Sept. 26, 2020
Free ride
Today is Saturday. I decided to find the newly opened road that my colleague told me about yesterday. At the beginning, I rode my bike heading straight to the south because I know it is approximately in that direction. But I didn't find it on my expected journey. So I quit this idea and headed straight to the countryside for a free ride. It was a worthwhile decision. During the ride, I saw a lot of nice scenery that occurred when I grew up in our village. If you grow up in the countryside, you will feel very kind when you see the pictures I shoot. I saw farmers busing to harvest corn and sesame; I saw sweet potatoes on the farm and the woods in the village. What impressed me the most was the muddy country path. It reminded me of the scenery where my father picked me up with his old bike in the early seventies. I ride this way with no directions, no thoughts, until I am tired off. Countryside has many sweet memories for me because it feeds me up. If I had time, I'd like to spend one more time visiting again.
Free ride
Today is Saturday.
I decided to find the newly opened road that my colleague told me about yesterday.
At the beginning, I rode my bike heading straight to the south because I know it is approximately in that direction.
But I didn't find it on my expected journey.
When you say "expected journey", you're saying that "the journey is expected", but I don't think you meant that.
Instead, you could say, "But, I didn't find it like I expected to."
So I quit this idea and headed straight to the countryside for a free ride.
It was a worthwhile decision.
During the ride, I saw a lot of nice scenery that occurredsimilar to the village whenre I grew up in our village.
If you groew up in the countryside, you will feel very kindnostalgic when you see the pictures I shoot.
"grow" --> "grew" because grew is past tense.
"kind" --> "nostalgic". "Kind" just isn't the right word here. "Nostalgic", or the noun, nostalgia, is a bittersweet feeling you get when looking at something that reminds you of the past.
I saw farmers busing to harvesting corn and sesame; I, and I also saw sweet potatoes growing on the farm and in the woods inby the village.¶
¶
"busing to harvest" --> "harvesting" I'm not sure what you meant by "busing to harvest", so I changed it to just "harvesting".
"I saw sweet potatoes..." --> "I also saw sweet potatoes..."
You used the word "saw" twice, so I added the word "also" to make it sound more natural. I removed the semicolon ( ; ), but you could also change the sentence to keep it if you want to.
--> "I saw farmers harvesting corn and sesame; I also saw..."
"...growing on the farm and the woods in the village." --> "...growing on the farm and in the woods by the village."
The way you phrased the sentence, the woods are inside of the village, which would be incorrect. Typically, things are "on" a farm, and "in" the woods. I used the words "by the village" because both the farm and the woods are next to the village. I wish I could draw a picture to explain this, but oh well.
What impressed me the mostgave me the strongest impression was the muddy country path.
"What impressed me the most was the muddy country path." is okay, but its just a little, little bit unnatural. "Gave me the strongest impression" sounds a little better.
It reminded me of the sceneryplace where my father would picked me up with his old bike in the early seventies/70's.
"scenery" is fine here, but since you already used that word earlier, I replaced it with "place" so you have more word variety.
"picked me up" --> "would pick me up" I changed this because I think you meant to say that your father picked you up habitually or multiple times by the muddy country path. So, "would pick me up" is the better word tense here.
I riode this way with no directions, no thoughts, until I amwas tired off it.
CThe countryside has many sweet memories for me because it feeds me up.
I don't know what "because it feeds me up" means, so I removed it. Good try!
If I hadve time, I'd like to spend onsome more time visiting again.
"had" --> "have". "Have" is the future tense. You're talking about what you want to do in the future, so "have" works better here.
"one" --> "some" I changed this because "one" just doesn't sound natural. However, if you want to use the expression "one more time", you could say, "If I have time, I'd like to visit one more time." or even "If I have time, I'd like to visit again."
Feedback
I can tell that you're really trying to use English expressions here, which is impressive, because many expressions are hard to understand. I know I made a lot of corrections, but everything you wrote made sense. There were just some minor errors or some slightly unnatural phrases that I wanted to change.
Overall, you did a great job. Keep writing journals, and never give up!
Sept. 26, 2020
CThe countryside has many sweet memories for me because it feeds me up.
What I want to express is "it's the country that raised me."
Sept. 26, 2020
Thank you for your corrections and the detailed notes. They really helped me so much. I appreciate it and thank you again.
Sept. 26, 2020
What I want to express is "it's the country that raised me."
In that case, "The countryside has many sweet memories for me because its where I was raised."
or
"The countryside basically raised me, so I have many sweet memories of it."
This sentence is closer to what you wanted to say. You could take out the word "basically", but I think it makes the sentence sound more natural in this context.
Sept. 26, 2020
Thank you for your corrections and the detailed notes. They really helped me so much. I appreciate it and thank you again.
Absolutely! The best thanks I can get from you is more journals in the future :)
|
Free ride This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Today is Saturday. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I decided to find the newly opened road that my colleague told me about yesterday. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
At the beginning, I rode my bike heading straight to the south because I know it is approximately in that direction. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
But I didn't find it on my expected journey. But I didn't find it on my When you say "expected journey", you're saying that "the journey is expected", but I don't think you meant that. Instead, you could say, "But, I didn't find it like I expected to." |
|
So I quit this idea and headed straight to the countryside for a free ride. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It was a worthwhile decision. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
During the ride, I saw a lot of nice scenery that occurred when I grew up in our village. During the ride, I saw a lot of nice scenery |
|
If you grow up in the countryside, you will feel very kind when you see the pictures I shoot. If you gr "grow" --> "grew" because grew is past tense. "kind" --> "nostalgic". "Kind" just isn't the right word here. "Nostalgic", or the noun, nostalgia, is a bittersweet feeling you get when looking at something that reminds you of the past. |
|
I saw farmers busing to harvest corn and sesame; I saw sweet potatoes on the farm and the woods in the village. I saw farmers "busing to harvest" --> "harvesting" I'm not sure what you meant by "busing to harvest", so I changed it to just "harvesting". "I saw sweet potatoes..." --> "I also saw sweet potatoes..." You used the word "saw" twice, so I added the word "also" to make it sound more natural. I removed the semicolon ( ; ), but you could also change the sentence to keep it if you want to. --> "I saw farmers harvesting corn and sesame; I also saw..." "...growing on the farm and the woods in the village." --> "...growing on the farm and in the woods by the village." The way you phrased the sentence, the woods are inside of the village, which would be incorrect. Typically, things are "on" a farm, and "in" the woods. I used the words "by the village" because both the farm and the woods are next to the village. I wish I could draw a picture to explain this, but oh well. |
|
What impressed me the most was the muddy country path. What "What impressed me the most was the muddy country path." is okay, but its just a little, little bit unnatural. "Gave me the strongest impression" sounds a little better. |
|
It reminded me of the scenery where my father picked me up with his old bike in the early seventies. It reminded me of the "scenery" is fine here, but since you already used that word earlier, I replaced it with "place" so you have more word variety. "picked me up" --> "would pick me up" I changed this because I think you meant to say that your father picked you up habitually or multiple times by the muddy country path. So, "would pick me up" is the better word tense here. |
|
I ride this way with no directions, no thoughts, until I am tired off. I r |
|
Countryside has many sweet memories for me because it feeds me up.
I don't know what "because it feeds me up" means, so I removed it. Good try! |
|
If I had time, I'd like to spend one more time visiting again. If I ha "had" --> "have". "Have" is the future tense. You're talking about what you want to do in the future, so "have" works better here. "one" --> "some" I changed this because "one" just doesn't sound natural. However, if you want to use the expression "one more time", you could say, "If I have time, I'd like to visit one more time." or even "If I have time, I'd like to visit again." |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium