Dec. 14, 2020
2020.12.14 Monday
The words I recited today is:librarian,doze,vase,gap,substance,robust,tumble,naked,overthrow,empirical,beer. Then I will use these words to describe a simple scene.
Last week,I went to the library. It took me 10 minutes to get there. After i focus myself on the book for some time,I felt a little tired and caught a sight of a cute child. She was delivering French fries to the dog outside through the window gap,which is so interesting. After a while,a librarian who was robust walked towards this child. As soon as he speaked a word,this child tumbled suddenly. And then she stood up by herself.She noticed that there's a china vase beside her. All of a sudden,she burst out laughing.
I made it all up,don't take it serious please.
如果可以的话，请帮我纠正，谢谢！
Correction Settings
After a while,a a robust librarian who was robust walked towards this child.
After a while, a robust librarian walked towards this child.
if you put the adjective before the noun you can trim your words down a bit.
How is it that you're using robust here? It's a little unusual in this context. Is the librarian kind of angry or irritated? Or are they doing their job thoroughly? Are they strong and energetic?
Dec. 14, 2020
Here's a few rewrites for fun (:
I went to the library last week. It took me 10 minutes to get there. After reading a book for a bit and feeling a little tired I caught sight of an adorable child. She was giving french fries to a dog outside a gap in the window, which I found amusing. After some time a robust librarian walked towards the child. As soon as the librarian spoke the child suddenly tumbled over. Then the child stood up and noticed there was a china vase beside her and burst into laughter.
Colloquial/slang/spoken:
I was sitting there reading a book at the library, the one that's 10 minutes from here, and as I started to feel tired I noticed a kid feeding french fries to a dog outside through a gap in the window. It was adorable. Of course the librarian wasn't having any of it, so they went over to the kid. As soon as the librarian spoke the kid jumps and falls over. The kid then stood up, noticed a china vase next to them and burst into laughter.
Dec. 14, 2020
Uh,sorry,I just want to put this word in to my context.It seems to be not logical.😁
2020.12.14 Monday
The words I recited today is:are: librarian, doze, vase, gap, substance, robust, tumble, naked, overthrow, empirical, and beer.
The words I recited today are: librarian, doze, vase, gap, substance, robust, tumble, naked, overthrow, empirical, and beer.
One space after commas, periods, and colons.
ThenNow I will use these words to describe a simple scene.
Now I will use these words to describe a simple scene.
Last week, I went to the library. Last week, I went to the library.
It took me 10 minutes to get there.
After iI focus myselfed on the book for some time, I felt a little tired and caught a sight of a cute child.
After I focused on the book for some time, I felt a little tired and caught sight of a cute child.
She was deliverfeeding French fries to the dog outside through the window gap, which iwas so interesting.
She was feeding French fries to the dog outside through the window gap, which was so interesting.
Delivering would be used if a worker was bringing food from a restaurant to a house or the post worker bringing mail to a house
Feeding is better here
After a while,a a robust librarian who was robust walked towards this child.
After a while, a robust librarian walked towards this child.
I don't know that I would use robust here, I think "energetic" or "young" would be more appropriate for this context
As soon as he speaked a word,thisoke, the child tumbled suddenly.
As soon as he spoke, the child tumbled suddenly.
And tThen she stood up by herself. She noticed that there' was a china vase beside her.
Then she stood up by herself. She noticed that there was a china vase beside her.
One should generally avoid starting a sentence with "and"
Matched to past tense
All of a sudden, she burst out laughing. All of a sudden, she burst out laughing.
I made it all up, don't take it seriously please. I made it all up, don't take it seriously please.
Feedback
Good job! I would recommend paying attention to the spacing of your punctuation, it will help to elevate your writing!
Dec. 14, 2020
Here's a few rewrites for fun (:
I went to the library last week. It took me 10 minutes to get there. After reading a book for a bit and feeling a little tired I caught sight of an adorable child. She was giving french fries to a dog outside a gap in the window, which I found amusing. After some time a robust librarian walked towards the child. As soon as the librarian spoke the child suddenly tumbled over. Then the child stood up and noticed there was a china vase beside her and burst into laughter.
Colloquial/slang/spoken:
I was sitting there reading a book at the library, the one that's 10 minutes from here, and as I started to feel tired I noticed a kid feeding french fries to a dog outside through a gap in the window. It was adorable. Of course the librarian wasn't having any of it, so they went over to the kid. As soon as the librarian spoke the kid jumps and falls over. The kid then stood up, noticed a china vase next to them and burst into laughter.
Dec. 14, 2020
Thank you for helping me correct the context very much.I'll pay attention to it more.Thank you!
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2020.12.14 Monday This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The words I recited today is:librarian,doze,vase,gap,substance,robust,tumble,naked,overthrow,empirical,beer.Then I will use these words to describe a scene. |
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Last week,I went to the library.It took me 10 minutes to get there.After i focus myself on the book for some time,I felt a little tired and caught a sight of a cute child. |
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She was delivering French fries to the dog outside through the window gap,which is so interesting.After a while,a librarian who was robust walked towards this child. |
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As soon as he speaked a word,this child tumbled suddenly.
As soon as he sp |
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And then she stood up by herself.She noticed that there's a china vase beside her.
One should generally avoid starting a sentence with "and" Matched to past tense |
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All of a sudden,she burst out laughing. All of a sudden, she burst out laughing. All of a sudden, she burst out laughing. |
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I made it all up,don't take it serious please. I made it all up, don't take it seriously please. I made it all up, don't take it seriously please. |
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The words I recited today is:librarian,doze,vase,gap,substance,robust,tumble,naked,overthrow,empirical,beer.
The words I recited today One space after commas, periods, and colons. |
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Then I will use these words to describe a scene. |
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Last week,I went to the library. Last week, I went to the library. Last week, I went to the library. |
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It took me 10 minutes to get there. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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After i focus myself on the book for some time,I felt a little tired and caught a sight of a cute child.
After |
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She was delivering French fries to the dog outside through the window gap,which is so interesting.
She was Delivering would be used if a worker was bringing food from a restaurant to a house or the post worker bringing mail to a house Feeding is better here |
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After a while,a librarian who was robust walked towards this child.
After a while, I don't know that I would use robust here, I think "energetic" or "young" would be more appropriate for this context
After a while, if you put the adjective before the noun you can trim your words down a bit. How is it that you're using robust here? It's a little unusual in this context. Is the librarian kind of angry or irritated? Or are they doing their job thoroughly? Are they strong and energetic? |
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Then I will use these words to describe a simple scene.
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