IELTS wWriting on 2023/04/18/2023

mm/dd/yyyy is one of the formats we use in the US. Others are the following:

mm-dd-yy
mm-dd-yyyy
mm/dd/yy

IMPORTANTmportant!

We avoid using all caps because we think someone is yelling at us when they use them. In the US, mostly senior citizens tend to use them regularly.

PLEASE READ THE NATIVE TEXT SECTION FIRSTlease read the original text in the Notes section first.

This sounds more natural in the US.

You can also use this format to bring attention to instructions:

***Please read the original text in the Notes section first.***

THANK YOUhank you!

Nowadays, with the risenrising productivity, there is no doubt that the amount of goods circulating oin the market is increasing.

While some people argue that consumers buying more- than- enough products is normal, I believe the high consumption may be caused by alluring advertisements.

Due to the advancement of technology, advertisements have become more attractive and have beenare shown in different media forms, which can influence people more frequently.

For example, since the beginning of the first decade in the 21st century, smartphones have become the most portable device that everyone carries.

We can see ads on our phones oncewhen we open up an application.

If there ishas been no impact on users after various companies implemented advertising system in our daily-usein our everyday softwares, then there should have already been no waiting sponsoring time when we watch a video on YouTube. wait time for advertisements at the beginning of YouTube videos already would have been eliminated.

subjunctive tense

In this Internet golden eraGolden Era of the Internet, connecting with others is surprisingly easy and convenient, so recommendations among friends and family can be considered as a form of advertising, too.

If our closest friends showed us a new delicious premadepared food inat a party, we will probably buy it again for the next gathering.

The same is true when our family calleds us and light-heartedly mentioneds the effective medicine which cured their illness.

To conclude, people are buying commodities more than is necessary, and many of them ended up as wasted.

Although there are other factors regardaffecting this, I think advertising propels this process even quicker.

Nowadays, with the risenrising levels of productivity, there is no doubt that the amount of goods circulating on the market is increasing.

You can also just say "the amount of goods in circulation is increasing"

While some people argue that consumers buying more- than-enough products what they need is normal, I believe the high consumption may be caused by alluringdue to the effects of advertisementsing.

You can also use the word "overconsumption" to refer to "people buying more than what they need" with a negative nuance.

"may be caused by..." is a fine expression, however "due to the..." is a bit more strong and authoritative sounding.

Due to the advancement ofs in technology, advertisementsing haves become more attractive and have been shown in different media formsstarted appearing in many different forms of media, which can influence people more frequenteasily.

"pervasive" would be a good word to use here.

For example, since the beginning of the first decade in 21st century, smartphones have become the most portable device tha2010's, almost everyone carries smartphones.

"Since the 2010's, smartphones have become ubiquitous" would fit great here!

We canonstantly see ads on our phones once we open up an applicationinside of apps.

Nowadays, specifically when referring to a phone application, we tend to say "app", even in more written or formal contexts. "Application" has fallen a bit out of fashion!

If there is no impact on users after various companies implemented advertising system in our daily-use softwares, then there should have already been no waiting sponsoring time when we watch a video on YouTube.

I'm not 100% sure what you mean with this sentence.

In this Internet golden eragolden age of the Internet, connecting with others ishas become surprisingly easy and convenient, so recommendation among friends and family can be considered as aword of mouth can be seen as another form of advertising, too.

"word of mouth" is basically what you were referring to.

If our closest friends showed us a new delicious premadestore bought food inat a party, we will probably buy it again for the next gathering.

I'm not sure what you mean with "premade food" here, but I'm going to guess that you mean food bought at a shop or something like that. If not, maybe a word like "takeout" would fit better?

The same is true for when oura family called us and light-heartedly mentioned the effectivemember informs us of a medicine which cured theiran illness of theirs.

To conclude, people are buying more commodities more than necessary, and many of them ended up wasted.

Although there are other factors regarding thisat play, I think advertising propelaccelerates this process even quickermore.

"factors at play" is a set expression here.