Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 23, 2020

0
Journal 10/23/20

This afternoon, I went to the Apple service to check my phone because it had bad signals. It was almost 5 pm when I arrived. A young female server greeted me. I told her about the problems with my phone briefly. Afterwards, an engineer took my phone in a testing equipment and connected the equipment with a computer to check out. About thirty minutes passed, they told me that the phone didn’t have any problems and suggested that I change to a new phone card. The China mobile service center will get off work at 6pm. I had to get there before 6pm. I went to the service center in a hurry. When I arrived at the center, I immediately got the phone card changed. I don't know if there are any bad signal problems caused by the phone card. I think it is just a possibility. I will observe it for the next few days.

Corrections

Journal 10/23/20

This afternoon, I went to the Apple service center to check my phone because it had bad signals.

It was almost 5 pm when I arrived.

A young female servertechnician greeted me.

If you meant 服務員, note that the phrase only translates to "server" only in the context of a restaurant.

I briefly told her about the problems with my phone briefly.

Afterwards, an engineer took my phone in a, placed it into some testing equipment and connected the equipment with a computer to check it out.

After about thirty minutes had passed, they told me that the phone didn’t have any problems and suggested that I change to a new phone card.

The China mMobile service center will get off workcloses at 6pm.

I had to get there before 6pm.

I went to the service center in a hurry.

When I arrived at the center, I immediately got the phone card changed.

"Had the phone card changed" may be slightly better, but this is fine.

I don't know if there are any bad signal problems caused by the phone card.

I think it is just a possibility.

I will observepay attention to it fover the next few days.

profitendieu's avatar
profitendieu

Oct. 26, 2020

0

When I arrived at the center, I immediately got the phone card changed.

"Got the phone card changed" and "changed the phone card" aren't quite the same. "Got" implies that someone changed the phone card for the narrator, while "changed" by itself suggests that the narrator himself was the agent: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/get

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 26, 2020

0

A young female servertechnician greeted me.

Thank you very much. I got the difference between the two words.

It was almost 5 pm when I arrived.

A young female server greeted me.

I briefly told her about the problems with my phone briefly.

Afterwards, an engineer tookconnected my phone in ato some testing equipment and connected the equipment with a computer to check out.

After about thirty minutes passed, they told me that the phone didn’t have any problems and suggested that I change to a new phone card.

The China mobile service center will get off workcloses at 6pm.

I had to get there before 6pm.

I went to the service center in a hurry.

I will observemonitor it fover the next few days.

Feedback

So of your sentences are pretty short. Consider using connecting words between them to create a more fluent reading experience!

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 24, 2020

0

Thank you for your corrections thank you very much.

It was almost 5 pm when I arrived.

A young female server greeted me.

I told her briefly about the problems with my phone briefly.

Afterwards, an engineer took my phone and placed it in a testing equipment, and then connected the equipment with a computer to check it out.

The China mobile service center will get off workould close at 6pm.

People get off work at a certain time, businesses close at a certain time.

I had to get there before 6pm.

I went to the service center in a hurry.

When I arrived at the center, I immediately gotchanged the phone card changed.

I don't know if there are any bad signal problems caused by the phone card.

I think it is just a possibility.

I will observe it for the next few days.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 24, 2020

0

Thank you very much.

profitendieu's avatar
profitendieu

Oct. 26, 2020

0

When I arrived at the center, I immediately gotchanged the phone card changed.

"Got the phone card changed" and "changed the phone card" aren't quite the same. "Got" implies that someone changed the phone card for the narrator, while "changed" by itself suggests that the narrator himself was the agent: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/get

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 26, 2020

0

"Got the phone card changed" and "changed the phone card" aren't quite the same. "Got" implies that someone changed the phone card for the narrator, while "changed" by itself suggests that the narrator himself was the agent: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/get

I got it. Thank you very much.

Journal 10/23/20


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This afternoon, I went to the Apple service to check my phone because it had bad signals.


This afternoon, I went to the Apple service center to check my phone because it had bad signals.

It was almost 5 pm when I arrived.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It was almost 5 pm when I arrived.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A young female server greeted me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A young female servertechnician greeted me.

If you meant 服務員, note that the phrase only translates to "server" only in the context of a restaurant.

I told her about the problems with my phone briefly.


I told her briefly about the problems with my phone briefly.

I briefly told her about the problems with my phone briefly.

I briefly told her about the problems with my phone briefly.

Afterwards, an engineer took my phone in a testing equipment and connected the equipment with a computer to check out.


Afterwards, an engineer took my phone and placed it in a testing equipment, and then connected the equipment with a computer to check it out.

Afterwards, an engineer tookconnected my phone in ato some testing equipment and connected the equipment with a computer to check out.

Afterwards, an engineer took my phone in a, placed it into some testing equipment and connected the equipment with a computer to check it out.

About thirty minutes passed, they told me that the phone didn’t have any problems and suggested that I change to a new phone card.


After about thirty minutes passed, they told me that the phone didn’t have any problems and suggested that I change to a new phone card.

After about thirty minutes had passed, they told me that the phone didn’t have any problems and suggested that I change to a new phone card.

The China mobile service center will get off work at 6pm.


The China mobile service center will get off workould close at 6pm.

People get off work at a certain time, businesses close at a certain time.

The China mobile service center will get off workcloses at 6pm.

The China mMobile service center will get off workcloses at 6pm.

I had to get there before 6pm.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I went to the service center in a hurry.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

When I arrived at the center, I immediately got the phone card changed.


When I arrived at the center, I immediately gotchanged the phone card changed.

When I arrived at the center, I immediately got the phone card changed.

"Had the phone card changed" may be slightly better, but this is fine.

I don't know if there are any bad signal problems caused by the phone card.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I think it is just a possibility.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I will observe it for the next few days.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I will observemonitor it fover the next few days.

I will observepay attention to it fover the next few days.

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