April 25, 2023
Formal Email 2
Dear Mr. Francisco, I am writing to express my interest to intervene in the next trip presentation, which I recently saw in your last email. I think I would be a good candidate for this because I have visited several places throughout my life. Although I do not have experience giving presentations, I am a fast learner and I am eager to gain new skills. I would be grateful if you assign me this task because it will help me to improve my speaking skills.
Regarding the destination, I would like to present Japan as an interesting destination to go on vacation for everybody. I strongly believe it is a fascinating country for many reasons. First, It offers a unique cultural experience that is hard to find elsewhere in the world. Second, the food is also a highlight of the trip, with ramen, sushi, and tempura being just a few examples of the delicious cuisine that offers.
Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Sergio
Formal Email 2
Dear Mr. Francisco,
¶
¶
I am writing to express my interest to intervene in presenting the next trip presentation, which I recently, which I saw in your last email.
"intervene" isn't really used in connection with presentations in the US.
I think I would be a good candidate for this because I have visited several places throughout my life.
Although I do not have experience giving presentations, I am a fast learner and I am eager to gain new skills.
I would be grateful if you would assign me this task because it will help me to improve my speaking skills.
Regarding the destination, I would like to present Japan as an interesting destination to go on vacvacation destination for everybody.
Yay! I love visiting Japan!
I strongly believe it is a fascinating country for many reasons.
First, It offers a unique cultural experience that is hard to find elsewhere in the world.
Second, the food is also a highlight of the trip, with ramen, sushi, and tempura being just a few examples of the delicious cuisine that is offersed.
Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sergio
Feedback
Very well done!
April 26, 2023
Thanks a lot for your corrections! They've been really helpful. You're awesome!
Dear Mr. Francisco, ¶
I am writing to express my interest to intervene in the next trip presentation, which I recentlyparticipating in the presentation about the next trip which I saw in your last email.
New line after Mr. Francisco
Don't think you need recently as it was his last email.
I think I would be a good candidate for this because I have visited several places throughoutin my life.
"in" or "during" rather than "throughout"
Although I do not have experience giving presentations, I am a fast learner and I am eager to gain new skills.
Don't need I twice in the same list of your abilities
I would be grateful if you assign me this task because it will help me to improve my speaking skills.
Regarding the destination, I would like to present Japan as an interesting destination to go onfor a vacation for everybody.
I strongly believe it is a fascinating country for many reasons.
First, It offers a unique cultural experience that is hard to find elsewhere in the world.
Second, the food is also a highlight of the trip, with ramen, sushi, and tempura being just a few examples of the delicious cuisine that it offers.
it = Japan
Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
SYours sincerely,
Sergio
April 25, 2023
Thank you for your corrections and explanations :)
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Formal Email 2 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Dear Mr. Francisco, I am writing to express my interest to intervene in the next trip presentation, which I recently saw in your last email. Dear Mr. Francisco New line after Mr. Francisco Don't think you need recently as it was his last email. Dear Mr. Francisco,
¶ "intervene" isn't really used in connection with presentations in the US. |
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I think I would be a good candidate for this because I have visited several places throughout my life. I think I would be a good candidate for this because I have visited several places "in" or "during" rather than "throughout" This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Although I do not have experience giving presentations, I am a fast learner and I am eager to gain new skills. Although I do not have experience giving presentations, I am a fast learner and Don't need I twice in the same list of your abilities This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I would be grateful if you assign me this task because it will help me to improve my speaking skills. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I would be grateful if you would assign me this task because it will help me |
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Regarding the destination, I would like to present Japan as an interesting destination to go on vacation for everybody. Regarding the destination, I would like to present Japan as an interesting destination Regarding the destination, I would like to present Japan as an interesting Yay! I love visiting Japan! |
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I strongly believe it is a fascinating country for many reasons. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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First, It offers a unique cultural experience that is hard to find elsewhere in the world. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Second, the food is also a highlight of the trip, with ramen, sushi, and tempura being just a few examples of the delicious cuisine that offers. Second, the food is also a highlight of the trip it = Japan Second, the food is also a highlight of the trip, with ramen, sushi, and tempura being just a few examples of the delicious cuisine that is offer |
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Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and I look forward to hearing from you soon. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sincerely,
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Sergio This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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