Liderkarga's avatar
Liderkarga

July 28, 2025

0
How did the money counting machine arrive to Turkiye?

Today, a lot of bank, company and jewellery store use the money counting machine. Many Turk people don’t know who brought it. He name is Dikran Masis.
One day, when Dikran Masis went to bank, saw the bank personal. Bank personal was trying to count lots of money. And, he asked him “ Isn’t there any machine for that job? “ and he called to his sister. He asked her to find a factory for improving a similar machine. He spent all money for this job.
Money counting machine was in Turkiye. He marketed to banks. He was making lots of money. He saw the opportunies and he had real entrepreneurship story…

Corrections

How did the money counting machine arrive toin Turkiye?

"arrive" is normally used as "arrive in" or "arrive at". "arrive in" is more for talking about the interior of a place, so is usually used for countries, while "arrive at" is more focused on a specific point in space (e.g. "arrive at the border").

Today, a lot of banks, companyies and jewellerys store use the money counting machine.

Many (Turkish people, Turks) don’t know who brought it to Turkey.

"Turkish people" or "Turks" when we're talking about individuals.

Heis name is Dikran Masis.

You need a possessive pronoun when talking about something belonging a person (like their name). The plain pronoun is used with actions/verbs like "he (is/was) called Dikran Masis"

One day, when Dikran Masis went to the bank, he saw the bank personalemployee.

I think you meant "bank person" but it's better to use a more specific term like "employee".

Bank personalThe bank employee was trying to count lots of money.

And, heDikran asked him “ Isn’t there any machine for that job?

It's best not to use two pronouns that could refer to the same individual to refer to two different people.

“ and he called to his sister.

To call to someone = to yell out for someone to hear across a room or building

To call someone = to contact someone by phone or similar

He asked her to find a factory for improvbuilding a similar machine.

"improving the machine" would imply you already had a machine and were just adding features to it. But we're starting from a position of not having money counting machines, so it doesn't fit.

He spent all his money for this job.

Need to specify who's money

MThe money counting machine was in Turkiye.

He saw the opportunities and he had a real entrepreneurship story…

How did the money counting machine arrive toin Turkiye?

Today, a lot of banks, companyies and jewellery stores use the money counting machine.

"a lot of" should be followed by a plural noun.

Many Turkish people don’t know who brought it.

"Turk" is a noun, "Turkish" is an adjective.

Heis name is Dikran Masis.

One day, when Dikran Masis went to bank,the (or a) bank and saw the bank personalnel (better: staff, or if you can be more specific, a role like "teller").

BThe bank personanel was trying to count lots of money.

And, he asked him “ Isn’t there any machine for that job?

“ and he called to his sister.

"Called to" = said out loud, shouted.
"Called" = dialed on the phone.

He asked her to find a factory for improving (?) a similar machine.

Not sure what exactly you want to say by "improving." Inventing? Manufacturing?

He spent all money for this job.

Maybe "task" is better than job.

MSo the money counting machine was invented in Turkiye.

He marketed to banks.

He saw the opportunities and he had a real entrepreneurship story…

Feedback

Wow, I didn't know that! Thank you for sharing that story.

Although there are some small mistakes, overall this story is very understandable and is well-constructed.

Liderkarga's avatar
Liderkarga

July 28, 2025

0

Thank you !

How did the money counting machine arrive to Turkiye?


How did the money counting machine arrive toin Turkiye?

How did the money counting machine arrive toin Turkiye?

"arrive" is normally used as "arrive in" or "arrive at". "arrive in" is more for talking about the interior of a place, so is usually used for countries, while "arrive at" is more focused on a specific point in space (e.g. "arrive at the border").

Today, a lot of bank, company and jewellery store use the money counting machine.


Today, a lot of banks, companyies and jewellery stores use the money counting machine.

"a lot of" should be followed by a plural noun.

Today, a lot of banks, companyies and jewellerys store use the money counting machine.

Many Turk people don’t know who brought it.


Many Turkish people don’t know who brought it.

"Turk" is a noun, "Turkish" is an adjective.

Many (Turkish people, Turks) don’t know who brought it to Turkey.

"Turkish people" or "Turks" when we're talking about individuals.

He name is Dikran Masis.


Heis name is Dikran Masis.

Heis name is Dikran Masis.

You need a possessive pronoun when talking about something belonging a person (like their name). The plain pronoun is used with actions/verbs like "he (is/was) called Dikran Masis"

One day, when Dikran Masis went to bank, saw the bank personal.


One day, when Dikran Masis went to bank,the (or a) bank and saw the bank personalnel (better: staff, or if you can be more specific, a role like "teller").

One day, when Dikran Masis went to the bank, he saw the bank personalemployee.

I think you meant "bank person" but it's better to use a more specific term like "employee".

Bank personal was trying to count lots of money.


BThe bank personanel was trying to count lots of money.

Bank personalThe bank employee was trying to count lots of money.

And, he asked him “ Isn’t there any machine for that job?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And, heDikran asked him “ Isn’t there any machine for that job?

It's best not to use two pronouns that could refer to the same individual to refer to two different people.

“ and he called to his sister.


“ and he called to his sister.

"Called to" = said out loud, shouted. "Called" = dialed on the phone.

“ and he called to his sister.

To call to someone = to yell out for someone to hear across a room or building To call someone = to contact someone by phone or similar

He asked her to find a factory for improving a similar machine.


He asked her to find a factory for improving (?) a similar machine.

Not sure what exactly you want to say by "improving." Inventing? Manufacturing?

He asked her to find a factory for improvbuilding a similar machine.

"improving the machine" would imply you already had a machine and were just adding features to it. But we're starting from a position of not having money counting machines, so it doesn't fit.

He spent all money for this job.


He spent all money for this job.

Maybe "task" is better than job.

He spent all his money for this job.

Need to specify who's money

Money counting machine was in Turkiye.


MSo the money counting machine was invented in Turkiye.

MThe money counting machine was in Turkiye.

He marketed to banks.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He was making lots of money.


He saw the opportunies and he had real entrepreneurship story…


He saw the opportunities and he had a real entrepreneurship story…

He saw the opportunities and he had a real entrepreneurship story…

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