yesterday
One of my uncles passed away last month. He was 80-years-old and was suffering many health problems due to its great age.
One year before, at the same period of the year, one of my aunts had passed away as well. She was about the same age as my uncle, maybe 78-years-old. A cancer had been diagnosed at an advanced state, and I imagine that she could hardly endure the harsh treatment because of her great age.
I’m 47-years-old, so these losses are not the first ones among my relatives.
Cancer, AIDS, suicide, car accident… Unfortunately, experiencing death of beloved ones is a big part of everyone life.
But for the recent losses, my uncle and aunt, the context was different and I sadly realised we lost much more that I had imagined.
The generation before me, my parents and their siblings, have reached an age where Mother Nature calls you back. “Who will miss the next family gathering?” wondered my mother last week.
Not to mention our broken hearts, my siblings and I are also expecting a huge milestone in our lives — eventually becoming independent adults.
But it’s much more than just about us, as they are more than elderly people dying.
Who will remind us how the world was before us?
I remember my mother telling us the revolution of the first landline phone in her village when she was a child, as well as so many other stories — the installation of running water, the move of the toilet from the garden to the house, the use of a washing machine instead of a washboard, the central heating instead of a hot brick under the bed, and so on.
Besides their personal experiences of life, they are also living witnesses to our collective past.
How did society evolve in a post-war atmosphere? What progress was achieved? What mistakes were made?
A whole world is disappearing with them, leaving us alone with our own fate.
As we climb the stairs of life, I can now feel the steps behind us vanishing in a heavy silence.
Generation Handover
One of my uncles passed away last month.
He was 80- years- old and was suffering many health problems due to hits great age.
(1) We do not hyphenate "80 years old" here. We only hyphenate it when it is an adjective preceding a noun ("the 80-year-old tree") or when it is a noun itself ("he is an 80-year-old (person)").
(2) Your uncle is a male, so we use "his" instead of "its".
One year before, atago, around the same period of the year, one of my aunts had passed away as well.
(1) When using the present as the reference point when talking about past events, "ago" sounds more natural to me than "before".
(2) "Around the same period" sounds more natural to me. There is also no need to specify "of the year", as you have already established that this occurred a year ago.
She was about the same age as my uncle, maybe 78- years- old.
See my comment on "He was 80 years old...".
A cancer had been diagnosed at an advanced statge, and I imagine (that) she could hardly endure the harsh treatment because of her great age.
(1) "Stage" is typically used when talking about cancer. We say "stage 1 cancer", "stage 2 cancer", etc.
(2) You may omit the "that".
(3) Instead of "great age", you can also say "old age". It will introduce some variety in the vocabulary.
I’m 47- years- old, so these losses are not the first ones among my relatives.
Cancer, AIDS, suicide, car accident…
Unfortunately, experiencing (the) deaths of beloved ones is a big part of everyone's life.
(1) "Beloved ones" is plural, so the plural "deaths" is used.
(2) "Everyone" is not used as an adjective.
But for the recent losses, my uncle and aunt, the context was different and I sadly realised we lost much more thatn I had imagined.
The generation before me, my parents and their siblings, haves reached an age where Mother Nature calls you back.
"Generation" is singular, so the singular "has" is used.
“Who will miss the next family gathering?” wondered my mother last week.
Not to mentionBesides our broken hearts, my siblings and I are also expecting a huge milestone in our lives — eventually becoming independent adults.
This usage of "not to mention" is a little awkward. For now, I have replaced it with another word that works in this context. However, if you can provide the sentence in French, perhaps I can find a more suitable word to use here.
But it’s much more than just about us, as they are more than elderly people who are dying.
I assume "they" refers to your relatives. I would suggest adding "who are", to make it clear that "elderly people" is the noun. Otherwise, the event of "elderly people dying" may be interpreted to be the noun instead.
Who will remind us how the world was before us?
I remember my mother telling us about the revolution ofthat was the first landline phone in her village when she was a child, as well as so many other stories — the installation of running water, the moveing of the toilet from the garden to the house, the use of a washing machine instead of a washboard, the central heating instead of a hot brick under the bed, and so on.
(1) "Revolution of the first landline phone" may mean that the landline phone was the thing that underwent a revolution, rather than the village.
(2) "The moving of" sounds more natural than "the move of".
Besides their personal life experiences of life, they are also living witnesses to our collective past.
"Life experiences" is a common term. Alternatively, you may also say "personal experiences in life".
How did society evolve in a post-war atmosphere?
What progress was achieved?
What mistakes were made?
A whole world is disappearing with them, leaving us alone with our own fate.
As we climb the stairs of life, I can now feel the steps behind us vanishing in a heavy silence.
Feedback
The ending of this diary entry was well-written! I'm sorry to hear of your uncle's passing, and would like to extend my condolences. I also hope life treats you well as you enter the next stage of your life!
Generation Handover
One of my uncles passed away last month.
He was 80- years- old and was suffering many health problems due to its greathis old age.
One year before, at the same periodtime of the year, one of my aunts had passed away as well.
She was about the same age as my uncle, maybe 78- years- old.
A cancerShe had been diagnosed atwith an advanced statege cancer, and I imagine that she could hardly endure the harsh treatment because of her greatold age.
I’m 47- years- old, so these losses are not the first ones among my relatives.
Cancer, AIDS, suicide, car accident…
Unfortunately, experiencing death of beloved ones is a big part of everyone life.
But for the recent losses, my uncle and aunt, the context was different and I sadly realised we lost much more that I had imagined.
The generation before me, my parents and their siblings, haves reached an age where Mother Nature calls you back.
“Who will miss the next family gathering?” wondered my mother last week.
Not to mention our broken hearts, my siblings and I are also expecting a huge milestone in our lives — eventually becoming independent adults.
But it’s much more than just about us, as theyre are more than elderly people dying.
Who will remind us how the world was before us?
I remember my mother telling us the revolution of the first landline phone in her village when she was a child, as well as so many other stories — the installation of running water, the move of the toilet from the garden to the house, the use of a washing machine instead of a washboard, the central heating instead of a hot brick under the bed, and so on.
Besides their personal experiences of life, they are also living witnesses to our collective past.
How did society evolve in a post-war atmosphere?
What progress was achieved?
What mistakes were made?
A whole world is disappearing with them, leaving us alone with our own fate.
As we climb the stairs of life, I can now feel the steps behind us vanishing in a heavy silence.
|
Generation Handover This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
One of my uncles passed away last month. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He was 80-years-old and was suffering many health problems due to its great age. He was 80 He was 80 (1) We do not hyphenate "80 years old" here. We only hyphenate it when it is an adjective preceding a noun ("the 80-year-old tree") or when it is a noun itself ("he is an 80-year-old (person)"). (2) Your uncle is a male, so we use "his" instead of "its". |
|
One year before, at the same period of the year, one of my aunts had passed away as well. One year before, at the same One year (1) When using the present as the reference point when talking about past events, "ago" sounds more natural to me than "before". (2) "Around the same period" sounds more natural to me. There is also no need to specify "of the year", as you have already established that this occurred a year ago. |
|
She was about the same age as my uncle, maybe 78-years-old. She was about the same age as my uncle, maybe 78 She was about the same age as my uncle, maybe 78 See my comment on "He was 80 years old...". |
|
A cancer had been diagnosed at an advanced state, and I imagine that she could hardly endure the harsh treatment because of her great age.
A cancer had been diagnosed at an advanced sta (1) "Stage" is typically used when talking about cancer. We say "stage 1 cancer", "stage 2 cancer", etc. (2) You may omit the "that". (3) Instead of "great age", you can also say "old age". It will introduce some variety in the vocabulary. |
|
I’m 47-years-old, so these losses are not the first ones among my relatives. I’m 47 I’m 47 |
|
But for the recent losses, my uncle and aunt, the context was different and I sadly realised we lost much more that I had imagined. This sentence has been marked as perfect! But for the recent losses, my uncle and aunt, the context was different and I sadly realised we lost much more tha |
|
The generation before me, my parents and their siblings, have reached an age where Mother Nature calls you back. The generation before me, my parents and their siblings, ha The generation before me, my parents and their siblings, ha "Generation" is singular, so the singular "has" is used. |
|
“Who will miss the next family gathering?” wondered my mother last week. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Not to mention our broken hearts, my siblings and I are also expecting a huge milestone in our lives — eventually becoming independent adults. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
This usage of "not to mention" is a little awkward. For now, I have replaced it with another word that works in this context. However, if you can provide the sentence in French, perhaps I can find a more suitable word to use here. |
|
But it’s much more than just about us, as they are more than elderly people dying. But it’s much more than just about us, as the But it’s much more than just about us, as they are more than elderly people who are dying. I assume "they" refers to your relatives. I would suggest adding "who are", to make it clear that "elderly people" is the noun. Otherwise, the event of "elderly people dying" may be interpreted to be the noun instead. |
|
Who will remind us how the world was before us? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I remember my mother telling us the revolution of the first landline phone in her village when she was a child, as well as so many other stories — the installation of running water, the move of the toilet from the garden to the house, the use of a washing machine instead of a washboard, the central heating instead of a hot brick under the bed, and so on. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I remember my mother telling us about the revolution (1) "Revolution of the first landline phone" may mean that the landline phone was the thing that underwent a revolution, rather than the village. (2) "The moving of" sounds more natural than "the move of". |
|
Besides their personal experiences of life, they are also living witnesses to our collective past. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Besides their personal life experiences "Life experiences" is a common term. Alternatively, you may also say "personal experiences in life". |
|
How did society evolve in a post-war atmosphere? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
What progress was achieved? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
What mistakes were made? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
A whole world is disappearing with them, leaving us alone with our own fate. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
As we climb the stairs of life, I can now feel the steps behind us vanishing in a heavy silence. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Cancer, AIDS, suicide, car accident… This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Unfortunately, experiencing death of beloved ones is a big part of everyone life. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Unfortunately, experiencing (the) deaths of beloved ones is a big part of everyone's life. (1) "Beloved ones" is plural, so the plural "deaths" is used. (2) "Everyone" is not used as an adjective. |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium