At thirdteen iI started to feel very stressed about feeling less in comparison to my class mates, that's when iso I started to study extra hours at home.

Turned out iI loved studying, iI loved learning, but iI was never smart enough.

Cut to highschool, iI was the smartest girl in the class, and the quieterst.

I, without even noticeing, made of my love for learning a personality trait, which is not at all wrong, but it became my -only- personality trait.

While my friends began to grow out of that middle school ghost and find themselves, iI was stuck.

Not only that, but suddenly iI realized that all my hard working was useless,; teachers loved me, my grades were undiscussabparalleled, but so what?

I'm not sure what word you meant to use here but 'undiscussable' doesn't really work.

The depression begins, ian. I didn't care anymore about anything, not grades, not learning, not even writing (which is my biggest passion), a. All iI could feel was anger for not receiving a reward aboutfrom all those years of denying finding myself for school, plu. Plus, there was the feeling of being in a shaking boat, and when there's a storm, i: I see another person in a boat next to me trying to get me out of that situation, but iI just can't hold itstheir hand.

I discovered that the teachers who loved me didn't care at all about my mental health, they just wanted the work done no matter what, so when iI refused they would act really disappointed at me.

I only gotstarted to get over it when iI accepted my humanity and stopped trying so hard to be perfect, n. Now iI'm a normal teenager, useless, weird and dumb, but iI'm so much happier.

And iI don't need to achieve the bestest of my brainmost, iI feel validated and happy just to be alive and a medium girl.