NavidRostami's avatar
NavidRostami

Feb. 25, 2022

0
Introducing my family

Well, there are four people in my family, including my Dad, Mom, older brother, and me. I am the youngest. My brother and I have a 7-year age gap. We are a loving and close-knit family. We all have a strong bond among us which makes us a blissfully happy family. They are positive, supportive, and caring. I am close to everyone family member in my own way. I would not say that we never argue with each other. You know, these disagreements are momentary. Although I had argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights, we started to get along with each other when we grow up. You know, it was a sibling rivalry. After living far away for six years, I appreciate all the moments we spent together. I used to be close to my brother before he moved away, however now I am considered my mom as the closest member. We got close because we had tons of things in common. Although my father didn’t talk to or even spend time with me, he considers me his closest member after my mom.

familyintroducing
Corrections

Introducing my family

Well, there are four people in my family, including: my Ddad, Mmom, olderand brother, and me.

I am the youngest.

wWe all have a strong bond among us, additionally, thand it makes us a blissfully, happy family.

wWe are a loving and close-knit family.

thaIt makes for a great future and properqualities in my family.

I don't quite understand what you mean by "properties"

you know, tThey are positive, supportive, and caring.

aAlthough I am close to everyone family members in my own way, I would not say that we never argue with each other.

you knowHowever, these disagreements are momentary.

eEven though I have argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights, as we got a bit older, we gostarted to get along with each other.

you know, it wasIt was just a sibling rivalry.

"you know" in this context is strange

aAfter six years that weof liveding far from each other, I now appreciate all the moments we spent.

aActually, I miss him a lot.

Although I used to be close to my brother before his migration, now I amove, I am now close to my mom.

The word "migration" is kinda strange in this context.

We got close because ofwe sharinge the same ideas about many things and issues, we got close.

Although my father didn’t talk or even spend time with me, he considers me to be his closest family member after my mom in the family.

jogeumman's avatar
jogeumman

Feb. 25, 2022

0

thaIt makes for a great future and properqualities in my family.

Oh yeah! Your suggestion is much better - “qualities”. For some strange reason I didn’t think of that! 😆🙂

NavidRostami's avatar
NavidRostami

Feb. 26, 2022

0

Thanks for your corrections

wWe all have a strong bond among us, additionally, thatnd that also makes us a blissfully happy family.

If you can, try to remember to capitalise the first letter in your sentences.

I know many English speakers forget this (or choose to use only lower case letters because they want to appear more casual), but capitalising the first letters of sentences makes them easier to read. Thanks! 👍

tThat makalso guarantees a great future and properties in my familyfor my family. No matter what happens, we are resilient.

I think I understand how you are trying to describe the relationship in your family as having positive “properties” (characteristics is a little bit more appropriate a word btw, but still feels too “detached”)…

I’m not sure how to express this idea, and “properties” is a fairly cold or “clinical”/“scientific” word.

I hope that helps and you like my suggestion?

aAlthough I am close to everyoneach of my family members in my own way, I would not say that we never argue with each other.

you know,Anyway, it doesn’t matter because these disagreements are momentary.

“Anyway” is a useful pivot word to change the topic and conclude an idea.

even though I have argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights in the past, we gotrew a bit older and we got along with each other.

It’s totally optional to add “in the past” or “grew” but sometimes these extra words can help readability. They are like “signposts”, for emphasis.

you know,Basically it was only a sibling rivalry.

Just another nice alternative to start a sentence. 👍

aAfter these past six years that we lived far from each other, I appreciate all the moments we spent together.

Although I used to be close to my brother before his migration, now I am closer to my mom.

because ofSince we sharinge the same ideas about many things and issues, we gotbecame closer.

“Because of sharing” is a bit clunky here, I’m sorry I can’t explain… My grammar is mostly only intuitive (by feeling not logic).

I replaced “got close” with “became closer” because it is a bit more natural.

tThough my father didn’t talk, or even spend time with me, he considers me his closest member after my mom in the family.

Feedback

Really lovely text, thanks for sharing! I disagree with the other reviewer that using the phrase “you know” is too casual - everything depends on context. 👍

jogeumman's avatar
jogeumman

Feb. 25, 2022

0

tThat makalso guarantees a great future and properties in my familyfor my family. No matter what happens, we are resilient.

Oh yeah! Your suggestion is much better - “qualities”. For some strange reason I didn’t think of that! 😆🙂

NavidRostami's avatar
NavidRostami

Feb. 26, 2022

0

Thanks for your corrections.
I will use this as writing and speech.
So I try to use gap filler to look like more native😂
I think it can confused me sometimes.
I always try capitalization but this time I just forgot.
I really like all the recommendations word and grammar.
Thanks for your advice, I’ll try to use them.

Introducing my family

Well, there are four people in my family, including my Dad, Mom, older brother, and me.

I am the youngest.

we all have a strong bond among us, additionally, thatwhich makes us a blissfully happy family.

Additionally is too formal

we are a loving and close-knit family.

thatwhich makes a great future andus a prosperties in myous family.

Not sure what you meant here

you know, tThey are positive, supportive, and caring.

you know is too conversational

although I am close to everyoneach family members in my own way, I would not say that we never argue with each other.

each family member = singular

you know, tThese disagreements are momentary.

you know = too conversational

even though I have argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights, when we got a bit older we gostarted to get along with each other.

you know, it was a sibling rivalry.

aAfter six years that we lived far from each otherliving far away from each for six years, I appreciate all the moments we spent together.

Although I used to be close to my brother before his migratione moved away, now I am closer to my mom.

Migration is too formal. "Closer" is better because you're comparing before and after

because ofwe sharinged the same ideas about many things and issues, we got close.

"We got close because we had many things in common" sounds better

tThough my father didn’t talk or even spend time with me, he considers me his closest family member after my mom in the family.

He considers = don't forget the s

Feedback

Great job! Sometimes you use some formal expressions, but you structured your paragraph well. I would also avoid using "you know" in writing, since it sounds too casual and it's mostly used when talking.

NavidRostami's avatar
NavidRostami

Feb. 26, 2022

0

Thanks for your corrections.
I will use this as writing and speech.
So I try to use gap filler to look like more native😂
I think it can confused me sometimes
But thanks for your advice, I’ll try to use them.

Introducing my family


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Well, there are four people in my family, including my Dad, Mom, older brother, and me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Well, there are four people in my family, including: my Ddad, Mmom, olderand brother, and me.

I am the youngest.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

we all have a strong bond among us, additionally, that makes us a blissfully happy family.


we all have a strong bond among us, additionally, thatwhich makes us a blissfully happy family.

Additionally is too formal

wWe all have a strong bond among us, additionally, thatnd that also makes us a blissfully happy family.

If you can, try to remember to capitalise the first letter in your sentences. I know many English speakers forget this (or choose to use only lower case letters because they want to appear more casual), but capitalising the first letters of sentences makes them easier to read. Thanks! 👍

wWe all have a strong bond among us, additionally, thand it makes us a blissfully, happy family.

we are a loving and close-knit family.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

wWe are a loving and close-knit family.

that makes a great future and properties in my family.


thatwhich makes a great future andus a prosperties in myous family.

Not sure what you meant here

tThat makalso guarantees a great future and properties in my familyfor my family. No matter what happens, we are resilient.

I think I understand how you are trying to describe the relationship in your family as having positive “properties” (characteristics is a little bit more appropriate a word btw, but still feels too “detached”)… I’m not sure how to express this idea, and “properties” is a fairly cold or “clinical”/“scientific” word. I hope that helps and you like my suggestion?

thaIt makes for a great future and properqualities in my family.

I don't quite understand what you mean by "properties"

you know, they are positive, supportive, and caring.


you know, tThey are positive, supportive, and caring.

you know is too conversational

you know, tThey are positive, supportive, and caring.

although I am close to everyone family members in my own way, I would not say that we never argue with each other.


although I am close to everyoneach family members in my own way, I would not say that we never argue with each other.

each family member = singular

aAlthough I am close to everyoneach of my family members in my own way, I would not say that we never argue with each other.

aAlthough I am close to everyone family members in my own way, I would not say that we never argue with each other.

you know, these disagreements are momentary.


you know, tThese disagreements are momentary.

you know = too conversational

you know,Anyway, it doesn’t matter because these disagreements are momentary.

“Anyway” is a useful pivot word to change the topic and conclude an idea.

you knowHowever, these disagreements are momentary.

even though I have argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights, we got a bit older we got along with each other.


even though I have argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights, when we got a bit older we gostarted to get along with each other.

even though I have argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights in the past, we gotrew a bit older and we got along with each other.

It’s totally optional to add “in the past” or “grew” but sometimes these extra words can help readability. They are like “signposts”, for emphasis.

eEven though I have argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights, as we got a bit older, we gostarted to get along with each other.

you know, it was a sibling rivalry.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

you know,Basically it was only a sibling rivalry.

Just another nice alternative to start a sentence. 👍

you know, it wasIt was just a sibling rivalry.

"you know" in this context is strange

after six years that we lived far from each other, I appreciate all the moments we spent.


aAfter six years that we lived far from each otherliving far away from each for six years, I appreciate all the moments we spent together.

aAfter these past six years that we lived far from each other, I appreciate all the moments we spent together.

aAfter six years that weof liveding far from each other, I now appreciate all the moments we spent.

actually, I miss him a lot.


aActually, I miss him a lot.

Although I used to be close to my brother before his migration, now I am close to my mom.


Although I used to be close to my brother before his migratione moved away, now I am closer to my mom.

Migration is too formal. "Closer" is better because you're comparing before and after

Although I used to be close to my brother before his migration, now I am closer to my mom.

Although I used to be close to my brother before his migration, now I amove, I am now close to my mom.

The word "migration" is kinda strange in this context.

because of sharing the same ideas about many things and issues, we got close.


because ofwe sharinged the same ideas about many things and issues, we got close.

"We got close because we had many things in common" sounds better

because ofSince we sharinge the same ideas about many things and issues, we gotbecame closer.

“Because of sharing” is a bit clunky here, I’m sorry I can’t explain… My grammar is mostly only intuitive (by feeling not logic). I replaced “got close” with “became closer” because it is a bit more natural.

We got close because ofwe sharinge the same ideas about many things and issues, we got close.

though my father didn’t talk or even spend time with me, he consider me his closest member after my mom in the family.


tThough my father didn’t talk or even spend time with me, he considers me his closest family member after my mom in the family.

He considers = don't forget the s

tThough my father didn’t talk, or even spend time with me, he considers me his closest member after my mom in the family.

Although my father didn’t talk or even spend time with me, he considers me to be his closest family member after my mom in the family.

I am close to everyone family member in my own way.


My brother and I have a 7-year age gap.


We are a loving and close-knit family.


We all have a strong bond among us which makes us a blissfully happy family.


They are positive, supportive, and caring.


I would not say that we never argue with each other.


You know, these disagreements are momentary.


Although I had argued with my older brother and had ridiculous fights, we started to get along with each other when we grow up.


You know, it was a sibling rivalry.


After living far away for six years, I appreciate all the moments we spent together.


I used to be close to my brother before he moved away, however now I am considered my mom as the closest member.


We got close because we had tons of things in common.


Although my father didn’t talk to or even spend time with me, he considers me his closest member after my mom.


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