Jack's avatar
Jack

Sept. 4, 2021

0
Journal

Although many years have passed, I can still remember those days in early autumn when I was a teenager. Every morning when you get up and go out on the fields, you feel a little cold if you are not wearing enough clothes, so every time I think of autumn, the first impression that comes to my mind is cold. At that time, my village planted a lot of sweet potatoes each year and I grew up eating sweet potatoes. The harvest season of sweet potatoes was in autumn, in the middle of October. Farmers use one or two cows pulling a plow to dig potatoes out. We followed the plow and put sweet potatoes in our baskets. If we were hungry, we could eat it directly after rubbing the mud off. We can also eat sweet potatoes after burning them on the fields. Every year, we find some of the biggest sweet potatoes and many villagers come to see the sweet potatoes. Many years have passed, my villagers no longer plant sweet potatoes because nowadays they don't have to take sweet potatoes as their main food. They have many other decent foods already, for instance, wheat, rice and so on. If we want to eat sweet potatoes today, we have to buy them in some food stores. And sweet potatoes today are sweeter than the old ones.

Corrections

Journal

Although many years have passed, I can still remember those days in early autumn when I was a teenager.

Every morning when youI geot up and gowent out ton the fields, youI feelt a little cold if you aI were not wearing enough clothes, so every time I think of autumn, the first impressionmemory that comes to my mind is the cold.

You could use the impersonal "you" here, but I think it would make more sense stylistically to stick with the first person (hence my edits).

Impression isn't quite the right word here.

At that time, my village planted a lot of sweet potatoes each year, and I grew up eating sweet potatoes.

Or "so I grew up eating sweet potatoes."

The harvest season of sweet potatoes was in autumn, in the middle of October.

Farmers used one or two cows pulling a plow to dig potatoes out.

We followed the plow and put sweet potatoes in our baskets.

If we were hungry, we could eat it directthem immediately after rubbing the mud off.

We canould also eat sweet potatoes after burning them oin the fields.

I'm not sure if "burning" is what you mean - if you're talking about food, burning means that you've cooked them until they're completely black on the outside and not very good to eat. Maybe just "cooking?"

Every year, we fiound some of the biggest sweet potatoes, and many villagers coame to see the sweet potatoesm.

Many years have passed, my v since then. Villagers no longer plant sweet potatoes because nowadays they don't have to take sweet potatoes as their main food.

"My villagers" sounds a bit weird - like you own the villagers.
"because nowadays they don't have to take sweet potatoes as their main food" is correct but rather clunky. If you want to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary, you could write, "because sweet potatoes are no longer a staple of their diets."

Staple = a main or important element of something, especially of a diet.

They have many other decent foods already, for instanceincluding, wheat, rice and so on.

If we want to eat sweet potatoes today, we have to buy them in some food stores.

"Some" isn't technically incorrect, but it sounds odd/clunky.

And sweet potatoes today are sweeter than the old ones.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Sept. 9, 2021

0

We canould also eat sweet potatoes after burning them oin the fields.

In Chinese we call it 烧红薯. The process was: dug a small ditch in the fields first, then put some sweet potatoes on the ditch, then find and light some crop straw to roast those sweet potatoes. Of course, we would turn the sweet potatoes back and forth. (or up and down? Sorry I didn’t know how to describe that movement) yes, when the outside of the sweet potatoes turned dark and we thought it was almost done (based on our experience), we stopped burning and pushed all the sweet potatoes into the ditch and covered them with the soil that just dug out from the ditch. Maintained this state for 20 minutes or so, then dug the sweet potatoes out and ate them. It was very delicious. Every time I think of that, I always feel happy and it’s the most beautiful memory when I think of my childhood.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Sept. 9, 2021

0

Thank you very much for correcting my journal.

Journal


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Although many years have passed, I can still remember those days in early autumn when I was a teenager.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Every morning when you get up and go out on the fields, you feel a little cold if you are not wearing enough clothes, so every time I think of autumn, the first impression that comes to my mind is cold.


Every morning when youI geot up and gowent out ton the fields, youI feelt a little cold if you aI were not wearing enough clothes, so every time I think of autumn, the first impressionmemory that comes to my mind is the cold.

You could use the impersonal "you" here, but I think it would make more sense stylistically to stick with the first person (hence my edits). Impression isn't quite the right word here.

At that time, my village planted a lot of sweet potatoes each year and I grew up eating sweet potatoes.


At that time, my village planted a lot of sweet potatoes each year, and I grew up eating sweet potatoes.

Or "so I grew up eating sweet potatoes."

The harvest season of sweet potatoes was in autumn, in the middle of October.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Farmers use one or two cows pulling a plow to dig potatoes out.


Farmers used one or two cows pulling a plow to dig potatoes out.

We followed the plow and put sweet potatoes in our baskets.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

If we were hungry, we could eat it directly after rubbing the mud off.


If we were hungry, we could eat it directthem immediately after rubbing the mud off.

We can also eat sweet potatoes after burning them on the fields.


We canould also eat sweet potatoes after burning them oin the fields.

I'm not sure if "burning" is what you mean - if you're talking about food, burning means that you've cooked them until they're completely black on the outside and not very good to eat. Maybe just "cooking?"

Every year, we find some of the biggest sweet potatoes and many villagers come to see the sweet potatoes.


Every year, we fiound some of the biggest sweet potatoes, and many villagers coame to see the sweet potatoesm.

Many years have passed, my villagers no longer plant sweet potatoes because nowadays they don't have to take sweet potatoes as their main food.


Many years have passed, my v since then. Villagers no longer plant sweet potatoes because nowadays they don't have to take sweet potatoes as their main food.

"My villagers" sounds a bit weird - like you own the villagers. "because nowadays they don't have to take sweet potatoes as their main food" is correct but rather clunky. If you want to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary, you could write, "because sweet potatoes are no longer a staple of their diets." Staple = a main or important element of something, especially of a diet.

They have many other decent foods already, for instance, wheat, rice and so on.


They have many other decent foods already, for instanceincluding, wheat, rice and so on.

If we want to eat sweet potatoes today, we have to buy them in some food stores.


If we want to eat sweet potatoes today, we have to buy them in some food stores.

"Some" isn't technically incorrect, but it sounds odd/clunky.

And sweet potatoes today are sweeter than the old ones.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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