Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

You're not wrong, I would just write this way for a teeny bit more conciseness.

HaIs this become a positive or negative development?

Again, you're not wrong I don't think. But I would use "is" instead of "has become" here. It's difficult for me to explain why exactly (Sorry! When I can put it clearly into words, I'll let you know.)

Today digital service is evolving immediately so the population is also, technology is evolving rapidly and alternating their way to cooppeople interacte with another personeach other.

However, every coins haves two facsides.

Technology also has theirhas its pros and cons in the kind of relationships madewhen used socially by people.

Firstly, digital service is the things that, technology can help people connects with other person ins all around the globe.

For illustrate, if there isexample, when a student goes abroad, technology is often the best way to meetfor them to stay in touch with their family and friends onlineby using the Internet.

You can say, "To illustrate" but I personally would just say "For example" here. I feel like I would use "to illustrate" when talking about something more complex.

Moreover, parents will not worry about their child’s study andies or safety because a lot ofthere are now many virtual rooms ion the iInternet has been appeared.

I'm not sure what you mean here, so I can't gauge how good an argument this is.

And itTechnology is also a necessity to let them practiseary for students to communicate and with their teachers and friends in online and reality.

Although, digital service has many advantages.

I would just combine this with the next sentence.

Their disadvantages as well as the development is the basis of afflicted to technology for youngAlthough technology has some advantages, its disadvantages have afflicted the young with new social challenges.

The word "afflicted" is usually expressed "afflicted with..."

In order to thatFor example, children hasnow spend time too much time on technology, which mean their time for family gathering is just a little number and not enough time socializing or interacting with their friends or family face-to-face.

Additionally, technology can have a bad effect that making newon relationship and cs. Communicating with others willcan become a burden.

I think you need to explain more here.

Not only communicated hardly with other people but virtually, if someone want to access them, it will very difficult too.

I'm not sure what you mean here.

OverallAs I have illustrated, technology has itscan have positive and negative effects.

ConsiderablyHowever, from my point of view, I think that thise evolution of digital device is a positive effecttechnology has had a considerably more positive impact on society overall.

"Considerably" means "a lot" or "much".

In conclusion, technology is advancing more and more advance and it is involve with improve of socialty so we need to use technology more efficientlyevery day but we must be more cognizant of how we use that technology to better mitigate its potential negative effects.

ieltsIELTS writing task 2

Today digital service iss are evolving immediatelyat a very fast rate so the population is also alternating their way to coopermmunicate with another person.

very fast rate OR exponenetially

However, every coins haves two facsides.

Yes coin has two faces, but in English this idiom uses "sides

Technology also has theirhas its pros and cons in the kind of relationships made by people.

also is not needed. You already let the reader know that the coin has 2 sides

Firstly, digital service is the things thatechnology helps people connects with other person in allpeople around the globe.

ForTo illustrate, if there is a student goes abroad, technology is the best way to mkeetp in touch with their family and friends online.

Moreover, parents will not worry about their child’s study and safe because a lot of virtual rooms in the internet has been appearedty due to a lot of scheduling or safety-related digital tools.

i wouldnt use "virtual rooms" nowadays that has a slightly negative connotation

And it is also a necessity to let them practise toce communicate andion with their teachers and friends in online and in reality.

Although, digital service has many advantages.

Ttheir disadvantages as well as the addiction-strategy development is the basis of afflictedddition to technology for in young people.

Combine this sentence with the previous one

In order to that, cChildren has spend time too much time on technology, which means their time for family gathering is just a little numbertime decreases.

In order to do that doesnt make sense here

Additionally, technology have a bad effect thatputs a strain on making new relationships and communicating with others willthout tech becomes burden.

Not only is communicated hardlyion with other people but virtually, if someone want to access them, it willchanging. but if someone wants access to a tech-minded person without using technology themselves, it becomes very difficult tooas well.

In conclusion, technology is more and more advanced and it is involved with improve of socialtyrpving socialization; so we need to use technology more efficiently.