Feb. 18, 2022
Human's Freedom and Slavery
“Human” have learned how to use water, fire, earth, wood, and metal to create tools for survival since they possessed consciousness. We discover the mysteries of this world like a child. In the joy of learning, we fight, fall, get hurt, fear and cry. (Ancient Ages)
Human now has become rich, like a preteen. Some of them like to be a leader, when he thinks he should be so powerful and needed by others, he turns into a disaster for everyone, at this time human struggle to figure out what he actually is, through fighting and bullying. (Feudal period or Middle Ages)
Now "human" is a handsome young man. There are "you" and "me" among them, and they fire at each other for their own interests, but in the end, all of them go home with bruised faces, and all of them are wounded more than loaded with booties. （Geographical Discovery Period）
my mother told me that when a person is at his best, he is often the most self-absorbed. He will not notice where his comfort is leading, because what benefits him also prevents him from seeing what is on the road ahead. （The age of technology）
Humanity's Freedom and Slavery
Since possessing consciousness, “Humans” have learned how to use water, fire, earth, wood, and metal to create tools for survival since they possessed consciousness.
Human= singular
have learned = plural
probably better to say "humanity" instead of "humans" and change the verb to singular. "Humanity has learned..."
In the joy of learning, we fight, fall, get hurt, fearbecome afraid and cry.
although "fear" is a verb, it is usually only used as such in certain situations, and rarely.
(This is Ancient AgTimes)
I don't know why we say Ancient Times instead of Ancient Ages, but we.... or maybe "The Ancient Age" in a textbook. Maybe.
Humanity now has become rich, like a preteen.
"now has" is good for written work; spoken we would always say "has now"
Some of them like to be a leader, when hes. They thinks they should be so powerful and needed by others, whiche turns intoout to be a disaster for everyone, a. At this time humanity struggles to figure out what heit actually is, through fighting and bullying.
"some" = plural
(This is the Feudal pPeriod or Middle Ages)
Now "humanity" is a handsome young man.
There are "you" and "me" among themhumanity, and they fire aght each other for their own intereststo get what they want, but in the end, all of themeveryone goes home with bruised faces, and all of them are. Everyone is wounded but more than loaded with bootiesy.
This is difficulty because "Humanity" is singular and personified, but you are talked about individuals within humanity. To combine these two would be very difficult even for me.
"booty" = treasure, goods. Doesn't really make sense coming off talking about them fighting. Something needs to be in there to link them: "They are all injured, but in the fight there is more than enough booty to go around" or something
（the Geographical Discovery Period）
mMy mother told me that when a person is at his best, he is often the most self-absorbed.
Feedback
Interesting content! The creativity in communicating this gets pretty tricky, as I noted, but you put in a good try.
Feb. 23, 2022
I learnt a lot from your comments and they are very helpful to me! Thank you so much kstrock. :- D
|
Human's Freedom and Slavery Humanity's Freedom and Slavery |
|
“Human” have learned how to use water, fire, earth, wood, and metal to create tools for survival since they possessed consciousness. Since possessing consciousness, “Humans” have learned how to use water, fire, earth, wood, and metal to create tools for survival Human= singular have learned = plural probably better to say "humanity" instead of "humans" and change the verb to singular. "Humanity has learned..." |
|
We discover the mysteries of this world like a child. |
|
In the joy of learning, we fight, fall, get hurt, fear and cry. In the joy of learning, we fight, fall, get hurt, although "fear" is a verb, it is usually only used as such in certain situations, and rarely. |
|
(Ancient Ages) (This is Ancient I don't know why we say Ancient Times instead of Ancient Ages, but we.... or maybe "The Ancient Age" in a textbook. Maybe. |
|
Human now has become rich, like a preteen. Humanity now has become rich, like a preteen. "now has" is good for written work; spoken we would always say "has now" |
|
Some of them like to be a leader, when he thinks he should be so powerful and needed by others, he turns into a disaster for everyone, at this time human struggle to figure out what he actually is, through fighting and bullying. Some of them like to be "some" = plural |
|
(Feudal period or Middle Ages) (This is the Feudal |
|
Now "human" is a handsome young man. Now "humanity" is a handsome young man. |
|
There are "you" and "me" among them, and they fire at each other for their own interests, but in the end, all of them go home with bruised faces, and all of them are wounded more than loaded with booties. There are "you" and "me" among This is difficulty because "Humanity" is singular and personified, but you are talked about individuals within humanity. To combine these two would be very difficult even for me. "booty" = treasure, goods. Doesn't really make sense coming off talking about them fighting. Something needs to be in there to link them: "They are all injured, but in the fight there is more than enough booty to go around" or something |
|
（Geographical Discovery Period） （the Geographical Discovery Period） |
|
my mother told me that when a person is at his best, he is often the most self-absorbed.
|
|
He will not notice where his comfort is leading, because what benefits him also prevents him from seeing what is on the road ahead. |
|
（The age of technology） |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium