May 18, 2020
Gardens
Though a garden settles outside a house, it is a part of home which has not a little effect on the atmosphere of the inside of the house. For instance, when you glance out the window from living room, how would you feel will be completely different whether green grass spreads there or Japanese pine trees stand densely.
庭というものは住まいの外にありながら、室内の雰囲気に少なからず影響を与える住まいの装置である。たとえば居間などに座って何気なく外に視線を投げかけるとき、そこにあるのが明るい芝生の広がりであるが、こんもりした松の茂みであるかによって住まいの気分にはかなり異なるであろう。
Gardens
Though a garden settlesis located outside a house, it is a part of home which has not a. However, it has little effect on the atmosphere of the inside of the househouse's interior.
I split this part up into two sentences because generally English sentences tend to be shorter.
For instance, whenif you glance out the window from the living room, howyou would you feel will be completely different whether green grass spreads there orif you saw spread-out green grass rather than if you saw Japanese pine trees standing densely.
"How would you feel" sounds more like the beginning of a question rather than a statement (i.e. a person asking "How would you feel if you had to move abroad immediately?").
Feedback
Overall most of my corrections were to streamline the passage. I hope I still got your original point across! Great job on your writing!
May 31, 2020
thank you!!
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Gardens This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Though a garden settles outside a house, it is a part of home which has not a little effect on the atmosphere of the inside of the house. Though a garden I split this part up into two sentences because generally English sentences tend to be shorter. |
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For instance, when you glance out the window from living room, how would you feel will be completely different whether green grass spreads there or Japanese pine trees stand densely. For instance, "How would you feel" sounds more like the beginning of a question rather than a statement (i.e. a person asking "How would you feel if you had to move abroad immediately?"). |
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