yesterday
Reading
This prompt brings me back to my childhood.
I have a sister who is two years older than me. But we didn't share much time playing together, because I was too good at talking and every time my parents asked me what we kids had done, I always told them everything. Sometimes the adults laughed around and sometimes they blamed my sister or her friends. Both of these situations weren't welcomed by my sister.
She didn't play with me anymore, so did her friends.
Then, I don't know how, I found fun with books.
That's the start of my reading, because the books always accompany me like a knowledgeable friend.
Reading
This prompt bremingds me back tof my childhood.
I have a sister who is two years older than me.
But we didn't share much timemost times we didn't playing together, because I was too good at talkingcan't keep secrets and every time my parents asked me what we kids had done, I always told them everything.
Sometimes the adults laughed aroundmake jest of us and sometimes they blamed my sister or her friends.
Both of these situations weren't welcomed by my sister.
She didn't play with me anymore, so did her friends.
Then, I don't know how, but I found fun withjoy in reading books.
That's thehow I start of myed reading, because the books always accompanyies me like a knowledgeable friend.
Feedback
That's sad 😢. I heard that young children can't keep secrets.
Reading
This prompt brings me back to my childhood.
I have a sister who is two years older than me.
But wWe didn't share much time playing together, that often because I was too good at talking and every time my parents asked me what we kids had done, I always told them everythingould always tell my parents what we did together when they asked.
This sentence doesn't clearly convey meaning independently. With the context of the other sentences, it makes sense, but ideally each sentence can stand on its own and be understood by the reader. The sentence is also a bit too long.
Sometimes the adultsy laughed around and, sometimes they blamed my sister or her friends.
"the adults" sounds weird in context, since you're referring to your parents. It's also not clear what your sister and her friends were being blamed for. Making messes? Being too loud? Breaking things?
Both of these situations weren't welcomed by my sister.
She didn'tstopped playing with me anymore,d so did her friends.
The usage of "so" is awkward in the original sentence. The word "so" conveys something additional happening, but you're using a negation (she did not play with me anymore). If you wanted to keep the negation, it would be less awkward if you wrote: "She didn't play with me anymore, and neither did her friends" because "neither" indicates an additional negative consequence.
If you switch it to "she stopped playing with me" you can use the word "so" there, but you need an "and" before it to make it flow properly. I hope this wasn't too much information!
Then, I don't know how, I founI felt lonely, but discovered that I had fun with books.
The original sentence is disconnected. It sounds like a random occurrence, but you started reading because you couldn't play with your sister anymore.
That' was the start of my reading journey, because the books always ackept me company me like a knowledgeable friend.
Phrasing is awkward. Only writing the words "my reading" is abrupt, because you would expect the word "journey" to follow (as in, "my reading journey"). Also no need for "the" before books, since you're not referring to specific books, you're referring to books as a concept.
Feedback
Good job overall, just keep practicing!
Reading
This prompt brings me back to my childhood.
I have a sister who is two years older than me.
But we didn't share/spend much time playing together, because I was too good at talking and every time my parents asked me what we kids had done, I always told them everything.
Sometimes the adults laughed around and sometimes they blamcriticized my sister or her friends.
Both of these situations weren't welcomed by my sister.
Suggestion:
Neither of these scenarios were welcomed by my sister.
She didn't play with me anymore, soand neither did her friends.
Then, I don't know how, but I found fun with books.
That' was the start of my reading, because the books always accompanyied me like a knowledgeable friend.
yesterday
I really like the suggestions from @JoeTofu because they make so few changes to the original.
I have an additional suggestion is for the last sentence. I think it would feel more balanced to have two plurals: "books" and "knowledgeable friends."
Other ways to start the last sentence might be "That is how I began to read," or "That is how I became a reader." Using the present tense in the last sentence would connect your childhood to today, when you are still (I'm assuming) a reader of books.
Finally, I believe that the sentence "Then, I don't know how, I found fun with books" is fine without the addition of "but." As I understand it, the sentence construction works this way: you can delete "I don't know how" and you still have a complete sentence. This is no longer true if you add "but."
yesterday
@Liag, originally I had changed it to “knowledgeable friends,” but then it occurred to me that she probably carried around just one book at a time, so I changed it back to singular.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Regarding my addition of “but,” I agree that the sentence can work without “but” in written form, but if I were speaking it aloud I definitely would add “but.” Personal preference, I guess. :-)
yesterday
@Tammy, it just occurred to me that maybe you mean the books “kept you company” instead of “accompanied you.” The difference between these two expressions is that “accompanied you” means they went with you when you went someplace or did something, whereas “kept you company” means they were with you all the time, regardless of whether you were going somewhere, engaged in an activity, or doing nothing at all. So we say we “accompany someone to the store” (go to the store with them) or “accompany someone on the piano” (play the piano while they are singing, making music, dancing, etc.). By contrast, we “keep someone company at home” (stay at home with them).
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Reading This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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This prompt brings me back to my childhood. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This prompt |
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I have a sister who is two years older than me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But we didn't share much time playing together, because I was too good at talking and every time my parents asked me what we kids had done, I always told them everything. But we didn't share/spend much time playing together, because I was too good at talking and every time my parents asked me what we kids had done, I always told them everything.
This sentence doesn't clearly convey meaning independently. With the context of the other sentences, it makes sense, but ideally each sentence can stand on its own and be understood by the reader. The sentence is also a bit too long. But |
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Sometimes the adults laughed around and sometimes they blamed my sister or her friends. Sometimes the adults laughed Sometimes the "the adults" sounds weird in context, since you're referring to your parents. It's also not clear what your sister and her friends were being blamed for. Making messes? Being too loud? Breaking things? Sometimes the adults |
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Both of these situations weren't welcomed by my sister. Both of these situations weren't welcomed by my sister. Suggestion: Neither of these scenarios were welcomed by my sister. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Both of these situations weren't welcomed by my sister. |
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She didn't play with me anymore, so did her friends. She didn't play with me anymore, She The usage of "so" is awkward in the original sentence. The word "so" conveys something additional happening, but you're using a negation (she did not play with me anymore). If you wanted to keep the negation, it would be less awkward if you wrote: "She didn't play with me anymore, and neither did her friends" because "neither" indicates an additional negative consequence. If you switch it to "she stopped playing with me" you can use the word "so" there, but you need an "and" before it to make it flow properly. I hope this wasn't too much information! She didn't play with me anymore, so did her friends. |
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Then, I don't know how, I found fun with books. Then, I don't know how, but I found fun with books.
The original sentence is disconnected. It sounds like a random occurrence, but you started reading because you couldn't play with your sister anymore. Then, I don't know how, but I found |
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That's the start of my reading, because the books always accompany me like a knowledgeable friend. That That Phrasing is awkward. Only writing the words "my reading" is abrupt, because you would expect the word "journey" to follow (as in, "my reading journey"). Also no need for "the" before books, since you're not referring to specific books, you're referring to books as a concept. That's |
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