kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Sept. 24, 2021

0
Friday

I cut a red rose from my little platform garden and sent it to the new headmaster. There are only 9 female stuff in the school, so I decided to send all of them rose if my rose grew well enough. I think most of them have never gotten roses.
I printed my file and sent it to the institution. I hoped I would get reply soon and pass the coming interview.
I am quite happy today. Because I will leave here sooner or later. I am more like an observer than a teacher. A teached regconised the girl in the footage who was smoking adroitly. Her name is Die, who is in Class 4. I am their English teacher, but I can't regconise her. So it means that she behave very normally in class. I observed her in class, she was quiet. Compared the smoking girl with the quiet girl, it was so interesting. I was deeply respect her acting. I will keep my eyes on her more, because I want to know how she is going.
During the class break, I was copying the PPT. Suddenly, a stange girl came to me and told me that someone were fighting. I went out at once, and saw there were standing many students like a circle. Two boys were hitting a boy who is in Class 4. I tried to stop them but them were fighting severely. It was quite horrible that I was afraid that they wouldn't regconise me as a teacher and hit me as well. I waited and when they separated a little, I pushed the boy away and asked them to stop. When I was back to classroom, I was told that they fighted again. There was another boy hitting the same boy. I had to stop them. A boy stood next to spoke: the teacher was here, to reslect her, don't fight here. Then they went downstairs. I told the teacher of Class 4 immediately. He said that it was a good fight, because he also wanted to hit the boy. Well, the boy is quite naughty in class. It seems that he will be hit early or late.

Corrections

Friday

I cut a red rose from my little platform garden and sent it to the new headmaster.

There are only 9 female stuaff inat the school, so I decided to send all of them roses, if my rosine grew well enough.

I think that most of them have never gottbeen sent roses before.

'Gotten' feels more like 取得 here.

I printed my filresume and sent it to the institution I was applying to work at.

Based on the next sentence and your discontent with your current job I made some assumptions. Without my corrections it's impossible for the reader to know what the 'file' and 'institution' are.

I hoped I would get reply soon and pass the coming interview.

I am quite happy today.

Because I will leave here sooner or later.

Connect to previous sentence

I am more like an observer than a teacher here.

A teachedr regcognised the girl in the footage who was smoking adroidiscreetly.

Maybe consider 'skillfully' if that's closer to what you meant. Either way, 'adroitly' is too fancy.

Her name is Die, whoand she is in Class 4.

I am their English teacher, but I cadidn't regcognise therm.

Might have misinterpreted here.

So it means that she behaves very normally in class.

I observed her in class, she was quiet.

Compared the smoking girl wiI would never have thought the the quiet girl, it was so interestingn class and the girl smoking in the classroom at night were one and the same.

Rewrote for fluency

I was deeply respect her acting skills.

I will keep my eyes on her more, because I want to know how she is gdoing.

During the class break, I was copying the PPT.

Suddenly, a stange girlgirl I didn't recognize came to me and told me that someone were fighting.

I assume you meant 陌生 and not 奇怪,. They both translate to 'strange', but only in certain contexts.

I wentcame out at once, and saw that there were standing many students likestanding in a circle.

Two boys were hitting another boy, who iwas in Class 4.

I tried to stop them, but themy were fighting severeferociously.

It was quite horrible that, and I was afraid that they wouldn't regcognise me as a teacher and would hit me as well.

The 'would' is important because otherwise is sounds like they wouldn't recognize you and wouldn't hit you.

I waited, and, when they separated a little, I pushed one of the boys away and asketold them to stop.

When I wascame back tointo the classroom, I was told that they were fighteding again.

There was another boy hitting the same boy.

I had to stop them.

A boy stoodwho was standing next to me spoke:, saying the teacher was here, to reslpect her, don't fight here.

Technically, "a boy stood next to me spoke" is correct, but in that case it actually is "a boy (who had been made to stand) next to me spoke." Another example: "The umbrellas had been stood up in a row near the door."

ThenFinally, they went downstairs.

I told the teacher of Class 4 immediately.

He said that it was a good fight, becaushe head also wanted to hit the boy.

WellTo be fair, the boy ishas been quite naughty in class.

It seemsed inevitable that he willould be hit earlysooner or later.

Feedback

Nice writing! I feel bad for that boy who was getting beat up, though.

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Sept. 25, 2021

0

I printed my filresume and sent it to the institution I was applying to work at.

I am preparing an interview about my education. If I pass, I can apply German school. The interview is aiming at Chinese students. I am so sad.

sivanc's avatar
sivanc

Sept. 25, 2021

0

I am preparing an interview about my education. If I pass, I can apply German school. The interview is aiming at Chinese students. I am so sad.

Oh, I see. So it's a program for Chinese students to study in Germany? If so, I would change 'resume' to CV/application and institution to 'program I am trying to get into.'

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Sept. 25, 2021

0

Yes, it was quite pain. I think if nobody stopped them, he would get badly hurt.

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Sept. 25, 2021

0

Oh, I see. So it's a program for Chinese students to study in Germany? If so, I would change 'resume' to CV/application and institution to 'program I am trying to get into.'

I need to submit quite a lot files, resume is included.

sivanc's avatar
sivanc

Sept. 25, 2021

0

I need to submit quite a lot files, resume is included.

Definitely 'application' then.

I cut a red rose from my little platform garden and sent it to the new headmaster.

There are only 9 female stuaff in the school, so I decided to send alleach of them a rose if my roses grew well enough.

I think most of them have never gotten roses.

I hoped I wouldill get reply soon and pass the coming interview.

I am quite happy today.

Because I will leave here sooner or later.

I am more like an observer than a teacher.

A teachedr regcognised the girl in the footage who was smoking adroitly.

Her name is Die, who is in Class 4.

I am their English teacher, but I can't regcognise her.

So it means that she behaves very normally in class.

I observed her in class, she was quiet.

CIt was so interesting to compared the smoking girl with the quiet girl, it was so interesting.

I was deeply respect her acting.

I will keep my eyes on her more, because I want to know how she is going.

During the class break, I was copying the PPT.

Suddenly, a strange girl came to me and told me that someone wereas fighting.

I went out at once, and saw there were standing many students likestanding in a circle.

Two boys were hitting a boy who is in Class 4.

I tried to stop them but themy were fighting severely.

It was quite horrible that I was afraid that they wouldn't regcognise me as a teacher and hit me as well.

I waited and when they separated a little, I pushed the boy away and asked them to stop.

When I was back toin the classroom, I was told that they fioughted again.

There was another boy hitting the same boy.

I had to stop them.

A boy stood next to spoke: the teacher was here, to reslect her, don't fight here.

Sorry, I don't know what you mean.

Then they went downstairs.

I told the teacher of Class 4 immediately.

He said that it was a good fight, because he also wanted to hit the boy.

Well, the boy is quite naughty in class.

It seems that he will be hit earlysooner or later.

Feedback

Interesting and detailed story!

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Sept. 25, 2021

0

Thank you.

Well, the boy is quite naughty in class.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

WellTo be fair, the boy ishas been quite naughty in class.

It seems that he will be hit early or late.


It seems that he will be hit earlysooner or later.

It seemsed inevitable that he willould be hit earlysooner or later.

Friday


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I cut a red rose from my little platform garden and sent it to the new headmaster.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

There are only 9 female stuff in the school, so I decided to send all of them rose if my rose grew well enough.


There are only 9 female stuaff in the school, so I decided to send alleach of them a rose if my roses grew well enough.

There are only 9 female stuaff inat the school, so I decided to send all of them roses, if my rosine grew well enough.

I think most of them have never gotten roses.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I think that most of them have never gottbeen sent roses before.

'Gotten' feels more like 取得 here.

I printed my file and sent it to the institution.


I printed my filresume and sent it to the institution I was applying to work at.

Based on the next sentence and your discontent with your current job I made some assumptions. Without my corrections it's impossible for the reader to know what the 'file' and 'institution' are.

I hoped I would get reply soon and pass the coming interview.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I hoped I wouldill get reply soon and pass the coming interview.

I am quite happy today.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Because I will leave here sooner or later.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Because I will leave here sooner or later.

Connect to previous sentence

I am more like an observer than a teacher.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I am more like an observer than a teacher here.

A teached regconised the girl in the footage who was smoking adroitly.


A teachedr regcognised the girl in the footage who was smoking adroitly.

A teachedr regcognised the girl in the footage who was smoking adroidiscreetly.

Maybe consider 'skillfully' if that's closer to what you meant. Either way, 'adroitly' is too fancy.

Her name is Die, who is in Class 4.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Her name is Die, whoand she is in Class 4.

I am their English teacher, but I can't regconise her.


I am their English teacher, but I can't regcognise her.

I am their English teacher, but I cadidn't regcognise therm.

Might have misinterpreted here.

So it means that she behave very normally in class.


So it means that she behaves very normally in class.

So it means that she behaves very normally in class.

I observed her in class, she was quiet.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Compared the smoking girl with the quiet girl, it was so interesting.


CIt was so interesting to compared the smoking girl with the quiet girl, it was so interesting.

Compared the smoking girl wiI would never have thought the the quiet girl, it was so interestingn class and the girl smoking in the classroom at night were one and the same.

Rewrote for fluency

I was deeply respect her acting.


I was deeply respect her acting.

I was deeply respect her acting skills.

I will keep my eyes on her more, because I want to know how she is going.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I will keep my eyes on her more, because I want to know how she is gdoing.

During the class break, I was copying the PPT.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Suddenly, a stange girl came to me and told me that someone were fighting.


Suddenly, a strange girl came to me and told me that someone wereas fighting.

Suddenly, a stange girlgirl I didn't recognize came to me and told me that someone were fighting.

I assume you meant 陌生 and not 奇怪,. They both translate to 'strange', but only in certain contexts.

I went out at once, and saw there were standing many students like a circle.


I went out at once, and saw there were standing many students likestanding in a circle.

I wentcame out at once, and saw that there were standing many students likestanding in a circle.

Two boys were hitting a boy who is in Class 4.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Two boys were hitting another boy, who iwas in Class 4.

I tried to stop them but them were fighting severely.


I tried to stop them but themy were fighting severely.

I tried to stop them, but themy were fighting severeferociously.

It was quite horrible that I was afraid that they wouldn't regconise me as a teacher and hit me as well.


It was quite horrible that I was afraid that they wouldn't regcognise me as a teacher and hit me as well.

It was quite horrible that, and I was afraid that they wouldn't regcognise me as a teacher and would hit me as well.

The 'would' is important because otherwise is sounds like they wouldn't recognize you and wouldn't hit you.

I waited and when they separated a little, I pushed the boy away and asked them to stop.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I waited, and, when they separated a little, I pushed one of the boys away and asketold them to stop.

When I was back to classroom, I was told that they fighted again.


When I was back toin the classroom, I was told that they fioughted again.

When I wascame back tointo the classroom, I was told that they were fighteding again.

There was another boy hitting the same boy.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I had to stop them.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A boy stood next to spoke: the teacher was here, to reslect her, don't fight here.


A boy stood next to spoke: the teacher was here, to reslect her, don't fight here.

Sorry, I don't know what you mean.

A boy stoodwho was standing next to me spoke:, saying the teacher was here, to reslpect her, don't fight here.

Technically, "a boy stood next to me spoke" is correct, but in that case it actually is "a boy (who had been made to stand) next to me spoke." Another example: "The umbrellas had been stood up in a row near the door."

Then they went downstairs.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

ThenFinally, they went downstairs.

I told the teacher of Class 4 immediately.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He said that it was a good fight, because he also wanted to hit the boy.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He said that it was a good fight, becaushe head also wanted to hit the boy.

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