eloise404's avatar
eloise404

Dec. 12, 2022

0
IELTS Writing Practice 4

Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences. Thank you.

Topic: The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. (see the attachment)
______

The diagram illustrates the five stages of processing carbonated beverages, namely purifying, evaporating and carbonating, blending, filtering and filling, and packaging.

From the first stage, the raw water has to flow through a filter and be purified by the additional water softener and chemicals.

Secondly, the soft water goes through a pump, be heated up by electric heaters, and evaporates in the machine. Later, to receive carbonated water, it first gets cooled down by the pipe and then merged with carbon dioxide.

The final step of making the drinks is to put the acid water into a mixing tank, which contains some certain amounts of coloring, syrup and flavor. At the fourth stage, the drinks will be filtered one last time and then be filled into the plastic bottles or cans. The fifth and also the final stage of the process is packing and delivering the beverages to be on sell.

Corrections

IELTS Writing Practice 4

Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences.

Thank you.

Topic: The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

(see the attachment)

______

The diagram illustrates the five stages of processing carbonated beverages, namely: purifying, evaporating and carbonating, blending, filtering and filling, and packaging.

FromIn the first stage, the raw water has to flows through a filter and be purified by the additionalthen treated with water softener and chemicals.

Secondly, the softened water goes througho a pump, be heated up by electric heaters, and evaporates in the machine and then is heated.

I don't see an evaporation stage anywhere in the diagram.

Later, to receiveBefore being carbonated, the water, it first gets cooled down by the pipe and then merged with carbon dioxids cooled by flowing through a cooling pipe.

The final step of making the drinks is to put the aciIn the third stage, the resulting carbonated water inflows to a mixing tank, which contains some certain amounts of coloring, syrup and flavor.

AtIn the fourth stage, the drinks will beresulting carbonated beverage passes through another filtered one last time and then be filled into the plasticis bottlesd or cansned.

The fifth and also the final stage of the process is the packing and delivering of the beverages to be on sellottled or canned beverage for later sale at supermarkets.

Feedback

Good work.

eloise404's avatar
eloise404

Dec. 13, 2022

0

Secondly, the softened water goes througho a pump, be heated up by electric heaters, and evaporates in the machine and then is heated.

Under the 2 stage in the picture writes heating evaporation and carbonation so maybe the evaporation happens in the electric heaters, I guess 🤔

eloise404's avatar
eloise404

Dec. 13, 2022

0

I really appreciate your help. 🙏

mari's avatar
mari

Dec. 13, 2022

2

Under the 2 stage in the picture writes heating evaporation and carbonation so maybe the evaporation happens in the electric heaters, I guess 🤔

oh! I see it now. Sorry! Yes, that's where I'd guess it would happen, too!

IELTS Writing Practice 4


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Thank you.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Topic: The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

(see the attachment)


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

______


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The diagram illustrates the five stages of processing carbonated beverages, namely purifying, evaporating and carbonating, blending, filtering and filling, and packaging.


The diagram illustrates the five stages of processing carbonated beverages, namely: purifying, evaporating and carbonating, blending, filtering and filling, and packaging.

From the first stage, the raw water has to flow through a filter and be purified by the additional water softener and chemicals.


FromIn the first stage, the raw water has to flows through a filter and be purified by the additionalthen treated with water softener and chemicals.

Secondly, the soft water goes through a pump, be heated up by electric heaters, and evaporates in the machine.


Secondly, the softened water goes througho a pump, be heated up by electric heaters, and evaporates in the machine and then is heated.

I don't see an evaporation stage anywhere in the diagram.

Later, to receive carbonated water, it first gets cooled down by the pipe and then merged with carbon dioxide.


Later, to receiveBefore being carbonated, the water, it first gets cooled down by the pipe and then merged with carbon dioxids cooled by flowing through a cooling pipe.

The final step of making the drinks is to put the acid water into a mixing tank, which contains some certain amounts of coloring, syrup and flavor.


The final step of making the drinks is to put the aciIn the third stage, the resulting carbonated water inflows to a mixing tank, which contains some certain amounts of coloring, syrup and flavor.

At the fourth stage, the drinks will be filtered one last time and then be filled into the plastic bottles or cans.


AtIn the fourth stage, the drinks will beresulting carbonated beverage passes through another filtered one last time and then be filled into the plasticis bottlesd or cansned.

The fifth and also the final stage of the process is packing and delivering the beverages to be on sell.


The fifth and also the final stage of the process is the packing and delivering of the beverages to be on sellottled or canned beverage for later sale at supermarkets.

You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.

Go Premium