NowThey were busy because it is the season of newSake production of sake so they were busy. They were busy because it is the season of Sake production.

Good vocabulary, grammar is incorrect.

Now is the season of new production season of sake, so they were busy. Now is the production season of sake, so they were busy.

Changed to make the sentence more natural. We typically refer to this as a "production season"

Now is the season ofor new production of sake so they were busy. Now is the season for new production of sake so they were busy.

I appreciated that I couldan purchase the sSake that wais exclusively available in these breweries. I appreciate that I can purchase Sake that is exclusively available in these breweries.

Past tense is awkward here.

They are located not far away from where I live, I recently knewfound out about it. They are not far away from where I live, I recently found out about it.

Cool!

They are located not too far away from where I live, which I recently knew ifound out. They are located not too far away from where I live, which I recently found out.

If you recently learned something then it's something you "found out/discovered". We would use "knew it" for something you already knew. For example, "I already knew where the breweries were located"

They are located not far away from where I live, I recently knew itlearned. They are located not far away from where I live, I recently learned.

Participating in this tour was good since the tour bus was arranged so I did non't have to worry about driving after tasting sake. Participating in this tour was good since I didn't have to worry about driving after tasting sake.

Corrected word order.

Participating in this tour was good sincbecause the tour bus was arranged, so I did not have to worry about driving after tasting the sake. Participating in this tour was good because the tour bus was arranged, so I did not have to worry about driving after tasting the sake.

Participating in this tour was good since the tour bus was already arranged so I did not have to worry about driving after tasting sake. Participating in this tour was good since the tour bus was already arranged so I did not have to worry about driving after tasting sake.

Although we could non't enter the production site, we could taste several cups of sSake. Although we couldn't enter the production site, we could taste several cups of Sake.

Nice!

Monitor tTour 2 Monitor Tour 2

Capitalize Titles

Monitor tTour 2 Monitor Tour 2

Monitor tTour 2 Monitor Tour 2

TOn the second part of the visit, it waswe visited three sSake breweries. On the second part of the visit, we visited three Sake breweries.

Grammar

TOn (During) the second part of the visit, it wasthere were three sake breweries. On (During) the second part of the visit, there were three sake breweries.

You want "was" to be in the past tense = "were"

The second part of the visit, it was three sake breweries. The second part of the visit was three sake breweries.