April 25, 2024
Frigid
I knew this could happen, and it did. I tried to control those unceasing thoughts, but my eyes didn't lie when I saw him in front of me. I didn't imagine this could end like this, but he remains frigid, just as the last time. His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked finely ahead. Only he knows the despair he's hiding.
FrigidOPTION A: Frigidity OPTION A: Feeling Frigid
GRAMMAR: The word "frigid" is an adjective. The noun form is "frigidity." However, the word ""frigidity" has often a very specific meaning: the inability to feel physical intimacy.
I knew this could happen, and it did.COMMENT: The grammar is possible, but the word "this" is vague. Can you specify what "this" refers to?
I tried to control those unceasing thoughts, but my eyes didn't lie when I saw him in front of me.GRAMMAR: In English, nouns come *before* pronounce. Who is "him"? SUGGESTION: Change "him" to "my former lover" (or the person you are writing about.)
COMMENT: In some language such as Spanish, pronouns can come *before* nouns. However, in English and German they must come *after* nouns.
I didn't imagine this could end like this, but he remainsed frigid, just as the last time.
QUESTION: Dooes "frigid" mean "motionless" or something different?
Only he knowsMY GUESS; He tried to hide the despair he's hid was feeling.
Feedback
More details are needed to make sense of this. I can imagine several scenarios.
May 8, 2024
Thank you very much!! I appreciate all of your corrections. ^^
Frigid
I knew this could happen, and it did.
I tried to control those unceasing thoughts, but my eyes didn't lie when I saw him in front of me.
I didn't imagine ithis could end like this, but h. He remains frigid, just as thlike last time.
His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked finetently ahead.
Only he knows the despair he's hidinges.
Stylistic here.
May 8, 2024
Thank you!!!!
I knew this could happen, and it did.
I tried to control those unceasing thoughts, but my eyes didn't liebetrayed the truth when I saw him in front of me.
I didn't imagine ithis could end like this, but his posture remainsed frigid, just as thlike last time.
I think if you don't specify his posture, the reader might think he's dead.
His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked finely ahead.
What do you mean by "finely"?
May 8, 2024
Thank you so much!!!
I didn't imagine ithis could end like this, but he remains as frigid, just as the last time.
"Remains as frigid as the last time" might sound a little better here.
His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked finelystraight ahead.
"Finely" doesn't make sense to me. Did you maybe mean "straight ahead" or "dead ahead?"
Feedback
Very poetic!
May 8, 2024
Thank you very much!!!
His brown, beautiful brown eyes blinked and looked finely ahead.
"Finely" sounds strange here. "Straight" or "fixedly" is a bit better.
May 8, 2024
Thank you!!
|
Frigid This sentence has been marked as perfect!
GRAMMAR: The word "frigid" is an adjective. The noun form is "frigidity." However, the word ""frigidity" has often a very specific meaning: the inability to feel physical intimacy. |
|
I knew this could happen, and it did. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect!
|
|
I tried to control those unceasing thoughts, but my eyes didn't lie when I saw him in front of me. I tried to control those unceasing thoughts, but my eyes This sentence has been marked as perfect!
COMMENT: In some language such as Spanish, pronouns can come *before* nouns. However, in English and German they must come *after* nouns. |
|
I didn't imagine this could end like this, but he remains frigid, just as the last time. I didn't imagine it "Remains as frigid as the last time" might sound a little better here. I didn't imagine it I think if you don't specify his posture, the reader might think he's dead. I didn't imagine it I didn't imagine this could end like this, but he remain QUESTION: Dooes "frigid" mean "motionless" or something different? |
|
His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked finely ahead. His "Finely" sounds strange here. "Straight" or "fixedly" is a bit better. His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked "Finely" doesn't make sense to me. Did you maybe mean "straight ahead" or "dead ahead?" His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked What do you mean by "finely"? His brown, beautiful eyes blinked and looked |
|
Only he knows the despair he's hiding. Only he knows the despair he Stylistic here.
|
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium