orea5's avatar
orea5

Dec. 19, 2022

1
Help animals survive winter

Write an article about an action under the name of "Help animals survive winter" that is planned in your town. Inform the readers of a youth magazine what this action will consist in and suggest a way to promote it.

Help animals survive winter!

I feel an urgent need to share with you how we can save our animal friends from an uncertain fate during this winter. The animal rights organisation "Happy Bark" is staging a two-week action under the name of "Help animals survive winter" in December to fundraise for two animal shelters in our town. With rising inflation and exorbitant prices of living we can observe more and more owner surrenders. Shelters are overcrowded and decisions on euthanasia for space are commonplace. We need to open our hearts to this situation.

You can donate any sum of money through the "Happy Bark's" Facebook page. The mission of the charity is to save numerous animal beings from dying this winter. The raised money will help to pay for basic veterinary care including neuter services to prevent from the explosion of puppies and kittens. The injection of cash into the shelters will also facilitate covering huge expenses due to the increased energy bills , which will prevent especially newborn pets from freezing up. You can also contribute to the event by adopting a four-legged friend instead of buying one.

I am convinced that apart from social media platforms, the primary and secondary schools' headteachers in our town can play a significant part in the event. They will be able to involve their school communities in the campaign by getting students to even offer an alternative form of help by collecting and then delivering boxes of pet food to the shelters. It would also probably be possible for the school authorities to get some local media attention to the action. Watching a news report video clip on YouTube for example, presenting the gratitude of quadrupedal creatures from tiny cages might not only help spread a good word about the campaign, but also melt the hearts of those hard-hearted ones.

To conclude, I would like to encourage all the readers to rise and take action to change the fate of our pet friends that we can rely on to always cheer us up in difficult times. You can contribute in various ways and donate any amount of money you wish. Be compassionate and put your feelings into action.

Corrections

Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter

We capitalize the first letter of important words in titles.

Write an article about an action item under the name of "Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter" that is planned in your town.

Inform the readers of a youth magazine what this action will consist inof and suggest a way to promote it.

Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter!

I feel an urgent need to share with you how we can save our animal friends from an uncertain fate during this winter.

The animal rights organiszation "Happy Bark" is stagholding a two-week action under the name ofcampaign called "Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter" in December to fundraise funds for two animal shelters in our town.

"organization" → US spelling

With rising inflation and its resulting exorbitant prices of living, we canare observeing more and more owner surrenders.

Shelters are overcrowded and decisions ton euthanasiaize for space considerations are commonplace.

We need to open our hearts and our wallets to this situation.

Your sentence is correct. This is a more straightforward way to say it.

You can donate any sum of money through the "Happy Bark's" Facebook page.

The mission of the charity is to save numerous animal beingsas many animals as possible from dying this winter.

The money raised money will help to pay for basic veterinary care including neuter services to prevent from thea population explosion of puppies and kittens.

The injection of cash into the shelters will also facilitate covering huge expenses due to the increased energy bills , which will prevent especially prevent newborn petanimals from freezing upto death.

You can also contribute to the event by adopting a four-legged friend instead of buying one from a breeder.

I am convinced that apart from social media platforms, the headteachers of primary and secondary schools' headteachers in our town can play a significant part in the event.

They will be able to involve their school communities in the campaign by getting students to evenalso offer an alternative form of help by collecting and then delivering boxes of pet food to the shelters.

It would also probably be possible for the school authorities to get some local media attention tofor the actiocampaign.

Watching aA news report video clip on YouTube, for example, presentingcould show the gratitude of quadrupedal creatures released from tiny cages mightwhich not only might help spread athe good word about the campaign, but also might melt the hearts of those who are hard-hearted ones.

To conclude, I would like to encourage all the readers to rise and take action to change the fate of our petanimal friends so that we can rely on them to always cheer us up in difficult times.

You can contribute in variousmany ways and donate any amount of money you wish.

Be compassionate and put your feelings into action.

Feedback

Very well written! I wish this were real!

orea5's avatar
orea5

Jan. 2, 2023

1

THANK YOU MARI🙂

I feel an urgent need to share with you how we can save our animal friends from an uncertain fate during this winter.

You can get rid of “during” for brevity.

Shelters are overcrowded and decisions on euthanasia for spaceuthanasia to commit this issue are commonplace.

You can also contribute to the event by adopting a four-legged friend in need instead of buying one.

For something like this I would personally add “in need” to gain more sympathy.

Feedback

Just a few suggestions on top of the other correction done. Honestly, I am quite impressed with the work done here. Though there are a few grammatical errors and odd phrasing choices, the parts that are good sound just like a native speaker, if not better. Some peers in my college writing courses would not be able to convey ideas this well.

orea5's avatar
orea5

Dec. 19, 2022

1


Thank you so much for your help. Your flattering words make me really feel intimidated.

I feel an urgent need to share with you how we can save our animal friends from an uncertain fate during this winter.

The animal rights organisation "Happy Bark" is staging a two-week action under the name of "Help animals survive winter" in December to fundraise for two animal shelters in our town.

Since "Help Animals Survive Winter" is the title of a campaign, capitalize the first letter of each word

With rising inflation and exorbitant prices of living, we can observe more and more owner surrenders.

"We can observe more and more owner surrenders" is a bit unclear. Rephrase this sentence, perhaps find another word instead of "observe" and "surrender"

Shelters are overcrowded and decisions on euthanasia for space areeuthanasia is commonplace.

The mission of the charity is to save numerous animal beings from dying this winter.

The raised money will help to pay for basic veterinary care, including neuter services to prevent from the explosion of puppies and kittens.

"Explosion" is the wrong word to use here - that implies something quite unpleasant related to bombs

The injectionflux of cash into the shelters will also facilitate covering huge expenses due to the increased energy bills , which will prevent especially newborn pets from freezing up.

You can also contribute to the event by adopting a four-legged friend instead of buying one.

I am convinced that apart from social media platforms, the primary and secondary schools' headteachers in our town can play a significant part in the event.

They will be able to involve their school communities in the campaign by getting students to even offer an alternative form of help by collecting and then delivering boxes of pet food to the shelters.

It would also probably be possible for the school authorities to get some local media attention to the action.

WFor example, watching a news report video clip on YouTube for example,and presenting the gratitude of quadrupedalfour-legged creatures from tiny cages might not only help spread a good word about the campaign, but also melt the hearts of thosmore hard-hearted ones.

To conclude, I would like to encourage all the readers to rise and take action to change the fate of our pet friends that we can rely on to always cheer us up in difficult times.

You can contribute in various ways and donate any amount of money you wish.

Be compassionate and put your feelings into action.

Feedback

Overall, this essay is written very well and is very descriptive! Any corrections were either from incorrect word usage or just minor style corrections. Besides those corrections, your writing is close to a native writer.

orea5's avatar
orea5

Dec. 19, 2022

1

That's a great help and really nice words - I'm learning from the best here (like you).

Help animals survive winter


Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter

We capitalize the first letter of important words in titles.

Write an article about an action under the name of "Help animals survive winter" that is planned in your town.


Write an article about an action item under the name of "Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter" that is planned in your town.

Inform the readers of a youth magazine what this action will consist in and suggest a way to promote it.


Inform the readers of a youth magazine what this action will consist inof and suggest a way to promote it.

Help animals survive winter!


Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter!

I feel an urgent need to share with you how we can save our animal friends from an uncertain fate during this winter.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I feel an urgent need to share with you how we can save our animal friends from an uncertain fate during this winter.

You can get rid of “during” for brevity.

I feel an urgent need to share with you how we can save our animal friends from an uncertain fate during this winter.

The animal rights organisation "Happy Bark" is staging a two-week action under the name of "Help animals survive winter" in December to fundraise for two animal shelters in our town.


The animal rights organisation "Happy Bark" is staging a two-week action under the name of "Help animals survive winter" in December to fundraise for two animal shelters in our town.

Since "Help Animals Survive Winter" is the title of a campaign, capitalize the first letter of each word

The animal rights organiszation "Happy Bark" is stagholding a two-week action under the name ofcampaign called "Help aAnimals sSurvive wWinter" in December to fundraise funds for two animal shelters in our town.

"organization" → US spelling

With rising inflation and exorbitant prices of living we can observe more and more owner surrenders.


With rising inflation and exorbitant prices of living, we can observe more and more owner surrenders.

"We can observe more and more owner surrenders" is a bit unclear. Rephrase this sentence, perhaps find another word instead of "observe" and "surrender"

With rising inflation and its resulting exorbitant prices of living, we canare observeing more and more owner surrenders.

Shelters are overcrowded and decisions on euthanasia for space are commonplace.


Shelters are overcrowded and decisions on euthanasia for space areeuthanasia is commonplace.

Shelters are overcrowded and decisions on euthanasia for spaceuthanasia to commit this issue are commonplace.

Shelters are overcrowded and decisions ton euthanasiaize for space considerations are commonplace.

We need to open our hearts to this situation.


We need to open our hearts and our wallets to this situation.

Your sentence is correct. This is a more straightforward way to say it.

You can donate any sum of money through the "Happy Bark's" Facebook page.


You can donate any sum of money through the "Happy Bark's" Facebook page.

The mission of the charity is to save numerous animal beings from dying this winter.


The mission of the charity is to save numerous animal beings from dying this winter.

The mission of the charity is to save numerous animal beingsas many animals as possible from dying this winter.

The raised money will help to pay for basic veterinary care including neuter services to prevent from the explosion of puppies and kittens.


The raised money will help to pay for basic veterinary care, including neuter services to prevent from the explosion of puppies and kittens.

"Explosion" is the wrong word to use here - that implies something quite unpleasant related to bombs

The money raised money will help to pay for basic veterinary care including neuter services to prevent from thea population explosion of puppies and kittens.

The injection of cash into the shelters will also facilitate covering huge expenses due to the increased energy bills , which will prevent especially newborn pets from freezing up.


The injectionflux of cash into the shelters will also facilitate covering huge expenses due to the increased energy bills , which will prevent especially newborn pets from freezing up.

The injection of cash into the shelters will also facilitate covering huge expenses due to the increased energy bills , which will prevent especially prevent newborn petanimals from freezing upto death.

You can also contribute to the event by adopting a four-legged friend instead of buying one.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You can also contribute to the event by adopting a four-legged friend in need instead of buying one.

For something like this I would personally add “in need” to gain more sympathy.

You can also contribute to the event by adopting a four-legged friend instead of buying one from a breeder.

I am convinced that apart from social media platforms, the primary and secondary schools' headteachers in our town can play a significant part in the event.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I am convinced that apart from social media platforms, the headteachers of primary and secondary schools' headteachers in our town can play a significant part in the event.

They will be able to involve their school communities in the campaign by getting students to even offer an alternative form of help by collecting and then delivering boxes of pet food to the shelters.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

They will be able to involve their school communities in the campaign by getting students to evenalso offer an alternative form of help by collecting and then delivering boxes of pet food to the shelters.

It would also probably be possible for the school authorities to get some local media attention to the action.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It would also probably be possible for the school authorities to get some local media attention tofor the actiocampaign.

Watching a news report video clip on YouTube for example, presenting the gratitude of quadrupedal creatures from tiny cages might not only help spread a good word about the campaign, but also melt the hearts of those hard-hearted ones.


WFor example, watching a news report video clip on YouTube for example,and presenting the gratitude of quadrupedalfour-legged creatures from tiny cages might not only help spread a good word about the campaign, but also melt the hearts of thosmore hard-hearted ones.

Watching aA news report video clip on YouTube, for example, presentingcould show the gratitude of quadrupedal creatures released from tiny cages mightwhich not only might help spread athe good word about the campaign, but also might melt the hearts of those who are hard-hearted ones.

To conclude, I would like to encourage all the readers to rise and take action to change the fate of our pet friends that we can rely on to always cheer us up in difficult times.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

To conclude, I would like to encourage all the readers to rise and take action to change the fate of our petanimal friends so that we can rely on them to always cheer us up in difficult times.

You can contribute in various ways and donate any amount of money you wish.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You can contribute in variousmany ways and donate any amount of money you wish.

Be compassionate and put your feelings into action.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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