Aug. 25, 2021
Journal
Shangri-La is located in the northwest part of Yunnan Province, more than 2500 kilometers away from my city, which is a plateau Tibetan area. There are many snow capped mountains, and the scenery is very beautiful.
China has many glaciers and they are mainly concentrated on the Qinghai-Tibet plateau, which is also the birthplace of the Yangtze, Yellow and Lancang rivers.
It's early autumn in my place. The temperature is moderate and very comfortable. Spring and autumn are the two most comfortable seasons here.
Yes, not long ago, Zhengzhou in Henan province suffered a heavy rainfall that was unprecedented in a century, and it's said the amount of rainfall pouring down in just a few hours is equivalent to the annual Zhengzhou rainfall. This flood caused the subway to flood and the tunnel was submerged, resulting in the deaths of more than 300 people. Currently, the investigation team sent by the State Council is conducting a further investigation into this incident in Zhengzhou city.
Like the wildfire in Canada, I don't know why, extreme weather disasters have been particularly frequent in recent years.
I suddenly remembered that I went to the Yulong snow mountain when I visited Yunnan last time. I will send some pictures of it later.
Journal
Shangri-La is located in the northwestern part of the Yunnan Province, more than 2500 kilometers away from my city, which is a plateau Tibetan area.
There are many snow capped mountains, and the scenery is very beautiful.
China has many glaciers and they are mainly concentrated on the Qinghai-Tibet plateau, which is also the birthplace of the Yangtze, Yellow and Lancang rivers.
It's early autumn in my placwhere I live.
"In my place" sounds unnatural when describing your geographical location.
The temperature is moderate and very comfortable.
Spring and autumn are the two most comfortable seasons here.
Yes, nNot long ago, Zhengzhou in the Henan province suffered a heavy rainfall that was unprecedented in athe past century, and i. It's said the amount of rainfall that pouringed down in just a few hours iwas equivalent to the annual Zhengzhou rainfall.
It's better to keep the tense consistent since you initially describe what happened in the past tense ("Zhengzhou in the Henan province suffered...").
This floode intense rain caused the subway to flood and the tunnel was submerged, resulting in the deaths of more than 300 people.
It sounds a bit better to reword one of the uses of "flood" here so as to not be repetitive.
Like the wildfire in Canada, I don't know why, extreme weather disasters have been particularly frequent in recent years.
No need for a comma here.
This sounds ok how it is, but something more natural sounding might be: "Along with the wildfire in Canada, extreme weather disasters seem to have been particularly frequent in recent years and I don't know why."
I suddenly remembered that I went to the Yulong snow mountain when I visited Yunnan last time.
I will send some pictures of it later.
Feedback
Well written! The Zhengzhou flooding is sad to hear about. China and Southeast Asia sound very beautiful, I'd love to go there some day.
Aug. 25, 2021
Thank you for correcting me. Welcome to China and Southeast Asia.
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Journal This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Shangri-La is located in the northwest part of Yunnan Province, more than 2500 kilometers away from my city, which is a plateau Tibetan area. Shangri-La is located in the northwestern part of the Yunnan Province, more than 2500 kilometers away from my city, which is a plateau Tibetan area. |
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There are many snow capped mountains, and the scenery is very beautiful. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
China has many glaciers and they are mainly concentrated on the Qinghai-Tibet plateau, which is also the birthplace of the Yangtze, Yellow and Lancang rivers. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It's early autumn in my place. It's early autumn "In my place" sounds unnatural when describing your geographical location. |
|
The temperature is moderate and very comfortable. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Spring and autumn are the two most comfortable seasons here. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Yes, not long ago, Zhengzhou in Henan province suffered a heavy rainfall that was unprecedented in a century, and it's said the amount of rainfall pouring down in just a few hours is equivalent to the annual Zhengzhou rainfall.
It's better to keep the tense consistent since you initially describe what happened in the past tense ("Zhengzhou in the Henan province suffered..."). |
|
This flood caused the subway to flood and the tunnel was submerged, resulting in the deaths of more than 300 people. Th It sounds a bit better to reword one of the uses of "flood" here so as to not be repetitive. |
|
Currently, the investigation team sent by the State Council is conducting a further investigation into this incident in Zhengzhou city. |
|
Like the wildfire in Canada, I don't know why, extreme weather disasters have been particularly frequent in recent years. Like the wildfire in Canada, I don't know why No need for a comma here. This sounds ok how it is, but something more natural sounding might be: "Along with the wildfire in Canada, extreme weather disasters seem to have been particularly frequent in recent years and I don't know why." |
|
I suddenly remembered that I went to the Yulong snow mountain when I visited Yunnan last time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I will send some pictures of it later. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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