Sept. 26, 2020
Future Job
Some students take a year off between school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of breaking from studying to work and/or travel. If I were forced to choose, I would definitely go with the latter option. It is my firm belief that waiting for a while before deciding your path in life is the better choice for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, making a major decision that affects your entire life needs more time and consideration. Teens do not have much experience in life and due to this reason, it is more probable that they would take the wrong path. To avoid this, they need assistance from adults but they cannot depend on them too much. After all, it is up to them who they want to be. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. You see, when I wanted to choose my discipline in university I was confused between two choices: chemistry and physics. Since the first year of high school, my main interest was physics and I went to a school in which its focus was on mathematical subjects. My family insisted that I must take into account the financial future of the job I was going to choose. I had not considered this aspect until that time. I had to determine what is more important to me: having a job I was always interested in but not a financially good one or having a job I had not considered at all but it more likely would lead me to a less struggling path in my life. In the end, I chose chemistry. As a result, my average points in university were dropped and so did my satisfaction with life. For this reason, I think giving time to young people to choose what they want will lessen the possibility of regret in the future.
Secondly, teens have not developed satisfactory critical reasoning and are deeply influenced by their environments. Due to this, they may do not have a clear image of their interests or are even not aware of them. One of the ways to have a better perspective of a situation is to put some distance between themselves and the environment. Drawing from my own experience, I would think natural sciences were best for me, and base on this reason I chose chemistry to continue my studies at university. However, one day when I was a freshman I was invited to my friend’s house and came across a philosophy book completely by chance in his book shelve. It appealed to me and I borrowed it from my friend. That book opened a door to a new world I was fully unaware of until then. After that, I really realized what I was looking for was not in natural sciences and the reverse was true. The reason I was on the wrong path was that my environment would endorse these kinds of disciplines. It’s certainly clear to see why I believe young people should take their time and investigate this matter more seriously.
In light of the above-mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that taking some time off from studying and, instead, trying different activities to reach a better understanding of yourself might avoid a lifetime regret.
Future Job
Some students take a year off between school and university, to work or to travel.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of bretaking a break from studying to work and/or travel.
If I were forced to choose, I would definitely go with the latter option.
This was grammatical, but since you haven’t actually presented us with two options, “latter option” doesn’t make sense.
It is my firm belief that waiting for a while before deciding your path in life is the better choice for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, making a major decision that affects your entire life needs more time and consideration.
Teens do not have much experience in life and due to this reason, it is more probable that they wouldill take the wrong path.
To avoid this, they need assistance from adults, but they cannot depend on them too much.
After all, it is up to them who they want to be is up to them.
I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience.
You see, when I wanted to choose my discipline in university I was confusundecided between two choices: chemistry and physics.
Or: “confused and unable to decide”
Since the first year of high school, my main interest washad been physics and I went to a school in which its focus wased on mathematical subjects.
Or: “at which the focus was on mathematical subjects.” It does not sound correct to immediately reintroduce the noun attached to the relative clause like that, even if it isn’t functioning as a subject. If absolutely needed, “whose” and similar words can be used to introduce the possessive relationship.
There is an implication of continuity, so a perfective form should be used.
My family insisted that I must take into account the financial future of the job I was going to choose.
I had not considered this aspect until that time.
I had to determine what iwas more important to me: having a job I was always interested in but notthat wasn’t, however, a financially good one or having a job I had not considered at all but itthat would more likely would lead me to a less strugglingdifficult path in my life.
As a present participle, “struggling” describes the subject who struggles, not something that leads to struggling.
In the end, I chose chemistry.
As a result, my average points in university were dropped, and sos did my satisfaction with life.
“And so” is acceptable, but “as” reads better to me.
For this reason, I think giving time to young people to choose what they want will lessen the possibility of regret in the future.
Secondly, teens have not developed satisfactory critical reasoning and are deeply influenced by their environments.
Due to this, they may do not have a clear image of their interests or are even notbe aware of them.
The parallel structure introduced is “they may not… or…”
One of the ways for them to have a better perspective of a situation is to put some distance between themselves and the environment.
The sentence was formulated as a sort of universal maxim, so we needed to either specify whom it applies to or omit “themselves.”
Drawing from my own experience, I would think natural sciences were best for me, and based on this reason I chose chemistry to continue my studies at university.
I would write “I chose chemistry for my studies at university,” although this is acceptable.
However, one day when I was a freshman, I was invited to my friend’s house and came across a book about philosophy book completely by chance ion his book shelvef.
It appealed to me and I borrowed it from my friend.
That book opened a door to a new world I was fully unaware of until then.
After that, I really realized what I was looking for was not in natural sciences andbut the reverse was true.
This is more idiomatic.
The reason I was on the wrong path was that my environment would endorse these kinds of disciplines.
It’s certainly clear to see why I believe young people should take their time and investigate this matter more seriously.
In light of the above-mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that taking some time off from studying and, instead, trying different activities to reach a better understanding of yourself might avoid a lifetime of regret.
Feedback
I really relate to this! I had a good generalist background so it wasn’t that there was a field out there waiting for me to discover, but I would have benefited from more low-stakes exploration. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I grew up in a system that forced a higher degree of specialization earlier on, like the French baccalauréat (choosing between humanities, sciences, or social sciences) or most non-North American university systems. It might have made things even worse, or it might have set me on the “right” path earlier.
Oct. 10, 2020
Thank you for your correction and for sharing your experience.
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Future Job This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Some students take a year off between school and university, to work or to travel. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of breaking from studying to work and/or travel. No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of |
|
If I were forced to choose, I would definitely go with the latter option. If I were forced to choose, I would definitely go with the latter option. This was grammatical, but since you haven’t actually presented us with two options, “latter option” doesn’t make sense. |
|
It is my firm belief that waiting for a while before deciding your path in life is the better choice for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
To begin with, making a major decision that affects your entire life needs more time and consideration. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Teens do not have much experience in life and due to this reason, it is more probable that they would take the wrong path. Teens do not have much experience in life and due to this reason, it is more probable that they w |
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To avoid this, they need assistance from adults but they cannot depend on them too much. To avoid this, they need assistance from adults, but they cannot depend on them too much. |
|
After all, it is up to them who they want to be. After all, |
|
I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
You see, when I wanted to choose my discipline in university I was confused between two choices: chemistry and physics. You see, when I wanted to choose my discipline in university I was Or: “confused and unable to decide” |
|
Since the first year of high school, my main interest was physics and I went to a school in which its focus was on mathematical subjects. Since the first year of high school, my main interest Or: “at which the focus was on mathematical subjects.” It does not sound correct to immediately reintroduce the noun attached to the relative clause like that, even if it isn’t functioning as a subject. If absolutely needed, “whose” and similar words can be used to introduce the possessive relationship. There is an implication of continuity, so a perfective form should be used. |
|
My family insisted that I must take into account the financial future of the job I was going to choose. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I had not considered this aspect until that time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I had to determine what is more important to me: having a job I was always interested in but not a financially good one or having a job I had not considered at all but it more likely would lead me to a less struggling path in my life. I had to determine what As a present participle, “struggling” describes the subject who struggles, not something that leads to struggling. |
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In the end, I chose chemistry. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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As a result, my average points in university were dropped and so did my satisfaction with life. As a result, my average points in university “And so” is acceptable, but “as” reads better to me. |
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For this reason, I think giving time to young people to choose what they want will lessen the possibility of regret in the future. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Secondly, teens have not developed satisfactory critical reasoning and are deeply influenced by their environments. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Due to this, they may do not have a clear image of their interests or are even not aware of them. Due to this, they may The parallel structure introduced is “they may not… or…” |
|
One of the ways to have a better perspective of a situation is to put some distance between themselves and the environment. One of the ways for them to have a better perspective of a situation is to put some distance between themselves and the environment. The sentence was formulated as a sort of universal maxim, so we needed to either specify whom it applies to or omit “themselves.” |
|
Drawing from my own experience, I would think natural sciences were best for me, and base on this reason I chose chemistry to continue my studies at university. Drawing from my own experience, I would think natural sciences were best for me, and based on this reason I chose chemistry to continue my studies at university. I would write “I chose chemistry for my studies at university,” although this is acceptable. |
|
However, one day when I was a freshman I was invited to my friend’s house and came across a philosophy book completely by chance in his book shelve. However, one day when I was a freshman, I was invited to my friend’s house and came across a book about philosophy |
|
It appealed to me and I borrowed it from my friend. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
That book opened a door to a new world I was fully unaware of until then. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
After that, I really realized what I was looking for was not in natural sciences and the reverse was true. After that, I really realized what I was looking for was not in natural sciences This is more idiomatic. |
|
The reason I was on the wrong path was that my environment would endorse these kinds of disciplines. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It’s certainly clear to see why I believe young people should take their time and investigate this matter more seriously. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
In light of the above-mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that taking some time off from studying and, instead, trying different activities to reach a better understanding of yourself might avoid a lifetime regret. In light of the above-mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that taking some time off from studying and, instead, trying different activities to reach a better understanding of yourself might avoid a lifetime of regret. |
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