For many, many years, since I lost my connection with my soul, I have been searching for a reconnection.

A reconnection with myself, with the world, that life, the feeling of a connection with the so -called God or Allah or Manitou or which ever name humans found for that big power of life and, sense, everything, and nothing.

Sometimes I foundgot it back.

It is not egoistic to do so, it is the biggest support of the world which I have ever felt.

But I failed and doubted, I was in fearscared to be hurt, in fearscared to fear others, in doubt that I will do sthomething positive to the world.

So I hide now, without trust in meyself .

Not knowing how much of my being is my soul or the product of every system which surround me, the culture I grow up in, the people who surround me, the experiences I was presented with in good and bad, with easynesse and difficultiesy, the work I did, the feeling I showed and hided, the moon of my birth, my ancestors, gGod’s will, my thoughts and feelings, the nutrition I got, the stuff I consume, the hormones and the ghost of the time.

I suffer for the feeling of beeing loved and connected and fear the steps out of the house.

How often is there a chance for changement into a lovely and right direction, and how long do I need to try and to learn.

And how long do I need to wait and to suffer until I feel that what I do is good and where I am is good and that this life will be loved and alive.

And iIs it we who build up that feeling or any believed logic or hard work or relaxation or the people who surround you with love.?

Please correct and comment, if you feel forlike it