Dec. 12, 2020
Journal 22/22/20
I want to share with you guys the house I lived in during my childhood. The countryside living conditions were very bad then, and people living in rural areas lived in poverty. Every family generally had three main rooms and two wing rooms. The three main rooms faced south and the two wing rooms faced east or west. At the beginning of building a house, people dug the foundation first, and the foundation was about thirty centimeters deep. Then built the foundation with bricks until it was thirty centimeters above the ground. Then continue to build up with adobe. The beams and tans were all made of thick or thin trees in the countryside. The rafters were made of bamboo. Then spread the foil (which was made of sorghum stalk) on the rafters. The last step was spreading the wheat straw on the foil. Now the house is done. Before the early eighties, people in the countryside in the northern part of Anhui Provence all lived in this kind of house. The only modern construction material was the bricks.
Journal 22/22/20
I want to share with you guys the house I lived in during my childhood.
The countryside living conditionsLiving conditions in the countryside then were very bad then, and people living in rural areas lived in poverty.
“People living in rural areas” is fine, but the repetition of “living” should be avoided. It’s understood anyway that you are probably referring to people who lived there and not to something else.
Every family generally had three main rooms and two wing rooms.
The three main rooms faced south and the two wing rooms faced east or west.
At the beginning of buildingWhen construction on a house began, people dug the foundation first, and the foundation wasould be about thirty centimeters deep.
Then they would builtd the foundation with bricks until it was thirty centimeters above the ground.
You need a subject, since you’re not giving these steps as a list of instructions.
Theny would continue to build upwards with adobe.
“Then” is grammatical but sounds repetitive.
The beams and tans were all made of trees, thick or thin trees in, from the countryside.
More elegant wording.
The rafters were made of bamboo.
Then spread, the foil (which was made of sorghum stalk) would be spread on the rafters.
The last step was spreading the wheat straw on the foil.
Now the house iswould be done.
Before the early eighties, people in the countryside in the northern part of Anhui Proveince all lived in this kind of house.
The only modern construction material was the bricks.
Feedback
The explanations for why I changed the tense and added subjects to the sentences where you listed the steps is similar to those that I wrote recently for your journal about childhood games.
Dec. 20, 2020
Thank you very much. I will review those grammatical points.
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Journal 22/22/20 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I want to share with you guys the house I lived in during my childhood. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The countryside living conditions were very bad then, and people living in rural areas lived in poverty.
“People living in rural areas” is fine, but the repetition of “living” should be avoided. It’s understood anyway that you are probably referring to people who lived there and not to something else. |
|
Every family generally had three main rooms and two wing rooms. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The three main rooms faced south and the two wing rooms faced east or west. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
At the beginning of building a house, people dug the foundation first, and the foundation was about thirty centimeters deep.
|
|
Then built the foundation with bricks until it was thirty centimeters above the ground. Then they would buil You need a subject, since you’re not giving these steps as a list of instructions. |
|
Then continue to build up with adobe. The “Then” is grammatical but sounds repetitive. |
|
The beams and tans were all made of thick or thin trees in the countryside. The beams and tans were all made of trees, thick or thin More elegant wording. |
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The rafters were made of bamboo. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Then spread the foil (which was made of sorghum stalk) on the rafters. Then |
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The last step was spreading the wheat straw on the foil. The last step was spreading |
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Now the house is done. Now the house |
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Before the early eighties, people in the countryside in the northern part of Anhui Provence all lived in this kind of house. Before the early eighties, people in the countryside in the northern part of Anhui Prov |
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The only modern construction material was the bricks. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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