Feb. 9, 2020
First Summarization
The big opportunity for students to attend a college
With the help of a college prep program, students are able to receive a lot of support from other peers of theirs.
Diogene Artiles, who studies at Columbia University, remembers gathering in an auditorium with other pupils during high school. Upon ripping open their envelopes
they were shocked to such an extent, that some of them even shouted.
The envelopes contained the results of a test, which they’d taken a few weeks ago. Upon ripping open their envelopes,
they were shocked to such an extent, that some of them even shouted.
Basically, it’s a prep program that helps students to get into a college, aimed especially students from low-income families. The average score is 60 out of 100.
“It was a reality check," said Artiles, “I was shocked.”
Students who were accepted into the SEO, began to study with the organization, starting in 1963. According to William Goodloe, they tell the students that they’ve done nothing wrong. In addition to this, they want them look towards the future. Students will learn more and make up for what they did not study in school. In case they attend the organization's after-school classes and take advantage of mentors’ help, they’ll definitely enhance their knowledge and excel in their studies.
The SEO program’s headquarters is located in NYC, and in San Francisco as well. The SEO has some offshoots for students to start career s in finance and law. Since 2006, it has helped hundreds of students to get degrees. Nevertheless, organizations like SEO turn down more students than they accept. Although leaders of the organizations say that they’re more interested in committed students, it’s still a tough process. To illustrate this, only one of hundred students can be accepted to a college, whereas others are denied. Generally, students are referred by principles and must supply report cards, recommendations and be interviewed.
“You can move the needle a little with these one-off programs. “, said Elisabeth Barnett, a senior scholar at Teachers College, Columbia University “But to actually graduate a lot of first-generation students you need to move the needle a lot. ” The Posse Foundation has worked for some years to address this issue. Like the SEO, it has a 90% graduate rate. Nonetheless, it takes great foresight, as well as offers of college-readiness workshops peer monitoring group,and tutoring to help students secure scholarships.
Educators at the SEO Scholars organization place a high priority on rectifying the type of socio-emotional pitfall that holds the first-generation students back. Moreover, a team of counsellors works and takes calls from mentally fatigued students in order to listen to them.
On Saturday, at the Barach College, more than two hundred sophomores slung their bags over their shoulders and headed for the class. Students spent time reading an article in "The Atlantic" magazine about the role of sports in American high schools. As they read it, they jotted down unfamiliar words such as “glorify” and “intractable”. Then, they gathered in small groups to identify the words’ definition.
Artiles says that he was confident when he arrived at university after going through the program. He’d done a Korean-language program in Seoul, and he'd got the number of an SEO college advisor. And this year, when he found out that the students in the Contemporary Civilization class would be reading Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”, he felt 100% ready.
He’d already read it with the SEO Scholars.
First sSummarization
Titles are capital.
With athe help of a college prep program, students are able to receive mucha lot of support asfrom other peers of theirs.
"A lot of" sounds more natural here.
Diogene Artiles, who studies at Columbia University, remembers gathering in an auditorium with other pupils during high school.
OUpon ripping open their envelopes/ the envelopes handed to them, they were shocked to such an extent, that some of them even shouted.
No envelopes have been mentioned beforehand, so you would use some other article, like "their", or some other phrasing entirely, but not the word "the".
The test was provided by the SEO Scholars.
In briefBasically, it’s a prep program that helps students to attendget into a college, aimed especially forstudents from low-income onfamilies.
"Basically" sounds more natural. Also, in the latter half of the sentence, the phrasing is not that natural or clear, so I provided something else.
“It was a reality check. ”," said Artiles, “I was shocked.”
This is the proper punctuation for reported speech in English.
Students, who were accepted into the SEO, begian to study with the organization, which starteding in 1963.
According to William Goodloe, they tell the students that they’dve done nothing wrong.
"they have done", not "they had done", as this the perfect, not pluperfect.
In addition to this, they want them move tolook towards the future.
I'm not sure exactly what meaning you were aiming for here, so I gave an alternative that I think works.
Students will learn more and make up for what they did not study in schools.
In case they attend ithe organization's after-school classes and take advantages of mentors’ help, they’ll definitely enhance their knowledge and excel in their studies.
I changed a little bit of the phrasing where it sounded wrong. Also, in "its classes", i think you should have done, "the organization's classes", as it isn't very clear so far into the text.
The SEO program’s headquarters is located in NYC, and in SFan Francisco as well.
Thought it might help clarify the meaning by using the long names, especially since referring to San Francisco as "SF" isn't very common amongst English speakers.
Besides, it has a 90% of graduation rate.
Besides doesn't really work here, could you clarify the intended meaning and then I'll suggest a correction?
The SEO has some offshoots for students to achieve jobstart careers in finance and law.
This sounds more natural to me.
Even Although, leaders of the organizations say that they’re more interested in committed students, it’s still a tough process.
To give an example/ illustrate this, only one of hundred students can be accepted to a college, whereas others are denied.
Both alternatives work.
“You can move the needle a little with these one-off programs. “ , said Eliszabeth Barnett, a senior scholar at Teachers College, Columbia University “But to actually graduate a lot of first-generation students you need to move the needle a lot. ” The Posse Foundation have worked for some years to address this for some yearsissue.
Elisabeth or Elizabeth? Did you mistype it? Also, my rephrasing of the last sentence sounds more natural.
Like the SEO, it has a 90% of graduate rate.
Nonetheless, it takes a long view, helping plenty of students secure scholarships, offering themgreat foresight, as well as offers of college-readiness workshops, as well as peer monitoring groups, and tutoring to help students secure scholarships.
This word order is far better than the original.
Educators at the SEO Scholars organization place a high premiumiority on rectifying the type of socio-emotional pitfall that holds the first-generation students back/ plagues the first-generation students.
Moreover, a team of counselors works and takes calls from mentally fatigued students in order to listen to them.
Again, sounds more natural.
On Saturday, at the Barach College, more than two hundred sophomonres, slung their bags over their bagshoulders and headed for the class.
I think was the expression you were going for.
Students spent ontime reading an article in "The Atlantic" magazine about the role of sports in American high schools.
Helps clarify a little.
Artiles says that he was confident when he arrived at the Uuniversity due toafter going through the program.
He’d done a Korean-language program in Seoul, and he'd got the number of an SEO college advisor.
Also, he’d got the number of an SEO college advisor.
These should be one sentence.
And this year, when he knewfound out that the students in the Contemporary Civilization class would definitely be reading Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”, he wasfelt 100% ready.
I saw what you were trying to say, and made it sound more natural.
He’d already read it with the SEO Scholars.
Feedback
Very good vocabulary and very long post! Your English is quite marvelous, but it could use a little bit of practice with your expression. Just a little bit of practice and you'll be doing great! Nice job, well written. :)
Feb. 15, 2020
“You can move the needle a little with these one-off programs. “ , said Eliszabeth Barnett, a senior scholar at Teachers College, Columbia University “But to actually graduate a lot of first-generation students you need to move the needle a lot. ” The Posse Foundation have worked for some years to address this for some yearsissue.
Nope, I didn't. It's her real name
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First summarization First Titles are capital. |
|
The big opportunity for students to attend a college |
|
With a help of a college prep program, students are able to receive much support as other peers of theirs. With "A lot of" sounds more natural here. |
|
Diogene Artiles, who studies at Columbia University, remembers gathering in auditorium with other pupils in high school. Diogene Artiles, who studies at Columbia University, remembers gathering in an auditorium with other pupils during high school. |
|
On ripping open the envelopes, they were shocked to such an extent, some of them shouted.
No envelopes have been mentioned beforehand, so you would use some other article, like "their", or some other phrasing entirely, but not the word "the". |
|
The envelopes contained the results of a test, which they’d taken a few weeks ago. |
|
The test was provided by SEO Scholars. The test was provided by the SEO Scholars. |
|
In brief, it’s a prep program that helps students to attend a college, especially for low-income ones.
"Basically" sounds more natural. Also, in the latter half of the sentence, the phrasing is not that natural or clear, so I provided something else. |
|
The average score is 60 out of 100. |
|
“It was a reality check. ”, said Artiles “I was shocked.” “It was a reality check This is the proper punctuation for reported speech in English. |
|
Students, who accepted into the SEO, begin to study with the organization, which started in 1963. Students |
|
According to William Goodloe, they tell the students that they’d done nothing wrong. According to William Goodloe, they tell the students that they’ "they have done", not "they had done", as this the perfect, not pluperfect. |
|
In addition to this, they want them move to the future. In addition to this, they want them I'm not sure exactly what meaning you were aiming for here, so I gave an alternative that I think works. |
|
Students will learn more and make up for what they did not study in schools. Students will learn more and make up for what they did not study in school |
|
In case they attend its after-school classes and take advantages of mentors’ help, they’ll definitely enhance knowledge and excel. In case they attend I changed a little bit of the phrasing where it sounded wrong. Also, in "its classes", i think you should have done, "the organization's classes", as it isn't very clear so far into the text. |
|
The SEO program’s headquarters located in NYC, and in SF as well. The SEO program’s headquarters is located in NYC, and in S Thought it might help clarify the meaning by using the long names, especially since referring to San Francisco as "SF" isn't very common amongst English speakers. |
|
Besides, it has 90% of graduation rate. Besides, it has a 90% Besides doesn't really work here, could you clarify the intended meaning and then I'll suggest a correction? |
|
SEO has some offshoots for students to achieve jobs in finance and law. The SEO has some offshoots for students to This sounds more natural to me. |
|
Since 2006, it has helped hundreds of students to get degrees. |
|
Nevertheless, organizations like SEO turn down more students than they accept. |
|
Even though, leaders of the organizations say that they’re more interested in committed students, it’s still a tough process.
|
|
To illustrate, only one of hundred students can be accepted to a college, whereas others are denied. To give an example/ illustrate this, only one of hundred students can be accepted to a college, whereas others are denied. Both alternatives work. |
|
Generally, students are referred by principles and must supply report cards, recommendations and be interviewed. |
|
“You can move the needle a little with these one-off programs. “ , said Elisabeth Barnett, a senior scholar at Teachers College, Columbia University “But to actually graduate a lot of first-generation students you need to move the needle a lot. ” Posse Foundation have worked to address this for some years. “You can move the needle a little with these one-off programs. “ , said Eli Elisabeth or Elizabeth? Did you mistype it? Also, my rephrasing of the last sentence sounds more natural. |
|
Like SEO, it has 90% of graduate rate. Like the SEO, it has a 90% |
|
Nonetheless, it takes a long view, helping plenty of students secure scholarships, offering them college-readiness workshops, as well as peer monitoring groups and tutoring. Nonetheless, it takes This word order is far better than the original. |
|
Educators at SEO Scholars place a high premium on rectifying the type of sociemotional pitfall that holds the first-generation students. Educators at the SEO Scholars organization place |
|
Moreover, a team of counselors works and takes calls from mentally fatigued students to listen. Moreover, a team of counselors works and takes calls from mentally fatigued students in order to listen to them. Again, sounds more natural. |
|
On Saturday, at the Barach College, more than two hundred sophomones, slung over their bags and headed for the class. On Saturday, at the Barach College, more than two hundred sophomo I think was the expression you were going for. |
|
Students spent on reading an article in The Atlantic about the role of sports in American high schools. Students spent Helps clarify a little. |
|
As they read it, they jotted down unfamiliar words such as “glorify” and “intractable”. |
|
Then, they gathered in small groups to identify the words’ definition. |
|
Artiles says he was confident when he arrived at the University due to program. Artiles says that he was confident when he arrived at |
|
He’d done a Korean-language program in Seoul. He’d done a Korean-language program in Seoul, and he'd got the number of an SEO college advisor. |
|
Also, he’d got the number of an SEO college advisor.
These should be one sentence. |
|
And this year, when he knew the students in Contemporary Civilization class would definitely be reading Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”, he was 100% ready. And this year, when he I saw what you were trying to say, and made it sound more natural. |
|
He’d already read it with SEO Scholars He’d already read it with the SEO Scholars. |
|
First Summarization |
|
With the help of a college prep program, students are able to receive a lot of support from other peers of theirs. |
|
Diogene Artiles, who studies at Columbia University, remembers gathering in an auditorium with other pupils during high school. |
|
Upon ripping open their envelopes |
|
they were shocked to such an extent, that some of them even shouted. |
|
Upon ripping open their envelopes, |
|
they were shocked to such an extent, that some of them even shouted. |
|
Basically, it’s a prep program that helps students to get into a college, aimed especially students from low-income families. |
|
“It was a reality check," said Artiles,“I was shocked.” |
|
Students who were accepted into the SEO, began to study with the organization, starting in 1963. |
|
According to William Goodloe, they tell the students that they’ve done nothing wrong. |
|
In addition to this, they want them look towards the future. |
|
Students will learn more and make up for what they did not study in school. |
|
In case they attend the organization's after-school classes and take advantage of mentors’ help, they’ll definitely enhance their knowledge and excel in their studies. |
|
The SEO program’s headquarters is located in NYC, and in San Francisco as well. |
|
Although leaders of the organizations say that they’re more interested in committed students, it’s still a tough process. |
|
To illustrate this, only one of hundred students can be accepted to a college, whereas others are denied. |
|
“You can move the needle a little with these one-off programs. “ , said Elisabeth Barnett, a senior scholar at Teachers College, Columbia University “But to actually graduate a lot of first-generation students you need to move the needle a lot. ” The Posse Foundation have worked for some years to address this issue. |
|
Nonetheless, it takes great foresight, as well as offers of college-readiness workshops peer monitoring group,and tutoring to help students secure scholarships. |
|
Educators at the SEO Scholars organization place high priority on rectifying the type of socio-emotional pitfall that holds the first-generation students back. |
|
Moreover, a team of counselors works and takes calls from mentally fatigued students in order to listen to them. |
|
On Saturday, at the Barach College, more than two hundred sophomores, slung their bags over their shoulders and headed for the class. |
|
Students spent time reading an article in "The Atlantic" magazine about the role of sports in American high schools. |
|
AArtiles says that he was confident when he arrived at university after going through the program. |
|
And this year, when he found out that the students in the Contemporary Civilization class would be reading Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”, he felt 100% ready. |
|
He’d already read it with the SEO Scholars. |
|
“It was a reality check," said Artiles, “I was shocked.” |
|
The SEO has some offshoots for students to start career s in finance and law. |
|
“You can move the needle a little with these one-off programs. “, said Elisabeth Barnett, a senior scholar at Teachers College, Columbia University “But to actually graduate a lot of first-generation students you need to move the needle a lot. ” The Posse Foundation has worked for some years to address this issue. |
|
Like the SEO, it has a 90% graduate rate. |
|
Educators at the SEO Scholars organization place a high priority on rectifying the type of socio-emotional pitfall that holds the first-generation students back. |
|
Moreover, a team of counsellors works and takes calls from mentally fatigued students in order to listen to them. |
|
On Saturday, at the Barach College, more than two hundred sophomores slung their bags over their shoulders and headed for the class. |
|
Artiles says that he was confident when he arrived at university after going through the program. |
|
He’d done a Korean-language program in Seoul, and he'd got the number of an SEO college advisor. |
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