July 18, 2024
"It's not a life if there is no hurdle."
All we have been experiencing stress, especially when we're overwhelmed or challenged. Stress is hardwired physical response that travels throughout entire our body. In the short term, stress can be advantageous which helps improve our cognitive function. But if it occurs frequently, it can harm our body in a variety of ways.
To understand how stress occurs, it starts from the adrenal gland which is connected with the kidneys. When we're facing with a real seriously problem, adrenal gland will release stress hormones into the bloodstream, they are adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine.
As these hormones reached the heart, they make it beats faster, causing hypertension. And when stress becomes chronic, it may create some fatty plaques inside the vein which is called the early stage of atherosclerosis.
Simultaneously, these hormones reached our brain, making it send signals to the intestinal nervous system that you need more energy to get over the challenge. Then the stomach will release more digestive juice, causing butterflies and heartburn.
By the way, cortisol enhances our appetite, making us to crave high carbs and fatty food which cause other chronic diseases like obesity, diabetes,...
In general, stress can not be erase out of our body, we need to learn how to live with it and by somehow take advantage of its benefits. If you can curb and keep stress in control, in the short term you will perform better and in the long term you will live longer.
How stress affects ourthe body.
It's weird to say "our body," as it implies that we all share the same one. Instead, you can use "the" to describe "body" generally. If you want to use "our," just make "body" plural: "How stress affects our bodies."
"It's not a life if there is noaren't any hurdles."
I would just make "hurdles" plural, since people aren't facing just one bad thing in their lives --- they're facing many.
All wWe have beenall experiencinged stress, especially when we're overwhelmed or challenged.
The way this sentence begins is a little awkward because it almost feels like you're about to say something like, "All we have been experiencing is stress," which means that the only thing you've been experiencing is stress.
Stress is hardwired physical response that travels throughout our entire our body.
I would just switch the two words here.
In the short term, stress can be advantageous which, as it helps improve our cognitive function.
But if it occurs frequently, it can harm our body in a variety of ways.
To understand how stress occurs, itStress starts from the adrenal gland, which is connected withto the kidneys.
With your sentence starter, is sounds like you're going to say something like, "To understand how stress occurs, we first have to understand how the body functions." You don't need that kind of explanation, so you can jump straight into explaining how stress occurs.
When we're facinged with a real seriously problem, the adrenal gland will release stress hormones into the bloodstream, they are: adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine.
I took it out completely, but it should also be noted that you should use "really" instead of "real." "Real" is only used in speech.
As these hormones reached the heart, they make i heart beats faster, causing hypertension.
And when stress becomes chronic, it may create some fatty plaques inside the vein, which is called thean early stage of atherosclerosis.
Simultaneously, these hormones reached our brain, and makinge it send signals to the intestinal nervous system to communicate that you need more energy to get over the challengeovercome the situation.
ThenAs a side-effect, the stomach will releases more digestive juicefluids, causing butterflies and heartburn.
I'm assuming your intention with your writing with this one. Since the effects the hormones have on the stomach aren't positive, I would use "side-effect." I changed "juice" to "fluids" since it sounds more academic.
By the wayAs a side note, cortisol enhances our appetite, making us to crave high carbs and fatty food, which cause othern cause chronic diseases like obesity, diabetes,...such as diabetes and obesity.
"By the way" is very casual, and I wouldn't add it to this. In general, I would've explained this when you first mentioned cortisol, but if you wanted to keep the structure as it is, I think "as a side note" is at least a little better than "by the way." You don't need to add "other" since cortisol isn't a chronic disease. I switched "obesity" and "diabetes" around because it intuitively makes more sense to me, but it is by no means a necessary change. Since you're giving an example of chronic diseases, it's okay to only list the too. "Such as" also sounds more formal than "like."
In gGenerally, stress can not be erase out ofd from our body,ies, and we need to learn how to live with it and by somehow take advantage of its benefits.
If you can curb and keep stress inunder control, in the short term, you will perform better, and in the long term, you will live longer.
The commas make it much more legible.
Feedback
I'm impressed that you're talking about such a subject! I think you have a pretty good understanding of English, so keep at it 👍
"It's not a life if there is no hurdle."
This isn't wrong, but it sounds a little awkward. I would say "if there are no hurdles". You could also say "There's no life without hurdles".
All we have beenWe all experiencinge stress, especially when we're overwhelmed or challenged.
Stress is a hardwired physical response that travels throughout our entire our body.
In the short term, stress can be advantageous whichas it helps improve our cognitive function.
To understand how stress occurs, iwe need to focus on how it begins. It starts from the adrenal gland, which is connected with the kidneys.
The first part of the sentence doesn't relate to the rest of the sentence.
When we're facing with a reala very seriously problem, the adrenal gland will release stress hormones into the bloodstream, they. These are adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine.
AsWhen these hormones reached the heart, they make it beats faster, causing hypertension.
And when stress becomes chronic, it may create someause the build-up of fatty plaques inside the veins, which is called the early stage of atherosclerosis.
"inside the vein" suggest it only happening in one vein
Simultaneously, these hormones reached our brain, making it send signals to the intestinal nervous system that you need more energy to get over the challenge.
Then the stomach will release more digestive juice, causing butterflies and heartburnheartburn and a burning sensation in the stomach.
"butterflies" doesn't really fit with the formality of the rest of this text. I more associate "butterflies" with feeling nervous, often in an excited way. I don't think I've seen it used in a medical context.
By the waAdditionally, cortisol enhancincreases our appetite, making us to crave high carbs and fatty food which. This causes other chronic diseases likesuch as obesity, and diabetes,...
"By the way" is quite casual and doesn't fit well with the rest of the text.
"enhances" suggests it improves our appetite.
"..." doesn't match the formality of the text.
In general, stress can not be erase out ofd from our body,ies: we need to learn how to live with it, and by somehow to take advantage of its benefits.
You could also say "In conclusion"
If you can curb it and keep stress inunder control, in the short -term you will perform better, and in the long -term you will live longer.
Feedback
Good bit of writing, well done!
How stress affects our body. How stress affects It's weird to say "our body," as it implies that we all share the same one. Instead, you can use "the" to describe "body" generally. If you want to use "our," just make "body" plural: "How stress affects our bodies." |
"It's not a life if there is no hurdle." "It's not a life if there is no hurdle." This isn't wrong, but it sounds a little awkward. I would say "if there are no hurdles". You could also say "There's no life without hurdles". "It's not a life if there I would just make "hurdles" plural, since people aren't facing just one bad thing in their lives --- they're facing many. |
All we have been experiencing stress, especially when we're overwhelmed or challenged.
The way this sentence begins is a little awkward because it almost feels like you're about to say something like, "All we have been experiencing is stress," which means that the only thing you've been experiencing is stress. |
Stress is hardwired physical response that travels throughout entire our body. Stress is a hardwired physical response that travels throughout our entire Stress is hardwired physical response that travels throughout our entire I would just switch the two words here. |
In the short term, stress can be advantageous which helps improve our cognitive function. In the short term, stress can be advantageous In the short term, stress can be advantageous |
But if it occurs frequently, it can harm our body in a variety of ways. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
To understand how stress occurs, it starts from the adrenal gland which is connected with the kidneys. To understand how stress occurs, The first part of the sentence doesn't relate to the rest of the sentence.
With your sentence starter, is sounds like you're going to say something like, "To understand how stress occurs, we first have to understand how the body functions." You don't need that kind of explanation, so you can jump straight into explaining how stress occurs. |
When we're facing with a real seriously problem, adrenal gland will release stress hormones into the bloodstream, they are adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine. When we're facing When we're fac I took it out completely, but it should also be noted that you should use "really" instead of "real." "Real" is only used in speech. |
As these hormones reached the heart, they make it beats faster, causing hypertension.
As these hormones reach |
And when stress becomes chronic, it may create some fatty plaques inside the vein which is called the early stage of atherosclerosis. And when stress becomes chronic, it may c "inside the vein" suggest it only happening in one vein And when stress becomes chronic, it may create |
Simultaneously, these hormones reached our brain, making it send signals to the intestinal nervous system that you need more energy to get over the challenge. Simultaneously, these hormones reach Simultaneously, these hormones reach |
Then the stomach will release more digestive juice, causing butterflies and heartburn. Then the stomach will release more digestive juice, causing "butterflies" doesn't really fit with the formality of the rest of this text. I more associate "butterflies" with feeling nervous, often in an excited way. I don't think I've seen it used in a medical context.
I'm assuming your intention with your writing with this one. Since the effects the hormones have on the stomach aren't positive, I would use "side-effect." I changed "juice" to "fluids" since it sounds more academic. |
By the way, cortisol enhances our appetite, making us to crave high carbs and fatty food which cause other chronic diseases like obesity, diabetes,...
"By the way" is quite casual and doesn't fit well with the rest of the text. "enhances" suggests it improves our appetite. "..." doesn't match the formality of the text.
"By the way" is very casual, and I wouldn't add it to this. In general, I would've explained this when you first mentioned cortisol, but if you wanted to keep the structure as it is, I think "as a side note" is at least a little better than "by the way." You don't need to add "other" since cortisol isn't a chronic disease. I switched "obesity" and "diabetes" around because it intuitively makes more sense to me, but it is by no means a necessary change. Since you're giving an example of chronic diseases, it's okay to only list the too. "Such as" also sounds more formal than "like." |
In general, stress can not be erase out of our body, we need to learn how to live with it and by somehow take advantage of its benefits. In general, stress can not be erase You could also say "In conclusion"
|
If you can curb and keep stress in control, in the short term you will perform better and in the long term you will live longer. If you can curb it and keep stress If you can The commas make it much more legible. |
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