yesterday
Guns N' Roses' Concert
A few days ago, I went to a Guns N' Roses' concert here in Bogotá. It was an amazing experience. It was late in the evening, and the weather got colder with time. I wore two pants, a T-shirt, a hoodie, a coat, a scarf, and two socks, and even then, I still felt cold.
I sang all their songs, and I ended up with my throat a bit sore. I was so impressed with Axl, because he was singing live even though he's older now. And about Slash, oh my god! The chance to listen his guitar solo was beautiful. I was with my mouth open, hahahaha.
Something funny that happened was that a day before, Slash went to a mall here in Bogotá. Somebody took a photo of him, and he was going to the Cinema with a popcorn combo. It was so cute!
Hace unos días fui a un concierto de Guns N' Roses aquí en Bogotá. Fue una experiencia increíble. Era tarde y hacía cada vez más frío. Llevaba dos pantalones, una camiseta, una sudadera con capucha, un abrigo, una bufanda y dos pares de calcetines, y aun así seguía teniendo frío.
Canté todas sus canciones y terminé con la garganta un poco rota. Axl me impresionó mucho, porque cantaba en vivo a pesar de que ya es mayor. Y Slash, ¡Dios mío! La oportunidad de escuchar su solo de guitarra fue maravillosa. Me quedé con la boca abierta, jajajaja.
Algo gracioso que pasó fue que, el día anterior, Slash fue a un centro comercial aquí en Bogotá. Alguien le hizo una foto y se le veía yendo al cine con unas palomitas. ¡Fue tan bonito!
It was late in the evening, and the weather got colder with timeas the show went on.
“With time” sounds a bit odd here, it’s normally used for long time spans
I wore twoa pair of pants, a T-shirt, a hoodie, a coat, a scarf, and two socks, and even then, I still felt cold.
1. “Two pants” implies that you’re wearing two pairs of pants.
I was left with my mouth open, hahahaha.
adding the word “left” makes this sentence sound a bit better
Something funny that happened was that a day before, the concert Slash went to a mall here in Bogotá.
Adding “a day before the concert” makes it a bit clearer as to what you’re talking about
Feedback
Good job!
Guns N' Roses' Concert
A few days ago, I went to a Guns N' Roses' concert here in Bogotá.
It was an amazing experience.
It was late in the evening, and the weather got colder with timeas the show went on.
"with time" to me implies a longer timespan than I think you intended
I wore two pants, a T-shirt, a hoodie, a coat, a scarf, and two socks, and even then, I still felt cold.
I sang all their songs, and I ended up with my throat a bit sorea bit of a sore throat.
I was so impressed with Axl, because he was singing live even though he's older now.
And about Slash, oh my god!
The "about" feels a little redundant
The chance to listen hHis guitar solos wasere beautiful.
In the original here "beautiful" would be describing "the chance", which feels a little strange. I think rewording to focus on the guitar solos specifically would work well. I assume there was more than one, so I pluralised it
I was with my mouth openMy jaw dropped, hahahaha.
The phrasing here is a bit unnatural - you can use a phrase like "my jaw dropped" for a similar meaning
Something funny that happened was that a day before, Slash went to a mall here in Bogotá.
Somebody took a photo of him, and he was going to the Cinema with a popcorn combo.
It was so cute!
Feedback
It sounds like you had a fun time at the concert :)
yesterday
Hello! Thank you for your corrections. I'll take them into account when writing a second version in Journaly. :D
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It was so cute! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was an amazing experience. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was late in the evening, and the weather got colder with time. It was late in the evening, and the weather got colder "with time" to me implies a longer timespan than I think you intended It was late in the evening, and the weather got colder “With time” sounds a bit odd here, it’s normally used for long time spans |
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Guns N' Roses Concert |
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Something funny that happened was that a day before, Slash went to a mall here in Bogotá. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Something funny that happened was that a day before Adding “a day before the concert” makes it a bit clearer as to what you’re talking about |
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Somebody took a photo of him, and he was going to the Cinema with a popcorn combo. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A few days ago, I went to a Guns N' Roses concert here in Bogotá. |
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And about Slash, oh my good! |
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Guns N' Roses' Concert This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A few days ago, I went to a Guns N' Roses' concert here in Bogotá. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I wore two pants, a T-shirt, a hoodie, a coat, a scarf, and two socks, and even then, I still felt cold. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I wore 1. “Two pants” implies that you’re wearing two pairs of pants. |
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I sang all their songs, and I ended up with my throat a bit sore. I sang all their songs, and I ended up with |
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I was so impressed with Axl, because he was singing live even though he's older now. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And about Slash, oh my god! And The "about" feels a little redundant |
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The chance to listen his guitar solo was beautiful.
In the original here "beautiful" would be describing "the chance", which feels a little strange. I think rewording to focus on the guitar solos specifically would work well. I assume there was more than one, so I pluralised it |
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I was with my mouth open, hahahaha.
The phrasing here is a bit unnatural - you can use a phrase like "my jaw dropped" for a similar meaning I was left with my mouth open, hahahaha. adding the word “left” makes this sentence sound a bit better |
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I sang all their songs, and I ended up with my throat a bit broke. |
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Something funny that happened was that a day before, Slash went to a Mall here in Bogotá. |
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