SummerTeaWater's avatar
SummerTeaWater

Feb. 6, 2022

402
Impressive Situation During a Trip

About 15 years ago, I traveled around Jeju island by bicycle.

Over 3 days, my friends and I rode about more than 200 km.

During the trip, we had many good memories such as riding a hill path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food and even making friends with other travellers.

The most memorable moment is when we rode our bicycle during midnight.

We were late to the hotel where we were supposed to stay.

We had no choice to ride in the dark path even though it was too dangerous.

As we were tired and nervous, one of my friends said "Look at the sky".

We were able to see lots of shooting stars in the dark and beautiful sky.

The stars gave us cheer up and we finally arrived our destination no accident.

I remember it as one of the most impressive memories all of my life.

Corrections

ImpressiveA Situation During a Trip

About 15 years ago, I traveled around Jeju iIsland by bicycle.

Capitalize "island" since it's a proper noun.

Over 3 days, my friends and I rode about more than 200 km.

During the trip, we hmad many goode wonderful memories, such as riding a hilly path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food and even making friends with other travellers.

The most memorable moment iwas when we rode our bicycle duringat midnight.

We were late to the hotel where we were supposed to stay.

We had no choice to ride in the dark path, even though it was too dangerous.

As we wegrew tired and nervous, one of my friends said, "Look at the sky"."

We were able to see lots of shooting stars in the dark and beautiful sky.

The stars gave us cheered us up, and we finally arrived our destination with no accidents.

I remember it as one of the most impressive memories in all of my life.

Feedback

Great job!!

SummerTeaWater's avatar
SummerTeaWater

Feb. 6, 2022

402

Thank you so much.

About 15 years ago, I traveled around Jeju island by bicycle.

Alternative: "by bike" instead of "by bicycle"

During the trip, we had many good memories such as riding a hill path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food, and even making friends with other travellers.

Alternative: "Befriending other travelers" instead of "making friends with other travelers"

We had no choice but to ride in the dark path even though it was too dangerous.

As wWe were feeling tired and nervous, when one of my friends said, "Look at the sky"."

We were able to see lots of shooting stars in the dark and beautiful sky.

Alternative: "a lot of" instead of "lots of"

The stars gave us cheered us up, and we finally arrived our destination with no accidents.

Alternative: "Safely" instead of "with no accidents"

Feedback

Lovely moment, and great job!

SummerTeaWater's avatar
SummerTeaWater

Feb. 6, 2022

402

Thank you very much.

About 15 years ago, I traveled around Jeju island by bicycle.

Over 3 days, my friends and I rode about more than 200 km.

Your sentence is correct right now, but you can remove "about" if you want to. There is no change to the meaning of the sentence.

During the trip, we shared many good memories such aslike riding down a hill path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food, and even making friends with other travellers.

The most memorable moment iwas when we rode our bicycle durings at midnight.

"At midnight" is more natural in English.

We were late to the hotel where we were supposed to stay.

We had no choice to ridbike ion the dark path even though it was toovery dangerous.

Aslthough we were tired and nervous, one of my friends said, "Look up at the sky"."

When quoting in English, put a comma after words like "said" "yelled" "cried" etc. And keep all punctuation of the quote inside the quotation marks. For example:

The teacher said, "Sowon, you wrote very well today. Good job."

We were able to see lots of shooting stars in the dark and beautiful sky.

The stars gave us cheered us up, and we finally arrived to our destination with no acincident.

"Incident" fits better than "accident" here. For reference: an “incident” is an unexpected event where no one gets seriously hurt/nothing significant happened. An "accident" is an unexpected event where someone does get hurt or something gets damaged.

I remember it as one of the most impressive memories all of my life.

Feedback

잘 했습니다! 저는 3년 전에 자전거를 타는 것을 배웠어요. 어렸을 때는 저는 자전거보다 스쿠터가 좋아해요.

kay_tanadhari's avatar
kay_tanadhari

Feb. 6, 2022

1

I remember it as one of the most impressive memories all of my life.

Oh, I forgot something! You could also change the last part of this sentence to "in my whole life" rather than "all of my life".

SummerTeaWater's avatar
SummerTeaWater

Feb. 6, 2022

402

고맙습니다! :)

I remember it as one of the most impressive memories all of my life.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I remember it as one of the most impressive memories in all of my life.

Impressive Situation During a Trip


ImpressiveA Situation During a Trip

About 15 years ago, I traveled around Jeju island by bicycle.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

About 15 years ago, I traveled around Jeju island by bicycle.

Alternative: "by bike" instead of "by bicycle"

About 15 years ago, I traveled around Jeju iIsland by bicycle.

Capitalize "island" since it's a proper noun.

Over 3 days, my friends and I rode about more than 200 km.


Over 3 days, my friends and I rode about more than 200 km.

Your sentence is correct right now, but you can remove "about" if you want to. There is no change to the meaning of the sentence.

Over 3 days, my friends and I rode about more than 200 km.

During the trip, we had many good memories such as riding a hill path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food and even making friends with other travellers.


During the trip, we shared many good memories such aslike riding down a hill path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food, and even making friends with other travellers.

During the trip, we had many good memories such as riding a hill path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food, and even making friends with other travellers.

Alternative: "Befriending other travelers" instead of "making friends with other travelers"

During the trip, we hmad many goode wonderful memories, such as riding a hilly path surrounded by flowers, eating delicious local food and even making friends with other travellers.

The most memorable moment is when we rode our bicycle during midnight.


The most memorable moment iwas when we rode our bicycle durings at midnight.

"At midnight" is more natural in English.

The most memorable moment iwas when we rode our bicycle duringat midnight.

We were late to the hotel where we were supposed to stay.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

We had no choice to ride in the dark path even though it was too dangerous.


We had no choice to ridbike ion the dark path even though it was toovery dangerous.

We had no choice but to ride in the dark path even though it was too dangerous.

We had no choice to ride in the dark path, even though it was too dangerous.

As we were tired and nervous, one of my friends said "Look at the sky".


Aslthough we were tired and nervous, one of my friends said, "Look up at the sky"."

When quoting in English, put a comma after words like "said" "yelled" "cried" etc. And keep all punctuation of the quote inside the quotation marks. For example: The teacher said, "Sowon, you wrote very well today. Good job."

As wWe were feeling tired and nervous, when one of my friends said, "Look at the sky"."

As we wegrew tired and nervous, one of my friends said, "Look at the sky"."

We were able to see lots of shooting stars in the dark and beautiful sky.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

We were able to see lots of shooting stars in the dark and beautiful sky.

Alternative: "a lot of" instead of "lots of"

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The stars gave us cheer up and we finally arrived our destination no accident.


The stars gave us cheered us up, and we finally arrived to our destination with no acincident.

"Incident" fits better than "accident" here. For reference: an “incident” is an unexpected event where no one gets seriously hurt/nothing significant happened. An "accident" is an unexpected event where someone does get hurt or something gets damaged.

The stars gave us cheered us up, and we finally arrived our destination with no accidents.

Alternative: "Safely" instead of "with no accidents"

The stars gave us cheered us up, and we finally arrived our destination with no accidents.

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