IELTS wWriting tTask 2

Capital letters start important words in title.

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or the football wWorld cCup.

Definite article as talking about specific competition. As specific competition capital letters for 'World Cup'.

Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports fromat a young age.

ESSAY: ¶
It is sometimes argued that fosterencouraging children to do sports brings a variety of benefits, especially in their future workplace.

Don't think 'fostering' is correct here. 'fostering children' implies having them looked after by another family than their own temporarily due to issues in the family. You a 'foster' say talent or ability.

Firstly, different countries and institutions are investing forin a variety of projects assemblpertaining to the Olympic Games at the moment, such as youth sports programs.

'to invest in'. 'pertaining' or 'relating' rather than 'assembling'.

But only a small number of parents haveget to seen that upcoming opportunity.

'have seen' suggests is over. Think 'get to see' is better.

So, raising children to be athletes will be a great advantage for their future careers and a big solution forto the problems of income.

How will it be a big solution to the problems of income? Unless you mean parents will not have to pay for training.

Secondly, sports can also assist inimprove children's health problems to a great extent.

'improve' rather than 'assist' here. Don't need 'problems' in sentence.

This is because when people's blood circulation can be improved while receivingby training.

No 'when'. Don't need 'blood'. 'Circulation' implies the blood circulation in this context.

For example, I remember that once upon a time there was a dramatic boost in SAT math examination scores after a period of 5 months of football training in a club.

Don't need the 'of'.

In conclusion, it is vitally important to leadencourage children to take part in sports training in their early years.

Don't need 'training' in 'sports training'. 'lead' wrong word here.

By doing so, we can make sport have the maximum effect of sports.

Have changed to a more appropriate order.

tThis is my IELTS writing task 2.

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as the Olympic Games or football wWorld cCup.

Firstly, different countries and institutions are investing for a variety of projects assemblingleading up to the Olympic Games at the moment, such as youth sports programs.

But only a small number of parents have seen that upcomingbenefited from that opportunity.

So, raising children to be athletes willould be a great advantage for their future careers and a big solution for thincome problems of income.

Secondly, sports can also assist inprevent children's health problems to a great extent.

This is because when people's blood circulation can be improved while receiving traintraining/exercising.

Thus, trainees will become healthier and more confident after practising sports.

Finally, doing sports is beneficial to academic performance and intelligence, which whas been proven by scientific research.

In conclusion, it is vitally important to leadencourage children to take part in sports training in their early years.

By doing so, we can makximize the maximum effect of playing sports.

tThis is my IELTS writing task 2.

But I believe that after a few days of training, I will soon make it!

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as the Olympic Games or the football world cup.

But only a small number of parents have seen that upcoming opportunity.

So, raising children to be athletes will be a great advantage for their future careers and a big solution for the problems ofwith income.

This is because when people's blood circulation can be improved while receiving training.

Finally, doplaying sports is beneficial to academic performance and intelligence, which whas been proven by scientific research.

For example, I remember that once upon a time there wasthere was a study that showed a dramatic boost in SAT math examination scores after a period of 5 months of football training in a club.

By doing so, we can makuse the maximum effect of sports.