ylladh's avatar
ylladh

June 29, 2020

0
French to English translation: At the end of my tether,

At the end of my tether,
Dying,

I don't know about you but I can't take it anymore. I keep going, worn out, running on fumes. My shoes walk in front of me, I follow them half-asleep. I'm looking for a monastery, a shelter, a place where I'm forgotten about. I want to bury myself very deep. But that's not for now. The Garden of Eden is still a distant illusion. So you anticipate. You go ahead. This week we're going to Easter Island, a terribly expensive dream holiday - we'll treat you. 35 minutes of auditory bliss, please do not disturb. And other craziness to come so we don't part too soon. Radio keeps rolling. Please let me know.


Au bout du rouleau,
Sub-claquantes,

Je sais pas vous mais j'en peux plus là. J'avance sur ma lancée, sur la jante, sur les vapeurs d'essence. Mes chaussures marchent devant, je les suis en somnolant. Je cherche un monastère, un abri, un endroit où l'on m'oublie. Je veux m'enfouir très loin. Mais c'est pas pour tout de suite. L'Eden est encore un distant mirage. Du coup on anticipe. On part devant. Cette semaine on va à l'île de Pâques, un rêve de voyage horriblement cher, on vous l'offre. 35 minutes de kiff auditif, ne pas déranger s'il vous plaît. Et d'autres folies à venir pour ne pas se quitter trop vite. La radio roule toujours. Prévenez-moi s'il vous plaît.

Corrections

French to English translation: At the end of my tether,

At the end of my tether,

Dying,

I don't know about you, but I can't take it anymore.

Je préfère qu'il y a une virgule, mais ce n'est pas tout nécessaire dans ce type d'écriture.

I keep going, worn out, running on fumes.

My shoes walk in front of me, I follow them half-asleep.

I'm looking for a monastery, a shelter, a place where I'm forgotten about.

I want to bury myself very deep.

But that's not for now.

The Garden of Eden is still a distant illusion.

So you anticipate.

You go ahead.

This week we're going to Easter Island, a terribly expensive dream holiday - we'll treat you.

35 minutes of auditory bliss, please do not disturb.

And oOther craziness to come, so we don't part too soon.

J'omettrais le « and » parce qu'il suggère ici une continuation d'une pensée. Puisque c'est une phrase incomplète, je ne peux vraiment saisir la logique de la continuation qui serait là.

Radio keeps rolling.

Please let me know.

Feedback

Cet écrit est un peu trop poétique pour que je puisse en corriger l'usage et la grammaire comme d'habitude. Je pense que l'écriture est pour la plupart acceptable comme poème en prose.

summerstorm's avatar
summerstorm

June 29, 2020

0

I'm looking for a monastery, a shelter, a place where I'm forgotten about.

You should leave off the "about".

summerstorm's avatar
summerstorm

June 29, 2020

0

This week we're going to Easter Island, a terribly expensive dream holiday - we'll treat you.

"holiday. Our treat."

summerstorm's avatar
summerstorm

June 29, 2020

0

And oOther craziness to come, so we don't part too soon.

"Other craziness is yet to come,"

summerstorm's avatar
summerstorm

June 29, 2020

0

Radio keeps rolling.

A radio "keeps playing". But, I'm not certain of your intended meaning.

profitendieu's avatar
profitendieu

June 29, 2020

0

A radio "keeps playing". But, I'm not certain of your intended meaning.

Good point. In the context of the overall style of the piece, it didn't really jump out at me, but I suppose "going on" or "playing" might be better.

ylladh's avatar
ylladh

June 29, 2020

0

Thank you, both.

French to English translation: At the end of my tether,


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

At the end of my tether,


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Dying,


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I don't know about you but I can't take it anymore.


I don't know about you, but I can't take it anymore.

Je préfère qu'il y a une virgule, mais ce n'est pas tout nécessaire dans ce type d'écriture.

I keep going, worn out, running on fumes.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My shoes walk in front of me, I follow them half-asleep.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I'm looking for a monastery, a shelter, a place where I'm forgotten about.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I want to bury myself very deep.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But that's not for now.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The Garden of Eden is still a distant illusion.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

So you anticipate.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You go ahead.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This week we're going to Easter Island, a terribly expensive dream holiday - we'll treat you.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

35 minutes of auditory bliss, please do not disturb.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And other craziness to come so we don't part too soon.


And oOther craziness to come, so we don't part too soon.

J'omettrais le « and » parce qu'il suggère ici une continuation d'une pensée. Puisque c'est une phrase incomplète, je ne peux vraiment saisir la logique de la continuation qui serait là.

Radio keeps rolling.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Please let me know.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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