FThe following is an essay I wrote for my writing class,,. Thank you so much as always . The following is an essay I wrote for my writing class. Thank you so much as always.

An environmental crisis has recently have become a major concern to environmentalists around the world. An environmental crisis has recently become a major concern to environmentalists around the world.

has라고 앞에 이미 쓰신 게 맞는데 뒤에 또 have를 붙이셨어요!

Each environmentalist came up with his/their own theories on the originationas to the source and the implications of ithis crisis. Each environmentalist came up with their own theories as to the source and implications of this crisis.

"his or her"은 단수 "they"로 대체하실 수 있어요. 다만 제 개인적인 경험 상 선생님에 따라서 전자를 선호하시는 분들도 계셔서, 이건 따로 확인해 보시는 게 좋을 것 같네요.

Among these environmentalists is Kempf, a French environmental journalist, and author of the book, "How the Rich are Destroying the Earth" (2008). He, too, attempted to illuminate the source of this emergency. Among these environmentalists is Kempf, a French environmental journalist and author of the book "How the Rich are Destroying the Earth" (2008). He, too, attempted to illuminate the source of this emergency.

뒤에 저 "He, too, ..." 문장은 아예 빼버리셔도 무방할 것 같아요. 책의 제목 같은 경우는 큰따옴표가 아니라 이탤릭체로 쓰셔야 해요.

His reasoning is clear: oligarchy and consumption derived by thefrom our social structure caused thise crisis, and are making the issue worse and worse. His reasoning is clear: oligarchy and consumption derived from our social structure caused the crisis, and are making the issue worse and worse.

While he supports socialism and democracy, he is opposinges capitalism, economic oligarchy, and overconsumption. While he supports socialism and democracy, he opposes capitalism, economic oligarchy, and overconsumption.

"supports" "opposes" tense를 맞춰 주세요

Indeed, oligarchy and overconsumption are what engendered the current environmental disaster. Indeed, oligarchy and overconsumption are what engendered the current environmental disaster.

OAn oligarchy representis a form of government in which power effectively rests withon a small elite segment of society distinguished by royalty, wealth, family ties, military might, or religious hegemony. An oligarchy is a form of government in which power effectively rests on a small elite segment of society distinguished by royalty, wealth, family ties, military might, or religious hegemony.

This book defines oligarchy aswith the few number ofexistence of those few wealthy elites. This book defines oligarchy with the existence of those few wealthy elites.

무슨 뜻인지 잘 모르겠어요. 제가 쓴 게 맞나요..?

According to the book, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening and the moneyed are effectively creating a social ladder that the needy peoplepeople in need cannot overcome. According to the book, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening and the moneyed are effectively creating a social ladder that people in need cannot overcome.

He includes a number of surprising statistics on how the gross income of the wealthy far exceeds the incomeat of the humblelower class. He includes a number of surprising statistics on how the gross income of the wealthy far exceeds that of the lower class.

gross income이랑 그냥 income이랑 혹시 다른 의미로 쓰신 건가요?

The leisure class at the headtop cuts itself off from the society by constructing a social ladder that is hard to climb. The leisure class at the top cuts itself off from society by constructing a social ladder that is hard to climb.

He could have related this to the pressure that society exerts on the people, such as through, for instance, TV shows orand advertisements. He could have related this to the pressure that society exerts on the people through, for instance, TV shows and advertisements.

This is indeed true, according to the U.S. Census Bureau,'s “Income Earners by Quantile", retrieved in 2006, in which. It shows that the top quantile occupies the 77.16 percent of the total income whileereas the very bottom occupies a mere 2.67 percent. This is indeed true, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's “Income Earners by Quantile", retrieved in 2006. It shows that the top quantile occupies 77.16 percent of the total income whereas the very bottom occupies a mere 2.67 percent.

Kempf uses Veblen’s theory to explain “ostentation and imitation,” the derive for emulation and consumption: t. The economy is dominated by the principle: “the propensity for emulation – for invidious comparison – is of ancient growth and is a pervading trait of human nature.” Although human nature contributes somewhat to consumption and the environmental degradation, it may not be the sole cause of the problem. Kempf uses Veblen’s theory to explain “ostentation and imitation,” the drive for emulation and consumption. The economy is dominated by the principle: “the propensity for emulation – for invidious comparison – is of ancient growth and is a pervading trait of human nature.” Although human nature contributes somewhat to consumption and the environmental degradation, it may not be the sole cause of the problem.

콜론을 저렇게 쓰시면 가독성이 확 떨어져요. 아마 문법적으로도 틀린 걸로 알구요. 그냥 끊어 쓰셔요