When I payid I accidently put my phone on the counter and left without noticing.

Luckily, I remembered that I had put it on the checkout counter in the grocery store, so I went. I then drove back to the store immediately.

You don’t need “immedately”. The “then” implies it.

When I payid, I accidentally put my phone on the counter and left without noticing.

And I drove for about 15 minutes, and then when I was going to listen to music, I realized that iI didn't have my phone.

I rushed and asked a shop assistant that if there was a phone around the checkout counter and she said "yes."

I was like, "Thanks gaod!!!"

She said, "bBefore you receiveI give it back, can I ask some questions?"

She asked me, "Does your phone hasve something particular like a cover, strap, or something?"

I said there was a sticker on the back, and then she brought me "my phone".

They said, "Please call your phone because we want to make sure if it's trueyours," and I called my phone.

When I payid I accidentally put my phone on the counter and left without noticing.

And I drove for about 15 minutes, then when I was going to listen to music I realized that iI didn't have my phone.

Luckily, I remembered that I put it on the checkout counter in the grocery store, so I went back to the store immediately.

I was like "Thanks gaod!!!"

She said "bBefore you receiveI give it back to you, can I ask you some questions?"

In these cases, the emphasis should be more on the giving instead of the receiving.

She asked me "Does your phone hasve something particular like a cover, strap or something?"

I said there was a sticker on the back, t. Then she brought me "my phone".

They said "Please call your phone because we want to make sure if it's truereally yours." and I called my phone.

I think this wording would be a bit more natural.

I Left my Phone at a Checkout Counter in aat the Grocery Store

"in a" is OK, but "at the" is a little more natural.

When I payid, I accidentally put my phone on the counter and left without noticing.

And I drove for about 15 minutes, then when I was going to listen to music I realized that i didn't have my phone.

It's a little more natural without "And," since you use "then when" in the same sentence.

Luckily, I remembered that I put it on the checkout counter in the grocery store, so I went back to the store immediately.

I rushed in and asked a shop assistant that if there was a phone around the checkout counter and she said "yes."

I was like "Thanks gaod!!!"

She said "before you receiveI get it for you, can I ask some questions?"

She asked me "Does your phone hasve something particular like a cover, strap or something?"

I said there was a sticker on the back, then she brought me "my phone".

They said, "Please call your phone because we want to make sure if it's trueyours," and I called my phone.

I Left mMy Phone at a Checkout Counter in a Grocery Store

When I payid, I accidentally put my phone on the counter and left without noticing.

And I drove for about 15 minutes, thenand when I was going to listen toabout to turn on some music, I realized that iI didn't have my phone anymore.

Luckily, I remembered that I had put it on the checkout counter in the grocery store, so I went back to the sore immediately.

I rushed andhurriedly asked a shop assistant that if there wasif she had seen a phone around the checkout counter and she said "yes."

I was like "Thanks gaod!!!"

She saidthen asked, "bBefore you receiveI give it back, can I ask some questions?"

aAnd she asked about my phone.

She asked me, "Does your phone hasve something particular like a cover, strap or somethingunique about it, like a cover or strap?"

I said there was a sticker on the back, thenand she brought me "my phone".

They said, "Please call your phone because we want to make sure if it's true" andreally yours," so I called my phone.

My phone rang, and I finally receivedgot my phone back.

When I payed I accidentally put my phone on the counter and left without noticing.

And I drove for about 15 minutes, then whenas I was going to listen to music I realized that iI didn't have my phone.

"when I was going to listen to music" still makes sense, but using "as" sounds better. Starting sentences with "and" isn't actually incorrect but sometimes it can just look a little strange.

Luckily, I remembered that I put it on the checkout counter in the grocery store, so I went back to the store immediately.

I was like "Thanks ga God!!!"

She said "before you receiveI find it for you, can I ask some questions?"

"before you recieve (it)" isn't technically incorrect but it sounds strange. It sounds more natural to say something like "before I find it" or "before i give it to you".

She asked me "Does your phone hasve something particular like a cover, strap or something?"

I said there was a sticker on the back, then she brought me "my phone".

They said "Please call your phone because we want to make sure if it's true" and I called my phone.