July 12, 2021
Japanese Women Situation(two)
Since the pandemic outbreak last year, most Japanese had to work at home. Female employees confronted not only their works but also their faimilies. If their families were infected, they would be blamed and they had to take the responsibility to take care the patients. And as being quarantined, they could't contact with their friends, so they were under more pressure. As a result, some of them got sick in mental. What was worse, some of them prefer to end their lives.
"Among women under 40, suicides rose by close to 25 percent, and among adolescents, the number of high school girls taking their lives doubled last year."--quote from the article.
When I read this sentence, I was shocked. I know that the rate of suicide of Japan was higher than other countries in the world for a long time. But the rate is too high during the pandemic. And I always know that female situation is much lower than most devoloped countries. But when the truth and details show infront of me, I become angery but helpless.
There is still good news to cheer me up. Nao, who is struggling with despreeion, started to write down her battles in her blog three years ago. Her blog helps a lot of people. Hashimoto, who tried to suicide once, developed an app teamed with her boyfriend. The app is a platform for psycology counseling. And she is training herslf as a theropist to help women who are in despression.
Wish they all would live better.
Japanese Women’s Situation (two)
Female employees confrontedworkers were confronted by problems not only with their workemployers but also with their faimilies.
1. “Employees” is a term used on in context of a particular job or company. A more general term is “worker”.
2. Additionally, it is unclear to me what you mean here by “confront.” The one confronting us the aggressor, and it seems that you do not mean the women are the ones raising problems.
If their families were infected, they would be blamed and they had to take the responsibility to take care the patientsof caring for the sick.
“Patients” is a term used only in relation to medical personnel and facilities.
And as being quarantined, they couldn't contact with their friends, so they were under more pressure.
As a result, some of them got sick in mental.developed mental illness.
What was worse, some of them preferred to end their lives.
"Among women under 40, suicides rose by close to 25 percent, and among adolescents, the number of high school girls taking their lives doubled last year."
--quote from the article.
When I read this sentence, I was shocked.
I knowhad known for a long time that the rate of suicide of Japan was higher than other countries in the world for a long time.
But the rate is too high during the pandemic.
And I have always known that femalthe situation for women is much lower in Japan than in most other devoloped countries.
1. “Lower” requires a contrast of two things.
2. “Female” is a biological and clinical term that is best avoided when talking about women. It should be used as an adjective, not a noun unless talking of animals.
But when I saw the truth and details show in front of me, I becoame angery buand felt helpless.
There is still some good news to cheer me up.
Nao, who is struggling with despreession, started to write downof her battles in her blog three years ago.
Her blog helps a lot of people.
Hashimoto, who tried to suicide once, developed an app teamed with her boyfriend.
Suicide cannot be used as a verb. The correct verbal phrasing is “to commit suicide”
The app is a platform for psychologyical counseling.
And she is training herslf as a theroapist to help women who are inhave despression.
WishI hope they all wouldcan live better.
Feedback
Good job - careful with spelling and verb tenses.
July 12, 2021
Female employees confrontedworkers were confronted by problems not only with their workemployers but also with their faimilies.
What I mean is that women had to face the problems including their work and their family.
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As a result, some of them got sick in mental. As a result, some of them |
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Japanese Women Situation(two) Japanese Women’s Situation (two) |
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Since the pandemic outbreak last year, most Japanese had to work at home. |
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Female employees confronted not only their works but also their faimilies. Female 1. “Employees” is a term used on in context of a particular job or company. A more general term is “worker”. 2. Additionally, it is unclear to me what you mean here by “confront.” The one confronting us the aggressor, and it seems that you do not mean the women are the ones raising problems. |
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If their families were infected, they would be blamed and they had to take the responsibility to take care the patients. If their families were infected, they would be blamed and they had to take the responsibility “Patients” is a term used only in relation to medical personnel and facilities. |
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And as being quarantined, they could't contact with their friends, so they were under more pressure. And |
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What was worse, some of them prefer to end their lives. What was worse, some of them preferred to end their lives. |
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"Among women under 40, suicides rose by close to 25 percent, and among adolescents, the number of high school girls taking their lives doubled last year." This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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--quote from the article. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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When I read this sentence, I was shocked. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I know that the rate of suicide of Japan was higher than other countries in the world for a long time. I |
|
But the rate is too high during the pandemic. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And I always know that female situation is much lower than most devoloped countries. And I have always known that 1. “Lower” requires a contrast of two things. 2. “Female” is a biological and clinical term that is best avoided when talking about women. It should be used as an adjective, not a noun unless talking of animals. |
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But when the truth and details show infront of me, I become angery but helpless. But when I saw the truth and details |
|
There is still good news to cheer me up. There is still some good news to cheer me up. |
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Nao, who is struggling with despreeion, started to write down her battles in her blog three years ago. Nao, who is struggling with de |
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Her blog helps a lot of people. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Hashimoto, who tried to suicide once, developed an app teamed with her boyfriend. Hashimoto, who tried Suicide cannot be used as a verb. The correct verbal phrasing is “to commit suicide” |
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The app is a platform for psycology counseling. The app is a platform for psycholog |
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And she is training herslf as a theropist to help women who are in despression. And she is training herslf as a ther |
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Wish they all would live better.
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