Dec. 12, 2022
IELTS Writing Practice 3
Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences. Thank you.
Topic: The chart below (see the attachment) shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
_____
The bar chart illustrates five means of transportation young children choose to commute between home and school from 1990 to 2010, namely walking, cycling, by car, by bus or even a combine with taking the bus and walking.
In 1990, approximately twice as much as other approaches, over 12 million of the young students walked to school. However, traveling to and from school on foot became less popular in 2010, which went down by 50 percent. It was going to school by car which took the largest proportion, with over 2.5 times of increase.
The overall trend of ways to school from 1990 to 2010 went down noticeably, except for car passenger, which was the only increasing one. Back to 1990, riding a bike, taking a bus or go with bus and walk had about 6 million trips per year. Twenty years later, the number of these three choices changed, with 2 million of pupils cycling, 3 millions of young children walking and taking the bus, and 5 million times of taking bus solo.
IELTS Writing Practice 3
Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences.
Thank you.
Topic: The chart below (see the attachment) shows the number of trips made by children to and from school in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
_____
The bar chart illustrates five means of transportation by which young children choose to commuted between home and school fromin 1990 toand 2010, namely: walking, cycling, by car, by bus or even a combine with taking theation of bus and walking.
The data come from two years only, 1990 and 2010, instead of a span of years from 1990 to 2010.
In 1990, approximately twice as muchany as other approac others, over 12 million of the young students walked to school.
However, tTraveling to and from school on foot, however, became less popular in 2010, which went downen it decreased by 50 percent.
We avoid beginning a sentence with "however."
It was gGoing to school by car which took the largest proportion, withincreased the most by over 2.5 times of increase.
The overall trend of ways to school from 1990 to 2010transportation went down noticeably, except for car passenger, which was the only increasing one car whose use was the only one which increased.
Back toIn 1990, riding a bike, taking a bus or go witha combination of taking a bus and walk haing totaled about 6 million trips per year.
Twenty years later, the number ofs for these three choicmodes changed, with 2 million of pupils cycling, 3 millions of young children walking and taking thea bus, and 5 million times of taking a bus soloonly.
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Good work.
Dec. 13, 2022
Thank you!
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IELTS Writing Practice 3 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Thank you. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Topic: The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. |
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Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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_____ This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The bar chart illustrates five means of transportation young children choose to commute between home and school from 1990 to 2010, namely walking, cycling, by car, by bus or even a combine with taking the bus and walking. The bar chart illustrates five means of transportation by which young children The data come from two years only, 1990 and 2010, instead of a span of years from 1990 to 2010. |
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In 1990, approximately twice as much as other approaches, over 12 million of the young students walked to school. In 1990, approximately twice as m |
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However, traveling to and from school on foot became less popular in 2010, which went down by 50 percent.
We avoid beginning a sentence with "however." |
|
It was going to school by car which took the largest proportion, with over 2.5 times of increase.
|
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The overall trend of ways to school from 1990 to 2010 went down noticeably, except for car passenger, which was the only increasing one. The overall trend of |
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Back to 1990, riding a bike, taking a bus or go with bus and walk had about 6 million trips per year.
|
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Twenty years later, the number of these three choices changed, with 2 million of pupils cycling, 3 millions of young children walking and taking the bus, and 5 million times of taking bus solo. Twenty years later, the number |
|
Topic: The chart below (see the attachment) shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Topic: The chart below (see the attachment) shows the number of trips made by children to and from school in one country in 1990 and 2010 |
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