Sept. 1, 2020
Japan VS. China in Qing dynasty.
In my opinion, Japan and China clearly reflect the idea and difference between cultural development and determinism.
I think geography will directly influence the oriented of a country, future, and development. Even then Japan gained a big success and revolution in the last century, they had a big cost. In my view, the Meiji Reform was the only way to arm the country and against West-force's aggression for the emperor of Japan during that period. To relate this chapter, we could view the Meiji reform as progress as cultural development.
By the way, I think the cultural development is on par with environmental determinism. In my thinking, environmental determinism could take a big role in countries' futures. For example, compared with geography between China and Japan, China has more opposite to develop by itself. But Japan has not. Japan is just a big island. It does not have much agrarian field. When confronting Western aggression, China can just close its door that China benefits from its geography. But Japan can no do that. Japan have weakness by its geography. If the army wants to aggress, that will be easy. That is why I think environmental determinism as the same as significant to consider a bigger picture and look back on history.
In my opinion, Japan and China clearly reflect the ideas of and differences between cultural development and environmental determinism.
You used "environmental determinism" throughout the rest of your writing so I assume it is what you mean here.
I think geography will directly influences the orientedation of a country,'s future, and development.
Even thenough Japan gained a big success andthrough revolution in the last century, ithey had a big cost.
In my view, the Meiji Reform was the only way for the emperor of Japan to arm the country and against the West-'s force's and aggression for the emperor of Japan during that period.
The phrase "during that period" is unnecessary since the reader knows what period you are talking about as soon as you mention the Meiji Reform. My other edits were reordering the sentence so it flows better.
To relate this chapterto my topic, we could view the Meiji rReform as progress asthrough cultural development.
Alternatively: "To relate this to my topic, we could view the Meiji Reform's progress as cultural development."
By the way, I think the cultural development is on par with environmental determinism.
I might consider wording this:
"By the way, I think environmental determinism is on par with cultural development."
Writing it this way helps to transition between topics more smoothly.
In my thinking, environmental determinism could takeplay a big role in countries' futures.
For example, compared withing geography between China and Japan, China has more oppositeroom to develop by itself.
But Japan hadoes not.
Japan is just a big island.
It does not have muchany agrarian fields.
When confronting Western aggression, China can just close its door that China benefits from its geographys.
"that China benefits from its geography." does not fit, but is still implied the way I corrected it.
Another way to rewrite this, and keep the phrase would be:
"China benefits from its geography because when confronting Western aggression, China can just close its doors."
But Japan can not do that.
Japan haveis weakenessd by its geography.
Alternatively: "Japan's geography is a weakness."
If thean army wants to aggress, that willit would be easy.
In this sentence "the army" only works if there is a previous specific army that you are referring to, but since this is unspecific/hypothetical "an army" works better.
That is why I think environmental determinism has the same as significant toce when considering a bigger picture and look back on history.
Feedback
Great job! I think this is an interesting topic and I enjoyed reading your discussion of it. Let me know if you have any questions about my corrections.
Sept. 3, 2020
By the way, I think the cultural development is on par with environmental determinism.
I don't get your command that "environmental dertmininsm" place in the front as Subject. in the last sentence, I talk about environmental cultural diffusion. you could talk to me about why the differ. thank you
Sept. 3, 2020
The sentence before this correction was: "To relate this chapter, we could view the Meiji reform as progress as cultural development." so talking about "cultural development". The sentence after this correction is: "In my thinking, environmental determinism could take a big role in countries' futures." so talking about "environmental determinism". So when reading, this current sentence is seen as a transition from the first idea (cultural development) to the second (environmental determinism).
So my correction was that I think the best way to write this transition would be "By the way, X (which I'm about to talk about) is on par with Y (which I just talked about)." This correction is just what I think sounds more natural as a transition and is not really a "command" or correcting a grammar issue, just making it sound more natural by putting what you are about to talk about next in front. The sentence is okay even if you do not put "environmental determinism" in front.
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Japan VS. China in Qing dynasty. |
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In my opinion, Japan and China clearly reflect the idea and difference between cultural development and determinism. In my opinion, Japan and China clearly reflect the ideas of and differences between cultural development and environmental determinism. You used "environmental determinism" throughout the rest of your writing so I assume it is what you mean here. |
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I think geography will directly influence the oriented of a country, future, and development. I think geography |
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Even then Japan gained a big success and revolution in the last century, they had a big cost. Even th |
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In my view, the Meiji Reform was the only way to arm the country and against West-force's aggression for the emperor of Japan during that period. In my view, the Meiji Reform was the only way for the emperor of Japan to arm the country The phrase "during that period" is unnecessary since the reader knows what period you are talking about as soon as you mention the Meiji Reform. My other edits were reordering the sentence so it flows better. |
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To relate this chapter, we could view the Meiji reform as progress as cultural development. To relate this Alternatively: "To relate this to my topic, we could view the Meiji Reform's progress as cultural development." |
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By the way, I think the cultural development is on par with environmental determinism. By the way, I think I might consider wording this: "By the way, I think environmental determinism is on par with cultural development." Writing it this way helps to transition between topics more smoothly. |
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In my thinking, environmental determinism could take a big role in countries' futures. In my thinking, environmental determinism could |
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For example, compared with geography between China and Japan, China has more opposite to develop by itself. For example, compar |
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But Japan has not. But Japan |
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Japan is just a big island. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It does not have much agrarian field. It does not have m |
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When confronting Western aggression, China can just close its door that China benefits from its geography. When confronting Western aggression, China can just close its door "that China benefits from its geography." does not fit, but is still implied the way I corrected it. Another way to rewrite this, and keep the phrase would be: "China benefits from its geography because when confronting Western aggression, China can just close its doors." |
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But Japan can no do that. But Japan can |
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Japan have weakness by its geography. Japan Alternatively: "Japan's geography is a weakness." |
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If the army wants to aggress, that will be easy. If In this sentence "the army" only works if there is a previous specific army that you are referring to, but since this is unspecific/hypothetical "an army" works better. |
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That is why I think environmental determinism as the same as significant to consider a bigger picture and look back on history. That is why I think environmental determinism has the same |
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