Solen's avatar
Solen

yesterday

13
How important is play?

Eighty years ago, before the World War II, children played with bombsides. It was a funny game for them.
Nowadays, adventure games back in fashion. Of course, it isn't with bombsides but with junks. Children create hidey-holes, etc.
According to a children-games specialist, it's a good thing. Indeed, it allows children to open their creativity.
Sometimes, the platforms can be a bit dangerous so it helps children being confident. Everybody like take risks.
To resume, this game is a necessity for them because a lot of things they will learn with that game will allow them to have a better behaviour for leadership. And with the qualities they will learn, for their future job it will be very helpfull.

Thanks a lot for reading my text. Please tell me how you found my English!

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nefare's avatar
1

Eighty years ago, before the World War II, children played with (bombsides?).

I'm not sure what you mean by "bombside," maybe "bombshell"?

It was a funny game for them.

Nowadays, adventure games are back in fashion.

Of course, it isn't with bombsideshells, but with junks.

"Junk" is treated as uncountable

Children create hidey-holes, etc.

According to a children-'s games specialist, it's a good thing.

Indeed, it allows children to openexpand their creativity.

"Expand" fits more naturally with "creativity"

Sometimes, the (platforms?) can be a bit dangerous, so ithis helps children beingto be confident.

I got a little lost on what we are talking about. With the words "games" and "platforms," I think immediately about video games. But since you were speaking about bombshells (I think) and junk, you probably mean physical dangerous areas. If so, I would replace "the platforms" with "these areas."

Everybody likes takeing risks.

To resummarize, thisese game iss are a necessity for them because a lot of things they will learn with that game will allow them to have a better behaviour fordevelop leadership skills.

"Resume" is a faux ami. In English, "to resume" is like "reprendre." We also stole the French word "résumé" to describe our CV (American English)

A bit more editing to sound more natural

And with the qualitieskills they will learn, for their future jobs, it will be very helpfull.

Thanks a lot for reading my text.

Please tell me how you found my English!

Feedback

Great job

ghelgheli's avatar
1

How important is play?

Eighty years ago, before the World War II, children played with bombsides.

Not sure what a "bombside" is. Looking it up isn't yielding anything.

It was a funny game for them.

Nowadays, adventure games back in fashion.

Of course, it isn't with bombsides but with junks.

What do you mean by "junks"? Random objects? Things like sticks and rocks?

Children create hidey-holes, etc.

According to a children's-games specialist, it's a good thing.

Indeed, it allows children to open their creativity.

Sometimes, the platforms can be a bit dangerous so it helps children being confident.

When you say "the" it implies we already know what's being talked about. What are "the platforms"?

Everybody likes to take risks.

To resumeMoreover, thisese game is are necessitary for them because a lot of the things they will learn withfrom thate games will allow them to have a better behaviour for leadership roles.

And with the qualities they will learn, will be very helpful for their future job it will be very helpfull.

Thanks a lot for reading my text.

Please tell me how you found my English!

Feedback

This was an interesting and informative explanation! It was mostly clear, but there were a few places where I wasn't sure what it was you were referring to.

How important is play?

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Eighty years ago, before the World War II, children played with bombsides.

Eighty years ago, before the World War II, children played with bombsides.

Not sure what a "bombside" is. Looking it up isn't yielding anything.

Eighty years ago, before the World War II, children played with (bombsides?).

I'm not sure what you mean by "bombside," maybe "bombshell"?

It was a funny game for them.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Nowadays, adventure games back in fashion.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Nowadays, adventure games are back in fashion.

Of course, it isn't with bombsides but with junks.

Of course, it isn't with bombsides but with junks.

What do you mean by "junks"? Random objects? Things like sticks and rocks?

Of course, it isn't with bombsideshells, but with junks.

"Junk" is treated as uncountable

Children create hidey-holes, etc.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

According to a children-games specialist, it's a good thing.

According to a children's-games specialist, it's a good thing.

According to a children-'s games specialist, it's a good thing.

Indeed, it allows children to open their creativity.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Indeed, it allows children to openexpand their creativity.

"Expand" fits more naturally with "creativity"

Sometimes, the platforms can be a bit dangerous so it helps children being confident.

Sometimes, the platforms can be a bit dangerous so it helps children being confident.

When you say "the" it implies we already know what's being talked about. What are "the platforms"?

Sometimes, the (platforms?) can be a bit dangerous, so ithis helps children beingto be confident.

I got a little lost on what we are talking about. With the words "games" and "platforms," I think immediately about video games. But since you were speaking about bombshells (I think) and junk, you probably mean physical dangerous areas. If so, I would replace "the platforms" with "these areas."

Please tell me how you found my English!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Everybody like take risks.

Everybody likes to take risks.

Everybody likes takeing risks.

To resume, this game is a necessity for them because a lot of things they will learn with that game will allow them to have a better behaviour for leadership.

To resumeMoreover, thisese game is are necessitary for them because a lot of the things they will learn withfrom thate games will allow them to have a better behaviour for leadership roles.

To resummarize, thisese game iss are a necessity for them because a lot of things they will learn with that game will allow them to have a better behaviour fordevelop leadership skills.

"Resume" is a faux ami. In English, "to resume" is like "reprendre." We also stole the French word "résumé" to describe our CV (American English) A bit more editing to sound more natural

And with the qualities they will learn, for their future job it will be very helpfull.

And with the qualities they will learn, will be very helpful for their future job it will be very helpfull.

And with the qualitieskills they will learn, for their future jobs, it will be very helpfull.

Thanks a lot for reading my text.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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