Nice text, I enjoyed reading about your experience and like your description.
June 7, 2022
Thank you very much.
Sleeping Outside
When I was a child, I would have the happiest time would be during summer nights.
At that time of year, it wais already summer and the temperature would beis usually between 20 to 35 degrees Celsius.
Since the temperature hasn't changed until today, I would use the present tense
TOnce the threshing ground was already done and the weather wasdone, the temperature would be so hot sothat our "camping time" startedwould begin.
The rReed mats for sleeping were very popular back then (this stuff was made of reed used for sleeping on).
I don't think you need to include all the information in the brackets as most people would automatically understand what you mean by reed mats, so I've helped to shorten it slightly.
Every night, the other children and I would automatically go to the threshing ground with the reed mats on our heads and quilts under our armpits.
'Automatically' doesn't quite work in this situation
We would talk with each other about whatever we would knowsubjects we had on our minds.
I understand what you mean, but this might be a better way to say it
But usually, it was that the orlder children tell oldwould tell the younger children stories that they had heard from their parents or the legends about the stars that they saw in the sky to young children.
Then we would walk towards where the sound was coming from and get to watch movies.
The benefits of sleeping in the fields were that we could have a lot of fun and enjoy the cool air.
Feedback
Really well-written and I enjoyed reading about your childhood sleeping in the fields! You describe it beautifully.
June 7, 2022
Thank you very much.
Sleep Outside
When I was a child, I would have the happiest time during summer nights.
The wheat harvesting season in my area is usually at the end of May or the beginning of June. Before then, villagers need to build threshing ground to thresh wheat.
At that time of year, it is already summer and the temperature is usually between 20 to 35 degrees Celsius.
Once the threshing ground was done, the temperature would be so hot that our "camping time" would begin.
Reed mats were very popular for sleeping back then.
Every night, the other children and I would go to the threshing ground with the reed mats on our heads and quilts under our armpits.
We would talk with each other about whatever subjects we had on our minds. But usually, the older children would tell the younger children stories that they had heard from their parents or legends about the stars that they saw in the sky. We often didn't know when we fell asleep.
Sometimes, we would hear a generator's voice and we would be very excited because it meant that some villages were playing movies. Then we would walk towards where the sound was coming from and get to watch movies.
Usually, after the movie, it was already midnight, so we often stayed up late.
The benefits of sleeping in the fields were that we could have a lot of fun and enjoy the cool air. The drawbacks of it were that we had to suffer the mosquitoes and wake up early.
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Journal |
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Sleep Outside Sleeping Outside |
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When I was a child, the happiest time would be during summer nights. When I was a child, I would have the happiest time When I was a child, "times" and "nights" should agree and both be plural. |
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The wheat harvesting season in my area is usually at the end of May or the beginning of June. |
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Before then, villagers need to build threshing ground to thresh wheat. Before then, the villagers need to build a/the threshing ground to thresh wheat. these sound better with articles since you are referring to specific place/people. |
|
At that time, it was already summer and the temperature would be 20 to 35 degrees Celsius. At that time of year, it Since the temperature hasn't changed until today, I would use the present tense |
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The threshing ground was already done and the weather was hot so our "camping time" started.
|
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The reed mats were very popular back then (this stuff was made of reed used for sleeping on).
I don't think you need to include all the information in the brackets as most people would automatically understand what you mean by reed mats, so I've helped to shorten it slightly. The reed mats were very popular back then (th stuff is noncount; it should agree with mats which is plural. I took out on because it is not correct to end a sentence with a preposition. |
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Every night, other children and I would automatically go to the threshing ground with the reed mats on our heads and quilts under our armpits. Every night, the other children and I would 'Automatically' doesn't quite work in this situation Every night, other children and I would a It's not wrong but automatically sounds a bit strange here... like you are robots |
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We would talk with each other about whatever we would know. We would talk with each other about whatever I understand what you mean, but this might be a better way to say it We would talk with each other about whatever we |
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But usually, it was that the order children tell old stories that they heard from their parents or the legends about the stars that they saw in the sky to young children. But usually, But usually, it was that the o |
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We often didn't know when we fell asleep. |
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Sometimes, we would hear a generator's voice and we would be very excited because it meant that some villages were playing movies. Sometimes, we would hear the sound of a generator |
|
Then we would walk towards where the sound was from and get to watch movies. Then we would walk towards where the sound was coming from and get to watch movies. Then we would walk towards where the sound was coming from and get to watch movies. |
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Usually, after the movie, it was already midnight, so we often stayed up late. |
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The benefits of sleeping in the fields were that we could have a lot of fun and enjoy the cool. The benefits of sleeping in the fields were that we could have a lot of fun and enjoy the cool air. |
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The drawbacks of it were that we had to suffer the mosquitoes and wake up early. |
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