Nov. 5, 2019
Beauty treatment
I am interested in the beauty treatment. Because I worked in beauty salon as part-time job when I was university student. I tried some beauty laser treatment effecting on hair removal and blackspots removal. The treatment which I want to try lately is Derma Stamp effecting on open pores.
Correction Settings
Beauty treatments Beauty treatments
(I think this sounds a bit more natural)
Because I worked in a beauty salon as a part-time job when I was a university student. Because I worked in a beauty salon as a part-time job when I was a university student.
I tried some beauty laser treatment effecting ons for hair removal and blackspotshead removal.
I tried some beauty laser treatments for hair removal and blackhead removal.
(Again, I think this sounds more natural. Also, if you are talking about skin, "blackhead" is a better word to use for this case.)
TheA treatment which I have wanted to try lately is Derma Stamp effecting on[which is] for open pores.
A treatment which I have wanted to try lately is Derma Stamp [which is] for open pores.
Feedback
Great post, Tina! Working at a beauty salon sounds like an interesting job. I am interested in treatments too (like skincare), but they're expensive, so I just do my best at home (ha ha).
BThis is because I worked inat a beauty salon as part-time job when I was university student.
This is because I worked at a beauty salon part-time when I was university student.
I would combine the two sentences like this: I am interested in beauty treatments, because I worked at a beauty salon part-time when I was a university student.
Feedback
Hi Tina,
Interested post. Many of my Japanese friends are also interested in beauty treatments. I know that appearance is very important in Japan. I hope you get a chance to try Derma Stamp.
Let me know if you have any questions about the correction I made.
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Beauty treatment Beauty treatments Beauty treatments (I think this sounds a bit more natural) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I am interested in the beauty treatment. |
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Because I worked in beauty salon as part-time job when I was university student.
I would combine the two sentences like this: I am interested in beauty treatments, because I worked at a beauty salon part-time when I was a university student. Because I worked in a beauty salon as a part-time job when I was a university student. Because I worked in a beauty salon as a part-time job when I was a university student. |
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I tried some beauty laser treatment effecting on hair removal and blackspots removal.
I tried some beauty laser treatment (Again, I think this sounds more natural. Also, if you are talking about skin, "blackhead" is a better word to use for this case.) |
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The treatment which I want to try lately is Derma Stamp effecting on open pores.
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