Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 19, 2020

0
Journal 10/19/20

When I was a child, every family raised chickens like this, and so did we children grow up. Grew up naturally, not afraid of the winds and rain.

Corrections

When I was a child, every family raised chickens like this, and so did we, and this helped us children to grow up.

This is a bit confusing: "like this" makes it sound like you're referring back to something you've said already.

"...and so did we children grow up" sounds poetic but is a bit hard to interpret - if you mean that raising the chickens helped you to grow up then you could use the suggestion I've made!

GWe grew up naturally, not afraid of the winds and rain.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 19, 2020

0

I came to the countryside today and see that they raised chickens in fields. No workshop, no feed, just put the chickens in orchard. The chickens mainly eat grass and a few leftovers and can go everywhere freely. I thought when I was a child, I was growing up in the way of those chickens. So I have some feelings and wrote it down. I have shot some pictures of that case, but I cannot post them up.

Journal 10/19/20


When I was a child, every family raised chickens like this, and so did we children grow up.


When I was a child, every family raised chickens like this, and so did we, and this helped us children to grow up.

This is a bit confusing: "like this" makes it sound like you're referring back to something you've said already. "...and so did we children grow up" sounds poetic but is a bit hard to interpret - if you mean that raising the chickens helped you to grow up then you could use the suggestion I've made!

Grew up naturally, not afraid of the winds and rain.


GWe grew up naturally, not afraid of the winds and rain.

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