March 8, 2021
I plan to go to New York
I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars. It's a guitar shop that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New York. If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it.
I plan to go to New York
I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars.
It's a guitar shop that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New York.
If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it.
Feedback
花丸です！すごいですね。
I plan to go to New York
I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars.
It's a guitar shop in New York, that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New Yorkthat have been demolished.
Only a suggested re-phrasing, not a correction. It's not wrong, but "demolished local buildings in New York" reads awkwardly to me. You can pile up adjectives together like that, but sometimes it's better to avoid it... perhaps especially so if one of them is a participle.
If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it.
March 9, 2021
Thank you very much. Your comment I learned a lot.
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I plan to go to New York This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's a guitar shop that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New York. It's a guitar shop in New York, that makes guitars out of scrap wood from Only a suggested re-phrasing, not a correction. It's not wrong, but "demolished local buildings in New York" reads awkwardly to me. You can pile up adjectives together like that, but sometimes it's better to avoid it... perhaps especially so if one of them is a participle. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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