Dec. 9, 2022
IELTS Writing Practice 2
I’m not sure if the last reason is suitable or even reasonable to support my view point but I can’t come up with any other idea. Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences. Thank you!
(Topic: The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?)
As the technical improvements in vehicles, automobiles have become more and more common in the UK. Some people may consider it an issue that needed to be monitored and controlled by the government, while others suggest that we encourage different means of transportation to lower the congestion. From my viewpoint, I agree with the legislation imposed on the cars to limit the amount of driver and develop more ways of transport to enhance the efficiency of traffic.
First of all, the rising wealth makes the vehicles become more affordable to every household, which means the number of cars are getting higher. To protect the rights and safety of the increasing drivers and pedestrians, the well-rounded laws and restrictions are needed.
Secondly, to achieve the concept and meet the main stream of the environmental protection, government should invest more in the instruction of, for example, bus stops, MRT stations, trains, etc. This policy may reduce the emission of fumes and lower the burden of traffic on the road by raising the willingness and making the transportation system more convenience for the residents and commuters.
Last but not least, the number of death and injury cases caused by car accidents remains high. This could be a reason why we should reduce or set an upper limit of cars running outside since other approaches of travelling, such as bus and trains, are relatively safer.
In conclusion, I consider the total amount of vehicles on the road should be overseen by the government to enhance traffic efficiency and reduce the car accidents. Also, more public transport should be built so as to slow down the global warming process and contribute to a way more sustainable society for our ancestors.
As theDue to technical improvements in vehicles, automobiles have become more and more common in the UK.
Some people may consider it an issue that neededs to be monitored and controlled by the government, while others suggest that we encourage different means of transportation to lower the congestion.
From my viewpoint, I agree with the legislation imposed on the cars to limit the amount of drivers and develop more ways of transport to enhance the efficiency of traffic.
First of all, the rising wealth makes the vehicles become more affordable to every household, which means the number of cars are getting higher.
This is how I'd write it:
First of all, the rise in general wealth means that vehicles are becoming more affordable to a greater number of households, which is causing a rise in the number of cars.
To protect the rights and safety of the increasing drivers and pedestrians, the well-rounded laws and restrictions are needed.
Secondly, to achieve the concept and meet the main stream of the environmental protection, the government should invest more in the iconstruction of, for example, bus stops, MRT stations, trains, etc.
"...the concept and meet the mainstream of the environmental protection..."
This part was unclear in its meaning.
This policy may reduce the emission of fumes and lower the burden of traffic on the road by raising the willingness and making the transportation systemof the public to take public transport by making it more conveniencet for the residents and commuters.
Last but not least, the number of deaths and injury casies caused by car accidents remains high.
This could be a reason why we should reduce or set an upper limit of cars running outside since other approachemethods of travelling, such as bus and trains, are relatively safer.
In conclusion, I considerthink the total amount of vehicles on the road should be overseen by the government to enhance traffic efficiency and reduce the car accidents.
Also, more public transport should be built so as to slow down the global warming process and contribute to a way more sustainable society for our ancestordescendants.
"way more" is colloquial.
Feedback
Your writing is extremely strong!
Dec. 10, 2022
Secondly, to achieve the concept and meet the main stream of the environmental protection, the government should invest more in the iconstruction of, for example, bus stops, MRT stations, trains, etc.
I want to say something like, the concept of eco-friendly and environmental protection has been accepted by more and more people nowadays and they are willing to make good use of the public transport if the transportation systems are well-established.
Dec. 10, 2022
Thank you very much!
Dec. 12, 2022
Secondly, to achieve the concept and meet the main stream of the environmental protection, the government should invest more in the iconstruction of, for example, bus stops, MRT stations, trains, etc.
I tried to rewrite the sentence as below:
Secondly, as global citizens, we should consider more about climate changes and related issues. Therefore, the government should invest more in the construction of, for example, bus stops, MRT stations, trains, etc.
Dec. 13, 2022
I tried to rewrite the sentence as below: Secondly, as global citizens, we should consider more about climate changes and related issues. Therefore, the government should invest more in the construction of, for example, bus stops, MRT stations, trains, etc.
This is a clearer sentence. Good job!
|
IELTS Writing Practice 2 |
|
I’m not sure if the last reason is suitable or even reasonable to support my view point but I can’t come up with any other idea. |
|
Please give me some advice on the essay or even refine the sentences. |
|
Thank you! |
|
(Topic: The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree? ) |
|
As the technical improvements in vehicles, automobiles have become more and more common in the UK.
|
|
Some people may consider it an issue that needed to be monitored and controlled by the government, while others suggest that we encourage different means of transportation to lower the congestion. Some people may consider it an issue that need |
|
From my viewpoint, I agree with the legislation imposed on the cars to limit the amount of driver and develop more ways of transport to enhance the efficiency of traffic. From my viewpoint, I agree with the legislation imposed on the cars to limit the amount of drivers and develop more ways of transport to enhance the efficiency of traffic. |
|
First of all, the rising wealth makes the vehicles become more affordable to every household, which means the number of cars are getting higher. First of all, the rising wealth makes the vehicles become more affordable to every household, which means the number of cars are getting higher. This is how I'd write it: First of all, the rise in general wealth means that vehicles are becoming more affordable to a greater number of households, which is causing a rise in the number of cars. |
|
To protect the rights and safety of the increasing drivers and pedestrians, the well-rounded laws and restrictions are needed. To protect the rights and safety of the increasing drivers and pedestrians, |
|
Secondly, to achieve the concept and meet the main stream of the environmental protection, government should invest more in the instruction of, for example, bus stops, MRT stations, trains, etc. Secondly, to achieve the concept and meet the main "...the concept and meet the mainstream of the environmental protection..." This part was unclear in its meaning. |
|
This policy may reduce the emission of fumes and lower the burden of traffic on the road by raising the willingness and making the transportation system more convenience for the residents and commuters. This policy may reduce the emission of fumes and lower the burden of traffic on the road by raising the willingness |
|
Last but not least, the number of death and injury cases caused by car accidents remains high. Last but not least, the number of deaths and injur |
|
This could be a reason why we should reduce or set an upper limit of cars running outside since other approaches of travelling, such as bus and trains, are relatively safer. This could be a reason why we should reduce or set an upper limit of cars running outside since other |
|
In conclusion, I consider the total amount of vehicles on the road should be overseen by the government to enhance traffic efficiency and reduce the car accidents. In conclusion, I |
|
Also, more public transport should be built so as to slow down the global warming process and contribute to a way more sustainable society for our ancestors. Also, more public transport should be built so as to slow down the global warming process and contribute to a "way more" is colloquial. |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium